This is a great submission, and I love the idea of flying warships.
It funny in that the Cosmic Era, with all its darkness, has an optimistic side to it - more so than our own world. Regardless of its barbarism, public opinion has not managed to move real world governments away from nuclear, biological or chemical weapons.
In some ways, a world without nukes feels more fantastic than a world with warp drive.
This reminds me of my pressure washer :) I suppose you could have a mode that sends lots of little squirts over a wide area to deal with fighters and missiles as well. Or a fan-like blast. Being machines, you program all sorts of patterns into the nozzles to deal with the specific threat at hand.
Maybe even to act as a decoy, one of these could set their rockets to maximum diffusion, and fire all of them at once to surround their ship in wildly dispersed, slow-moving plasma, an irresistible beacon for heat seeking weapons, and potentially blinding to IR sensors nearby?
A great item with lots of potential. It is really well done, though one of Gossamer's questions highlights a minor formatting issue - some of the paragraphs need to be broken up. For example, even the description could benefit from being broken into more paragraphs - I would do so at the
"The glass, which protects"
and
" An expert watchmaker "
I think the watch would draw its power from the life-potential lost by its users due to the ageing, and so those with longer lifespans that humans would simply be aged a greater amount consistent with their extended lifespans. I'd rule Immortals could not use the item at all for the same reason.
Gossamer - the question on manipulation is in there, though it may have been added since you read it, but it is buried deep in a paragraph.
..."They will find it just as easy to move things as it was when time was not frozen, they could open doors, move people, but would not be able to manipulate anything too heavy for them, objects in this environment also defy gravity, and will float in the air if placed there"
I like these - I have put a little thought into this area as well. I would add a network of xray-laser mines as well. These would be scattered all about, running cold with just enough energy to monitor laser-communications with the Eyes, to avoid their detection.The source would most probably be an RTG using the nuclear warhead carried to generate the x-ray blast.
The Eyes would have all the sensors/intelligence and would use lasers to communicate with the mines, giving them their very simple instructions - a target vector - to fire upon.
I personally do not like scripted plots once PC's are on the scenes, so I'd have the PCs awakened by a panicked crewmember. For some reason, perhaps they were overlooked in the confusion, the PC's come on the scene just before the discovery of the demons - the power outage threw them out of sleep, hard, and they emerge disoriented.
From that point on, they can influence the continued unfolding of events.
In any case, this is only my take on it above what has been said about the demons. I'd have at least filed the names off em :)
I personally do not like scripted plots once PC's are on the scenes, so I'd have the PCs awakened by a panicked crewmember slightly before the demons are discovered - perhaps they were overlooked in the confusion. they come out with all hell breaking lose.
From that point on, they can influence the continued unfolding of events.
In any case, this is only my take on it above what has been said about the demons. I'd have at least filed the names off em :)
Great creature, great selection of images. Love the battery :)
I agree with the Gossamer's point - I would not use the anachronistic description, regardless of its accuracy. Perhaps describe it as an oddly buzzing whistle?
An interesting character, though I would like some suggestions or plot ideas to use him. Of course he could be popped into the game as a generic diabolist, but there is more to him than that.
There are some odd sentences, including some run-on-sentences that are distracting to me.
It also needs run through a spell checker - there are a fair number of typos.
These feel like a sort of Amish Dwarf - with some things reversed, like the beards of course.
They add needed diversity to the culture of the dwarves, who being a smart and adaptive race like others really should not be tied to specific geographies. I'd like to see a fantasy world where the borders are more in line with those in our world. I.e. generally where they are easiest to defend. Dwarves,Elves, orcs would have realms that potentially include hills,mountains, plains - whatever their numbers and power allow them to hold. Go to Comment
I have to agree with Gossamer. Also, since I understand English is not your first language, I would suggest using a word processor (libreoffice is free) that includes grammar checking.
The meaning is reasonably clear, but the shifting of tenses and the absence of 'ed in various places is too distracting to give the idea itself a proper review.
Please let me know if you would like line-by-line feedback on this one. :)
Articles (Setting Building) (Gaming - Genre)
I'd happily add these to the Science Fiction region, but these really need their own. :)
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