Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Doctor Hugh Riot
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Technical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-09-15 11:36 AM
This is a great villain. He feels worse than both Dr. Doom and Dr. Octopus.

A welcome addition to the Cosmic Era. Go to Comment
Imbrian Culture
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Trans World)
valadaar's comment on 2014-09-08 10:23 AM
A very good writeup - lots of details and the tendency for these people to store stuff extradimensionally helps tie up the loose ends of where the heck are all the artifacts.

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PrimaryAssociateProfiles.tex
NPCs  (Extras)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-29 07:31 AM
A nice assortment of characters - I love the hints at your game world these folks bring. Seems they would also fit well in Scras's Cosmic Era - it has a similar vibe.

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30 Sea-bottom Encounters
Plots  (Discovery)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-27 11:14 AM
Out wit ye! Go to Comment
Luna Ring
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-25 07:49 AM
This is a great sub, though the power of the ring is overshadowed by its origin and details.

Will this disparity be addressed in the upcoming submission you mention?

Welcome to the Citadel! Go to Comment
A Game of Princes
Plots  (Event)   (Campaign)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-25 07:23 AM
This is a good adventure/campaign setup. Not too detailed, but then its not too tied to a specific setting.

For princesses, there are several 30's that could be used:

30 Princesses

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A Game of Princes
Plots  (Event)   (Campaign)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-25 09:59 AM
Bleh can't believe I minced Prince and Princesses :)
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Necropolis
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Puzzles)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-19 09:22 AM
Wow, excellent use of graphics and interesting puzzles. It is very old school style - the dungeon existing mainly as a test, with insta-death being common. Since you cite Tomb of Horrors as an inspiration, that part is not too surprising, and I would hope PCs going in would know this.

Welcome to Strolens! Go to Comment
Beans - Magic Beans!
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-14 01:48 PM
Getcher Magic beans here! Cheap! 7 beans for an old cow! Go to Comment
Necrotrons
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-14 11:38 AM
I like these - brings back visions of Starcraft with infested units, but its still very cool.

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Teratology
Systems  (Mystical)   (Defining)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-12 08:57 AM
This is an excellent treatment of the Giant Monster vibe, apart from the creatures as deadly contaminates being as strongly put as they being a source of food/fertilizer. Though, given the low value of the individual in the Cosmic Era I guess they are not necessarily at odds.
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Balor's Embrace
Items  (Armor)   (Cursed)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-05 09:21 AM
This hints at more, and I think covers the bases nicely. The bit about the dark spirits aiding the smith is a good one - I like this.

The nature of its chief ability - to counter pain - is loose enough to fit to many game systems mechanics, so really the determination of its power is up to the GM.
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Heraldry of the Underworld
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - Genre)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-05 09:44 AM
Hmm, thought I commented, but apparently did not click OK.
This has a lot of uses, and is a perfect fit with Tattoos.

These can be used also to adorn items to provide subtle clues to their abilities.
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The Black Leviathans
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-30 01:43 PM
Update: Out with ye - Cult of Done! Go to Comment
The Black Leviathans
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-30 09:15 PM
Its not broke - it was a filler link that didn't get filled..

Guess I'll need to fix it :)
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The Black Leviathans
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2014-07-09 03:51 PM
Pieh? Wow! :)
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The connected
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-30 07:41 AM
There are a few hive-mind type creatures, but there is no reason you can't add another :)

A quick comment on word structure - you have a couple of sentences which aren't really sentences.

eg:

"Though absorbing a group of mentally ill patients will not help their cause."

Drop the Though, and it works better.

and

"Forming temporary structures to get over walls or getting their brethren up on the ceiling for the upcoming ambush."

I'd suggest:

"They can form temporary structures to get over walls or getting their brethren up on the ceiling for an upcoming ambush.


I hope you don't mind this feedback - I tend to find stuff like this a little distracting and makes it more difficult for me to judge the idea on its own merits.


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MagnaSpawn
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-16 02:42 PM
Mmm. Spawnage! For the Swarm! Go to Comment
World Creation and the Citadel
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Citadel Help)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-11 10:08 AM
Great idea!

I can also create regions if needed. I have a somewhat abandoned one here - http://strolen.com/regions/World_of_Neyathis

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Letters; of Marche, Reprisal, and Blight
Systems  (Political)   (General)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-13 11:08 AM
A good idea, though there are some significant wording issues and typos that are very distracting to me, and take away from this idea.

Some sentences are not formed well. For example:

"Taking the enemies property in lieu of payment."

,.. Is what? Allowed? Not Allowed? Encouraged?



There are bolded words which are setup as links, but do not link to anything. Eg. Blight to the Realm people or Estate beast.

I would suggest putting this submission through spellcheck (Google docs is easy and free) or using chrome and it's built in one.

I would also suggest reading the submission aloud to yourself to catch the odd wording, sentence structure, and the occasional run-on sentence.
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