This, though geared toward a Transformers setting, is something that can inspire villains of all persuasions; technological, organic or otherwise. I think these are important things to think about when creating an antagonist. These do not say "Mwahaha, I am so evil!" They believe they are doing the right thing, and through strength, deception, and conquest try to bring about a better (in their eyes) world. Indeed, stories are often one sided. How often do we hear the good guys bash the "evil empire" and never get the other side of the story? What if the rebels really are just that: radical terrorist organizations trying to overthrow a strict, militant, but otherwise benevolent government who is trying their best to rule justly and put bread on its citizens' tables?
This is truly a great write up for a culture. I would give it a 4.5 or 5, but there are numerous grammatical errors that drag it down slightly, so it gets a 4. Keep it up, and I hope to hear more about this land of Parna. Go to Comment
A priest who is forced to become what he hates the most. Hilarity ensues. All in all, one of the less stereotypical vampires I have seen over the years. Plus, he doesn't get shiny in sunlight! Very good sub, and worthy of any game, especially one where the church and vampires clash as a major conflict of the setting. Go to Comment
This is very nice, Cheka. Of all the were-creatures, the Mosquito would seem unlikely, but the ties to bloodsucking and disease make it work all the better. I like that at first she used it to exact vengeance against those who wronged her or her loved ones, then gradually slipped into using it for her own personal gain. It could get a tiny bit more fleshed out, and the plot hooks could be a little more thorough, but all in all a solid sub. Go to Comment
After reading your past submission on something like this, I can say this is a great improvement. For a group of badasses for whom a few serious third degree burns is no big deal, this could be a great boon. Very flavorful and useful. Might find its way into an alchemy based story I'm working on. Go to Comment
This is an excellent magic system, as it limits the sometimes "munchkinny" powers of wizards. After all, historically, practitioners of magic primarily gained power through deals with spirits, demons or, with a little bit of arabian flair, "djinni". Well done. Go to Comment
I like this. It's not spectacular (and Harry Potter already has a wand called the Deathstick, FYI), but it is solid. The plot hooks are predictable, but okay, and there is just enough detail (and knowing about the other Ma-O subs helps). Go to Comment
I love this. One issue--this keeps reminding me of a cross between HK-47 from Star Wars: KOTOR and Andy from the Dark Tower. In other words, I can't help but think of him as harmless on the outside, but harboring a sinister purpose below the surface. Fortunately for you, this makes me like his potential even more. Plus, the system of telling time is just too good to pass up. Go to Comment
RGT, I've been reading a lot of your recent posts, and I must say, you are quickly becoming a rising star here on the Citadel. This is a well thought out evolution of a long standing warriors code, and it, like your posts on your Gods, is beyond excellent. You get a 5 for your continued great work! Go to Comment
I think this is wonderful. Certainly provides a sensible explanation for all of these legendary ships with supernatural abilities that are floating around. I imagine this could also be extended to airships, or in a suitably magical sci-fi campaign, spaceships. Very nice, and a 4.5 to you, sir. Go to Comment
Well said, Scras. This is a beautifully thought out city... the combination of salt and cattle industries is a well planned, natural seeming progression of a city's ecomonic growth (this, coming from an economist, so well done). I particularly like the plentiful numbered footnotes corresponding to different sections of the writeup. Very nice! Go to Comment
I think its great precisely because its TV showish... and maybe a little because I thought up a character just like this myself, and I simply love the detail and quirky bits. Definitely a 5/5. Go to Comment
This is a nice addition to the 30s on this sight. A few minor grammatical mistakes here and there, and some of the entries could stand to be fleshed out some more, but all in all, I enjoyed reading this. Go to Comment
Saril had a dream. To open a library in the windswept wastes of Naarish, so that the people of the many villages and towns spread over the hundreds of leagues of desert could discover the joys of his books. For a whole year he kept his library open, but alas, almost no one came.
That is when Saril came up with his new idea. If people didn't travel to read his books, he would travel to them! Saril closed his library, hired a team of twelve camels, loaded up the beasts with all of his books and proceeded to invent the first nomadic library.
Now children and adults alike, looked forward to hearing the bells of Saril's camels as he entered their villages, as he tirelessly traversed the deserts in a long circuitous route, visiting every village and town he came across, in turn. It came to pas that Saril's traveling library came to some fame, and that is how the folk of Naarish became literate.
A word of warning though. Naarish has only six thousand volumes. He deals with those that lose or steal his tomes quite "harshly", by bypassing the town or village which was responsible for losing one of his books for that calendar year.