3 (Solid post) + 1 (originality) + 0.5 (personal like)
This is a complete post: Proper back story, proper twist, can be integrated into any world.
I think even though this in a changed form could be used in game, it should be more viewed philosophically and comically. I f the writing style was just a bit better, it'd qualify for a 5 in my view...
Good job! :)
Hmm, good stuff!
I'm just wondering, how come the Asdas hasn't fallen into wrong hands already? It isn't exactly inconspicuous, Horlord doesn't seem to have the best defenses out there, and rumours about it are all around. Is there a higher power (a la Ravenloftian Dark Powers) keeping it bound to it's keeper? Which makes me think this would fit perfectly into a Ravenloft-like system!
Interesting, novell, plausible! All good things a rce should be. In fact, this is one of the better races I've encountered in the citadel. I like the last plot hook as well. And they are quite easy to integrate into settings lacking the Glade cabal.
Wonderfully dark and detailed! Only a few spelling and grammar errors, especially in the beginning of the story distract.
I wonder how you could provide a nemesis or antithesis for him, for example a nanny, in a similar situation, but reacting with compassion, forgiveness and love instead of despair and inviting demons...