It is a 30. The 30 of them would all fall under character class of thieves in a roleplaying game. True I should of named it the 30 thieves, but its just like any other 30 in all but the name of the submission. In fact I was pretty close to naming it the 30 thieves any way I didn't know the name would make that much of a difference.
Also a thief is not a profession and neither is a criminal. But they all belong to a group and they are all linked together by the Master thief. This means that my 30 are part of a gang and as such are a valid 30. Go to Comment
moon: thanks you gave me some really good tips but I have to refute you on certain points.
I said the it was like the wheel of time just to be sure that no saw a similarity. Also I only know that the post is a bit vague but it is supposed to be so that the time knights can be incorperating into any setting.
For the renegade elements part I am truely sorry I should of gone over that part. Basically the Renegades are people that have a kind of freedom from the continuality of time. These renegades are able to fight the Time Knights because of this freedom from the constraints of time.
Not explaining about the High Duke and the history of the Time Knights is not a cop out. The Time Knights are meant to be mysterious.
My world is like a looped tape but I wouldn't put it like that. Its no different to other worlds with a destiny theme. Besides only the time knights and maybe a few wizards know about this continual world so it makes no practical difference. Go to Comment
I like it but chaosmark is right when he says something is missing. It needs more detail and I think its focused on more individual fighting that fighting in an army. I like the voice though Go to Comment
Updated: No, English is not my first language but I am dyslexic so I have difficulty with writing. I know it is hard to understand a world which I haven't even started to explain but I will get to that soon enough. To Scras, it is like this: a King or Lord does not have to get its own feed so why should Vampires. The Vampires' Blood Oaths are as good as magically binding. As for Manfred I think several ideas can be taken from this but I can only see my one right now.
To Moon: You are right as usual and the codex is for the assasins page.
Sorry about having to write in update notes but I just can't comment with this account. Go to Comment
Updated: Wrong its based on sparticus all the way. And every reference to battle is from David Gemmell. I take back what I said about you always being right. Anyway is that all? Is there nothing actually wrong with my submission? Go to Comment
1. How is the history pointless it tells us who made it why there is so few of the stones and provides a plot hook for players who might be intrested in alchemy, I think the history made it quite clear that the young guy was put in that cell to be rescued. However now that i think about it I might make the Charstone into a plot.
2 Who said anything about magical booyah, the boys may have been foolish by not seeing the stones potential but for heavens sake not all alchemists are the organised type. I said nothing about lab notes which means there are no lab notes.
3 Oh and I definatly did not make this clear. The stones are small and you could not fuel a forge with with one or two it also needs oil to be poured on the stone at first to get it going. Even with all the stones put together the fire would not be sufficient to fuel a forge they need really hot fires and all the stone does is sustain the fire that is it.
4.Like I said the history was only meant to give the stone a bit of background and if the plot needs more detail then I will do that when I make it into an actual plot. Go to Comment