Useful. It only makes sense that in a world where military technologies eventually trickle down into civilian use (ie. the Internet, humvees, etc) that the Battlemech world would eventually see the rise of civilian used "industrial Mechs." My only gripe is the "Bonecrusher" and "Ripper" sound too aggressive for civilian issue machines. I'd offer up "Dozer" and "Auger" myself, but if that's the biggest complaint I have, I think you're doing just fine for yourself here.
I hear the Ghostbusters theme song playing in the background. And that's a good thing. steampunk/clockpunk themed ghostbusters spring into my brain.
Have a five for a new take on an old favorite (of mine.) An old dog with some radical new tricks.
Now lets throw Bill Murray in some chainmail and go demon-busting.
Extremely well written and concise, but at the same time flowery, but lacking the verboseness that some flowery writers have. I like it alot. Being honest it reminds me of the Witcher Books, with the Djinn and Ley Lines, but I suppose even that draws upon the mythological concepts of magic (magik) that existed long before. Good job!
Solid submission - concise and to the point. I find that I'm too long winded, so a shorter sub is refreshing. I almost want to know about their society a little more; what about this benevolent sea dragon, what do they build out of and how do they fight? But I suppose that is to be left to the imagination/ GM =]
I like this alot - it exemplifies a good, solid "Warrior Code." Perhaps it's just my realism (bordering on Cynicism) kicking in but this, to me, looks alot like a Code of chivalry. I never supposed Mercenaries abided by a Code of Honor save for "Win the battle, get the gold, head home."
All in all, for what it is, it's absolutely great. I like the language especially. Simple, written very much like a Medieval document, but at the same time flowery in it's own right, without being verbose at all.
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I believe that it's unique-ness merits it a nice high score. I don't particularly believe it needs any fleshing out - it has a physical description, a nice brisk history, and it's functional uses, all concisely laid out and organized. I say, if one is using this in a table-top game, let the players (and the GM) decide just what uses such a versatile tool might have. After all, subsonic and supersonic noises may not just disturb the undead...
Plenty of opportunities here. Good work!
"So what? Farmers can be fierce, especially when they have to defend all they own, when those snivelling, cheese-mongering nobility refuse to help! They grow fat off our toil, and do nothing to aid us in our times of need! If they won't defend us, we will defend ourselves!"
I can imagine a farmer saying it, pitchfork in hand. A little zeal goes a long way.
Beautiful structure. Wonderful history. I have almost painted the land in my head. This is truly exceptional. You haven't just shown me a community or a region on a simple map; this is a living, breathing society.
Congrats on being able to bring a fantastic land to life.
At first it simply seemed like fairly standard-fare fantasy stuff, but upon closer inspection, I see you have taken great care to break or reshape the molds of some traditional fantasy tropes. Good job doing that - though I think I like your created races even better.
Cool idea, needs a little bit of fleshing out. Everything I was going to say has already been said. Unique idea; a normal sort of "Everyday" animal gone mutant makes for something out of the ordinary. It still just seems a little "too ordinary" as far as magical or mutant creatures go, if that makes any sense.
The only issue I have here is that the Plink breaks up upon being touched. If it's broken, how does it reproduce? If it's a molecular chain and that's all, it can't have any intelligence. It sounds more like a bacterial colony than anything else, perhaps a fungus? If you want to make it a semi-intelligent life form, the best way to do it might be to say that the Plink burrows in through a pore, and floats around in the bloodstream, before lodging itself into the bone marrow. Because a creature that breaks up and then reproduces doesn't make much sense, at least not to me, unless it breaks up and reassembles itself inside the body as a creature, rather than a molecule. That's just my take. Other than this, good jorb.
This is SO cool! I'm getting a distinctly Tyranid/Zerg feel, and thats NOT a bad thing at all. I particularly liked the Carapace armor not just being a shell, but partly biological and even 'intelligent' which is AWESOME. This is a really interesting sub, and I will not search for one detailing the race properly. If it's not there, I'm going to be upset ;]