Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Non-Combatant Mecha
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-12 12:17 AM


Useful. It only makes sense that in a world where military technologies eventually trickle down into civilian use (ie. the Internet, humvees, etc) that the Battlemech world would eventually see the rise of civilian used "industrial Mechs." My only gripe is the "Bonecrusher" and "Ripper" sound too aggressive for civilian issue machines. I'd  offer up "Dozer" and "Auger" myself, but if that's the biggest complaint I have, I think you're doing just fine for yourself here.


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Non-Combatant Mecha
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-12 10:15 AM
I suppose it would be harder to do. Perhaps instead of "Dozer" and "Auger" I'd offer "Bull" and "Lion/Magnacat" respectively. Bull for obvious reasons, and "Lion" (Or any sort of big cat for that matter) because of their tendency to "rake" at their prey with razor sharp claws, much like the ripper tool does to volcanic rock (hence the play-on-words for "Magnacat.") Just a suggestion though considering this is a simple matter of preference. Go to Comment
Lockzennite's Lance
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-10-24 10:21 AM


This will fix those pesky chastity belts!


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The Ecto-Burner
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-10-23 01:31 PM


I hear the Ghostbusters theme song playing in the background. And that's a good thing. steampunk/clockpunk themed ghostbusters spring into my brain.



Have a five for a new take on an old favorite (of mine.) An old dog with some radical new tricks.



Now lets throw Bill Murray in some chainmail and go demon-busting.


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Shambala
Locations  (City)   (Mountains)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-21 04:45 PM


I think you just took a wonderful piece of Buddhism, and made it unique and fantastic, while still retaining all the emotional and philosophical pieces that come together to make the legend of Shambala so important. I like it.


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The Sorcerer's Art
Systems  (Mystical)   (Defining)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-18 02:51 PM


Extremely well written and concise, but at the same time flowery,  but lacking the verboseness that some flowery writers have. I like it alot. Being honest it reminds me of the Witcher Books, with the Djinn and Ley Lines, but I suppose even that draws upon the mythological concepts of magic (magik) that existed long before. Good job!


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Saltscale Lizardfolk
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Water)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-06-16 11:51 AM


Solid submission - concise and to the point. I find that I'm too long winded, so a shorter sub is refreshing. I almost want to know about their society a little more; what about this benevolent sea dragon, what do they build out of and how do they fight? But I suppose that is to be left to the imagination/ GM =]


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Mercenaries' Code
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (General)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-08-25 11:50 AM


I like this alot - it exemplifies a good, solid "Warrior Code." Perhaps it's just my realism (bordering on Cynicism) kicking in but this, to me, looks alot like a Code of chivalry. I never supposed Mercenaries abided by a Code of Honor save for "Win the battle, get the gold, head home." 



All in all, for what it is, it's absolutely great. I like the language especially. Simple, written very much like a Medieval document, but at the same time flowery in it's own right, without being verbose at all.



Excellent.

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Mercenaries' Code
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (General)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-08-25 11:51 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Hexahedron Virtuoso
Items  (Art and Music)   (Non-Magical)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-04 01:21 PM


I believe that it's unique-ness merits it a nice high score. I don't particularly believe it needs any fleshing out - it has a physical description, a nice brisk history, and it's functional uses, all concisely laid out and organized. I say, if one is using this in a table-top game, let the players (and the GM) decide just what uses such a versatile tool might have. After all, subsonic and supersonic noises may not just disturb the undead...



Plenty of opportunities here. Good work!


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The Lairdlands
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Plains)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-04 05:22 PM


"So what? Farmers can be fierce, especially when they have to defend all they own, when those snivelling, cheese-mongering nobility refuse to help! They grow fat off our toil, and do nothing to aid us in our times of need! If they won't defend us, we will defend ourselves!"



I can imagine a farmer saying it, pitchfork in hand. A little zeal goes a long way.



Beautiful structure. Wonderful history. I have almost painted the land in my head. This is truly exceptional. You haven't just shown me a community or a region on a simple map; this is a living, breathing society.



Congrats on being able to bring a fantastic land to life.


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Races of Kuramen
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - Genre)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-10 02:02 PM


At first it simply seemed like fairly standard-fare fantasy stuff, but upon closer inspection, I see you have taken great care to break or reshape the molds of some traditional fantasy tropes. Good job doing that - though I think I like your created races even better.


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Summer's Extinguisher
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Other)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-08-25 01:24 PM


"Winter is coming"



Love it. As the poster above me mentioned, definently reminds me of 40k "World-Killing" Ordinance. I really like your Kel'regar subs. These are AWESOME.


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Warprender and Weftcleaver
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-18 05:13 PM


sweet weapons man.


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The Giant Swans of Pier Point
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-10-22 08:12 PM


Cool idea, needs a little bit of fleshing out. Everything I was going to say has already been said. Unique idea; a normal sort of "Everyday" animal gone mutant makes for something out of the ordinary. It still just seems a little "too ordinary" as far as magical or mutant creatures go, if that makes any sense. 


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The Giant Swans of Pier Point
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-10-22 08:13 PM
I would like to add that you get kudos for the unique back story. Though fantastic in nature, it reminds us all that real problems in the real world can cause some rather fantastic, or in this case, gruesome things to occur. Go to Comment
The Plink
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Any)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-08-22 01:43 PM


The only issue I have here is that the Plink breaks up upon being touched. If it's broken, how does it reproduce? If it's a molecular chain and that's all, it can't have any intelligence. It sounds more like a bacterial colony than anything else, perhaps a fungus? If you want to make it a semi-intelligent life form, the best way to do it might be to say that the Plink burrows in through a pore, and floats around in the bloodstream, before lodging itself into the bone marrow. Because a creature that breaks up and then reproduces doesn't make much sense, at least not to me, unless it breaks up and reassembles itself inside the body as a creature, rather than a molecule. That's just my take. Other than this, good jorb.


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Kel'Regar Technology
Items  (Other)   (Non-Magical)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-08-25 11:43 AM


This is SO cool! I'm getting a distinctly Tyranid/Zerg feel, and thats NOT a bad thing at all. I particularly liked the Carapace armor not just being a shell, but partly biological and even 'intelligent' which is AWESOME. This is a really interesting sub, and I will not search for one detailing the race properly. If it's not there, I'm going to be upset ;]


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Kel'Regar Technology
Items  (Other)   (Non-Magical)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-08-25 05:01 PM
I meant to say "now" instead of "not" Go to Comment
The 'Elite' Goblin Cavalry of Terkuss Tahkhan
NPCs  (Extras-Horde)   (Combative)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-10 11:29 AM


vivid, humerous, informational, useful and well written. All the necessary components of a good sub (and humor doesn't hurt.) 5/5


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