I need one of these rings. They'd be very useful in siege situations- you'd be able to get soldiers inside the castle easily, since they'd survive (probably) the catapult ride.
What wold happen, though, if some dramatic-entrance-ruiner took out his spear or sword or something and tried to stab the bada** as he came down? Would bracing the spear against the floor work, or would the spear guy have to stab the approaching person? I'd assume that the bracing wouldn't work, though. And stabbing would be hard to do with also avoiding the projectile.
Solid suggestions, Forganthus, and I'll put some of them in there I think that I'll put some extra bits in their to make him more interesting. And no, he doesnt't have to be an orphan, I just am him one to give him more freedom to hang with the knights. I'm thinking now of making him a runaway, who joined a gang and became a thief. And now, since the knights rejected him, he's regressed into his old way of thinking- which would help with his plot.
And as for something unexpected- hmm. I'll get back to you on that one. Go to Comment
I was drawn by the title like a heroin addict drawn by a large pile of heroin. And then you tell me that its all about glory and fame? Sigh.
Question the First: why couldn't Brait help his sister in the beginning? I get the whole premise that he can only do great things in Josslander's name, but helping your sis with the water doesn't really require invoking Josslander.
Question the Second: why couldn't/didn't Brait wipe out the Viking party? Well, raiders. Same thing. Killing off six raiders single handedly is no small feat. Unless you use magic or a bow or something that can kill from far away.
Question the Third: the chap that's a waterfall now. Is he enjoying being continuously dashed on the riverbed? It would seem kind of painful to continuously fall and splatter, over and over and over... Go to Comment
It's a good idea, but I'd kind of like more. This seems like simply the bare bones of this idea. I mean, don't force more stuff in there just to please me, but... I don't know what you would add, though. Go to Comment
In the beginning, you mention people, before having agriculture, growing crops. Either your eyes skipped over this particular contradiction during the edit, or I missed something.
Other than that, good job. My only other gripe is how hard it would be for a bunch of untrained peasants to kill a noble man, especially a body guarded one. Go to Comment
First: if you the resulting god-self was powerful enough, you could go make a paradise. You're a god, after all. Who's going to stop you?
First and a half: you go into the pantheon, but you don't actually have to do anything with them. You could just form a group with a couple of buddies and create some walls, a beach, and a couple of "entertainment pieces"
Second: if two people had same interests and suitability, they would simply get the same powers. There can be multiple gods of love or dancing or swimming or totalitarianism or tyranny or war or slaughter or battle or the sea or ... Or ... Or...
Great job, axelrowes. The backstory is really good. And creepy.
My only suggestion would be to throw a brief description of everything at the end. Like maybe a little something about the bird-things, and a little something more about the Cult. Something that sets in stone your idea of the Cult. Maybe add the consequences of writing Truth without the sun. A little something you couldn't add during the actual writing of the story.
Nice job, axelrowes! Caesar193 seal of approval. Go to Comment
The Players Cult Society/ Organizations (Religious)
(World Wide)
Nice. So, basically, PCs running around with a reason for the antics they get up too.
My only suggestion would be to maybe add a couple more Guilds to the scene. The three you have do work, but I think that such a cult would have five maybe. I know if I joined I'd start my own guild, called the Laeti- the happy guild, believing that extreme happiness, the most perfectly happy a person could possibly be, leads to escape from the game.
But, overall, nice. This cult bears the caesar193 seal of approval. Go to Comment
To quote Dozus: "challenge accepted." I shall eventually do this. Naturally, the question of when is still uncertain. I'll try to do it now, but Mathom is a genius at what he does. If only he'd delay the bestow meant of his first on me. Go to Comment
Why can't it be used in the game? I considered adding a note at the bottom for this.
Simply pick a point in her tale and chop off the future with extreme prejudice. Simply take the entirety of her story as a baseline for how she'll act in the present. And to increase interaction, you could throw more oh-and-this-is-essential's in the whole unbanishing of Othnarios. I gave the basics. Why not throw in the fact that boiling tar from this valley needs to be poured into the hollowed out leg of the still alive kid? And then re-sew the hoof back on. Naturally.
Or you could use this to show what's happening elsewhere. While the PCs are running around after this villain, add a bit of flavor about this unlucky kingdom. And then, when they get enough levels and XP, Hope can resummon him. Go to Comment
Pretty much all of the above. To avoid repeating all of them, I won't talk about the backstory. Maybe you could add something to the stats, if you don't end up deleting them entirely. Maybe say which system you used, or maybe translate it to other systems? Like say that it provides a lot of hit points. But you could throw the stats into the backstory in a creative way. Like for example, describe how Averemarn (sorry if I mangled the name) was badly wounded the next battle but found his wounds closing, and how the demonic forces looked on the magic in fear and fled.
Right now, I'll give you a 2/5. I'll relook and revote if you edit it. Go to Comment
I wouldn't mind you writing micro stories about Atheus at all. Well, I'd like it if you PMed me the details of a potential sub you had in mind, so that I could tell you if this part makes sense according to my vision of this place. But go right ahead.
And about the "something I know you excel at" you mentioned? Why, thank you most kindly, sir. I am quite honored.
Vignettes (thank The Lord for online dictionaries!) coming right up! As soon as I find my brain. Go to Comment
Half-caste races? Like half-elves and and dwarf-orcs?
They don't exist. Elves and dwarves and humans and the others are different species and cannot interbreed.
And for the human thing- it is human against the world, yes, but that doesn't mean the rest of the world likes each other. Elves and dwarves and goblins and orcs still have wars between each other, and the chances of them stabilizing would be exceedingly low. Unless, of course, a particularly charismatic chief came around... Go to Comment
Items (Jewelry) (Magical)
What wold happen, though, if some dramatic-entrance-ruiner took out his spear or sword or something and tried to stab the bada** as he came down? Would bracing the spear against the floor work, or would the spear guy have to stab the approaching person? I'd assume that the bracing wouldn't work, though. And stabbing would be hard to do with also avoiding the projectile.
This is 100 words!!!!! Go to Comment