I wasn't actually going for Jesus, though I do see how he could be thought of that way. I was actually going for the Prophet John's namesake (John the Baptist, Jesus's forerunner) more than I was Jesus. And, of course, Malcolm X with the death bit, and the public speaking, religion, birth (as in, the Prophet John, as people know him, has no past that bears any importance to the man of the present. Like Malcolm X), convincing, charitable, and furthering his cause. Of course, the wandering thing is a good similarity to Jesus, and was, somewhat, intentional. Go to Comment
First off, let me make something perfectly clear. He didn't convert an entire continent. What he did was convert one country, bring another near to the conversion line, and instill confidence into a religion. Lunism then, on its own, either spread into other cities or increased its numbers in them.
And two, they don't convert immediately, and Trianarianism isn't running around blatantly. You'd get a crappy reputation. Except for the instances where they do try to kill the Prophet John, they go about ruining the other religions and increasing their converts stealthy. If the religion is seen as dangerous to the people, the kingdoms will ban it, and how would that help Trianarianism?
And three, you raise some very good points. And I will act on those points. You know. Eventually. Probably (hopefully) tomorrow. Go to Comment
Brains in a jar so that people can watch their porns and live comfortably is a wonderful idea. I love how you tease us with the "the Secret" section, which not only hooked me in, but wrapped me in a variety of nets and chains to land my metaphorical fish body.
Though I am curious how one could program a brain, I assume that you could with sufficient technology and enough hand-waving and techno-babble done on your part. Go to Comment
In Atheus, and I'll probably write a sub about it eventually, demons abide in another realm. They don't want to come here (except for the occasionaly wackado, but you get that with any race), but they do, because the wizards (especially the human ones) summon them and force them to do their bidding. Think of demons as slaves that can cast spells and stuff.
Anyway, Culthus is the typical demon. He doesn't like being enslaved, and knows the rest of the demons don't like it either. So once he frees himself, but isn't able for some reason to go back home, he goes off trying to free the rest of his buddies from their wizard overlords. Wizards don't like it, they trap him in a stone circle, and wander off.
So Culthus believes that freeing himself can be achieved by getting a lackey to make a cult and sacrifice stuff on the pedestal he's caged in. If he is freed, then he'll either return to his home land, or he might have gone insane during his imprisonment and wants to kill everyone. Its really the DM's call.
And Culthas doesn't so much strike the Circle from history as he makes everyone forget about it before they can write it down. Military expeditions don't make a habit of taking around scholars to record their exploits. They generally wait till after the combat and ask the participants a bunch of questions. Only in this case no one remembers the answers. Culthas prefers this state of being as it prevents the country from keeping those he'd exploit away. Go to Comment
The level of detail for this race is great, and I like their backstory, and how they go insane after a bit. Though I think they shouldn't be a different species technically, since they have no desire to procreate, they are a nice upgrade of the simplistic Mongrelmen you describe at the end. Go to Comment
The ability seems kind of weak to me, and slightly un-dwarfy. Yes, you could do the double-tap thing, which would double the damage, but while your doing that your opponent is wailing on you. I'd think a dwarf would prefer a straightforward device that provides a more tangible reward for waiting. Perhaps the power of your strike increases the longer you wait to release the magic. Or that maybe it allows a strike that would happen in the future happen know (flip-flopping what's happening know, with applying the rune, then activating the rune). I don't know how that would work (actually, I do have an idea, but it would take to long to describe it for a comment), but it would be kind of cool.
Anyways, my question is this: did you see the picture, then write a sub about its cool features, or did you write a sub about a hammer, then find a picture that was of something similar to what you had in mind? Go to Comment
I like the gruff guy. Like SE, I feel an explanation would ruin things. And to counter Val's point, perhaps it would be better to have a couple of NPCs along who are unimportant enough and greedy enough to run ahead, take all the gold (unless a certain PC is fast enough and stupid enough to compete), and then die miserably. Go to Comment
The name for them makes a certain kind of sense now.
The only thing I'd like out of this is more details. For example, could we get a list of various mines, or perhaps a couple of examples? So that we could know such things as working conditions, and things like that. Go to Comment
Thought-provoking. One doesn't really think of the little people who do all the hard-work fixing the things the famed pilot wrecks. And its an excellent point that these mechs would need a hangar to care for them.
My question is how big are the mechs. Are they like suits that fit around a human's body, or does the pilot fit comfortably inside the very tip of the head? Go to Comment
I like the racial purge, and, well, everything. The movies are nice, though I kind of think that there are too many- the point of the sub is that Neo-Anatolia is a new California, party/culture capitol, all the rich/wealthy people moved there, not what movies they made. Don't get me wrong, I love each and every one of them, but if I counted them right, you've got 29 of them- why not just turn 'em into a separate, 30s sub?
And, as val said, this is like a whole campaign setting. The sheer level of details is amazing. This is getting a HoH. Go to Comment
You should probably link your Lazarus. Whitebone Tomes, and Library subs to this, so people who lack the knowledge of your fall into being a Hellstrolenite and the whys and hows of that fall can learn of it.
Other than that, I felt that it was kind of just a repeat of what you had all ready done with the previous Whitebone Tomes sub. It was really just the addition of Lazarus (who, for the purpose of this sub, is the bartender who hands out rumors), a couple of additional ideas for the Tome's locations (the only ones that weren't all ready given as ideas for their locations was the necromancer one and the comatose viking one), and an ending betrayal.
The idea for the betrayal was nice, and the raising of Skezemo is a good one (though I do kind of want to know how it happened- from what I had gathered, Skezemo became part of the library, not the tomes. And the tomes help with summoning demons, and not mortals). The execution, too, is good. But overall, I'd say this is a 3.5 Go to Comment
Your points are all well and good. A triangular city is very illogical. All I can say on why Triastu is a triangle is that Adonis was an archaeologist, not a civil engineer.
Now, for your growth concerns: Triastu is not planning on growing. If they did, they'd either have to build on the Green (which they find useful for circuses, merchant vendors, public announcements, etc.) or expand past their wall (which they find to be more beautiful without a bunch of buildings in front of it). To avoid growth, they do three things: export people, employ people, and educate people/
First, they either exile petty criminals or execute serious criminals. Or just jail them for life. But most of the time they exile them. It's also not just criminals who leave, though: being the Holy City of Trianarianism, they also train and send priests all over Atheus to tend their flocks. Some lucky ones get sent to cities, some unlucky ones to villages.
Second, they employ people. Around the belt of forest that surrounds Triastu are farms and villages. Typically, the city will provide the homeless with a small farm by one of these villages (which also has the added benefit of improving Triastu's appearance). They do the same with the poor, who specifically ask and provide a good reason for it. There are also mines and logging industries that require workers but don't set up shop inside the city. People are sent to make a living their.
Third, they employ lots of population controls, and educate their citizens about them. They also impose heavier taxes on families with three children, with more and more taxes the higher amounts of children there are. They also have lots of healthcare, which keeps the birthrates and the death-rates roughly even. Of course, in times of plague, the taxing-children thing would be dropped. Go to Comment
The one thing I would change is how you handle the "name change." It took me as second to realize that this new character Brand was actually Jon. I'd say right away, as soon as you decide to start calling the protagonist Brand, to have a line about the fact that the daughter told him his actual name.
But other than that, it was great. Excellent work, Dossta. Go to Comment
Update: I seem to be slightly lost physically, mentally, and emotionally on where I was going on this one. I've been updating it every so often in the segments as shown above. I kind of wanted to make the Raveten more... creepy. Strange. Terrifying. Something more for something that blows up corpses. So, yeah, here it is. The oh-most-beautiful Raveten. Don't give it a corpse. Go to Comment
The description of the egg hatching was for two reasons. The first was to show how the Sciremagi had warped the Raven, not only in the whole corpse explosion thing- normal Raven eggs are of a different coloring. And it showed a bit of the early, childhood stage of the Raveten- assumptions can be made that, since their adult eyes are black and childhood eyes are red, that their eyes change color during Bird Puberty.
And as for the jumbling in the Mistake- though I may have phrased a couple of things badly, I think what actually happens was clear (at least, clear to me, since I wrote the sub). I'll explain it. The Merthians had seen the Raveten, realized the war potential of avian-death-bringing, and tried a different, better way to use birds in killing things. Instead of ravens, however, they used crows. Before they could finish production, but after they had done some crow enchanting, some Obstarian soldiers captured the castle and the city, and were in the looting/plundering phase of conquering. They came into the lab, saw the crows, and saw the killing of the Sciremagus. The Merthians didn't want the invaders to discover incomplete data and facts about their Crows. And then came the fight scene, the escape of the crowd and the Ravens, and the mating of the two magic-mangled species.
All this scene was heavily influenced by real world history. WWII. The Germans were researching quantum mechanics (because the atom bomb was based on Einstein's theories, and Einstein was a Jew. Also, quantum mechanics was based on German-aka superior- research) to get a super weapon, as the Americans did with the Manhattan Project. When Germany lost, they killed all their scientists and destroyed the data before the Allies (Russia, America, England, France) could grab it. A last laugh, so to speak. Which is what the Merthian's did- before the cursed invaders could take their crow data, they stabbed the researcher who knew everything, and (though it wasn't actually mentioned) destroyed the data.
Hmmm... Now I have two questions for you, axelrowes: was this helpful, and could you have possibly gotten any of this in the sub? Minus the stuff about Nazi Germany, quantum mechanics, and dead scientists. Go to Comment
Yeah, the references to Merthians and Obstarians would be confusing to the uninitiated. If you follow the link in the sub to Atheus, then you can see a map, as well as a link to Atheus's history. Those two subs might make things clearer. Long story short: Taurians and Obstarians vs. Merthians and Kathians (I believe I mentioned Kathia at some point in this, and too lazy right now to go check). An in depth explanation to the fight is below in my reply to Axelrowes.
As for the Raveten getting food, I'll explain that in my reply to Dossta.
And, by the by, get well soon. If you're feeling the effects, that means the cold's almost over. Go to Comment