Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Clowns Gang
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (Area)
caesar193's comment on 2013-09-29 11:48 AM
Drug-addicted, psychopathic clowns slaughtering people? You are an evil, sick strolenite, Scrasamx. I, naturally, love it.

I especially love the suicide parties and the rape bit. Well, I don't love it, because its sick and evil, and in fact hate it... ah, you know what I mean.

The one improvement I can see is less pictures. You see, having so many pictures means I'm seeing at least one as I read, which means that I get a mental image of an evil clown grinning as he rapes and burns me to death.

Also, it might help if you add a line saying that it has graphic content. I don't mind it, but others might. Go to Comment
Daimon
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
caesar193's comment on 2013-10-01 01:40 PM
No, probably not. The demons and thus the daimons of Atheus have such bad experiences with humans that they probably wouldn't trust the human offering to send them back. Unless the human earned their trust somehow, the daimon would probably rather just use the human to fulfill its mission through eating the human, or whatever mission the daimon had.

Of course, there is always an exception to the rule, and some daimons might try to help the human so as to manipulate him to speed up your mission, or some others might just be naive.

Also, a human would probably rather just summon up a regular demon. That way, the demon can't betray you, or hinder your progress, or do otherwise but obey your orders. Go to Comment
Daimon
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
caesar193's comment on 2013-10-03 12:05 PM
Summoning demons is not the hardest thing in the world. I should probably write up a sub on it, but the basics are that you research a demon, find the summoning ritual, and enact it. You do have to make sure your orders and such aren't too vague or have loopholes, and mistakes result in death usually, but for the most part the demon does your bidding, as there is a subclass of spells in the telemancy for punishing and controlling rebellious demons. The Daimons are mostly the exception, rather than the rule, as though a mistake can result anywhere in a summons, if a modicum of effort is put in, then usually the results will be good.

And as for the evil thing, there is forgiveness. Demons aren't evil, there simply enslaved and want to not be. And as the demon isn't of Atheus, they simply view humans as not them, and, really, far-less deserving of life then they are (which is true of the Atheians when they view demons). This is like a human not really caring if a stranger human dies in comparison to a loved one, just on a higher scale, as the stranger dying is not only not human, but also not of your world.

And sure, some banshees can scream. Some may choose not to, some do. The majority probably do, as I did steal the name from a screaming monster thing and some similarities need to remain, but variability is still present. Go to Comment
Operation Slander
Plots  (Hired)   (Multi-Storyline)
caesar193's comment on 2013-09-28 05:46 AM
I belive you changed the british diplomat's name from George Harrison to George Hardings. Unless they're different people, in which case I would like some more info on this Hardings character.

Beisides that, this seems like an excellent mission for the PCs. An evil newspaper type trying to sell your Agency's secrets but is really one of your ostensible allies, etc.

The one thing that I can see that could be improved on is the stat piece. I don't mind stats, as they are somewhat useful in getting a broad idea of how you want this guy portrayed, but in a couple of places (like door hardness) you forgo describing how tough the door is with words and simply say HP: 30. As I said, stats are fine by me, but I would like words to tell what the stats do.

Also, though I took a guess and said it was GURPS as you"'ve used it before, I believe it may be helpful to other people to start it off by saying something like "all stats use the GURPS system" or whichever one it really is. Go to Comment
Winter's Gem
Items  (Jewelry)   (Sentient)
caesar193's comment on 2014-02-10 12:44 PM
The narrative is excellent. I can only, sadly, echo those before me, except for this: why didn't I vote on this before? Go to Comment
Refuge Beneath the Waves
Locations  (Regional)   (Water)
caesar193's comment on 2013-09-10 01:55 PM
How did they weaponize the Kalleum? I may have missed it, but I'm fairly sure that you went from saying how helpful it is to discussing bloated corpses and how Kalleum was in the air. I guess I'd just like a paragraph saying that the government did X, Y, and Z to kalleum, and it now kills people because of A, B, and C.

Other than that, my other question lies in why its still dangerous to hang around up on the surface. It would seem to me that the Kalleum would eventually de-weaponize or go inert somehow. I'm not sure how that would occur, given my first question, but as it was made by man, it'll eventually crumble, or the amounts of it in the atmosphere would lower enough that travel on the surface would be safe.

But it was good. Well-thought out, well-formatted, etc. 4/5 Go to Comment
Zombie Servants of the Ch'thra
Plots  (Crisis)   (Campaign)
caesar193's comment on 2013-09-10 07:27 PM
I almost agree with Val on this one. The zombie apocalypse is only surmountable because mankind can out-think it, and thus win. If you've got some intelligent, magic-wielding, worm-things controlling the zombies, then humanity's chances plummet. Still, humanity always has a chance, especially when you use guerrilla warfare on the Ch'thra, and make them too frustrated and annoyed to stay.

Some ways to help alleviate the problem (and also add some nice moral quandries for the players) would be to have various vying factions. Earth's highly segmented into various countries- why not the Ch'thra's home world? You could have the PCs form a truce with the Ch'thra of one city(ies) to deal a significant blow against the Ch'thra's rival. Should (or can) the PCs trust someone who is actively controlling humanity and is a part of the force invading Earth? Or you could have some Ch'thra against the idea of invading another world, and will actively struggle with you against the other Ch'thra. Are these friendly Ch'thra no more than spies sent by the enemy, seeing as we know of the thralls and have our own tests for them?

Still, the idea is great, and helps solve several of the problems with the typical zombie apocalypse. Good job. Go to Comment
Congeria
Locations  (World)   (Any)
caesar193's comment on 2013-09-05 07:25 PM
When a demon gets killed (which would be in Atheus, because a demon would only kill another demon unless their master said to), then their soul will go to the Afterlife, and probably get a streamlined "processing" and be quickly sent to Congeria to be redemonized. The makeup of the demon would change, as would its name (which would prevent wizards in Atheus from getting their demon killed, then re-summoning it- not that they'd want to, because the strengths and weaknesses and its characteristics would probably change).

If it is simply dismissed back to Congeria (they can't leave willingly), then they go back to Congeria. They'll probably be re-summoned soon by the wizard, and they won't change at all (except for their magical batteries being recharged, and going back to as they were when they were "fresh.") Go to Comment
Congeria
Locations  (World)   (Any)
caesar193's comment on 2014-01-26 11:19 AM
Barathra is the Afterlife. I wrote up Congeria before i had any intention of writing up Barathra, so I'll change the name Afterlife to Barathra now. Anyway, basically souls get created in Atheus, and then go to Barathra. Those souls that display enough resourcefulness and desperation to get to the center of Barathra get transported and processed and come to Congeria, where they become demons, and get summoned to Atheus to serve wizards as, basically, slaves. Go to Comment
Sila'Khrysath - The Great Sand Wyrm.
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Desert)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-21 11:54 AM
An elemental dragon that is occasionally sent to destroy a city, which welcomes the attack? Great job, SE. All of it is great, the origins, the mechanics (the battery fits well into a beast made out of sand and obsidian), its societal role.

Sila'Krysath is an excellent elemental, and very original take on the dragon. So now, as I ponder it, Four questions come to mind: how big are the deserts to contain these beasts? Do they require food, besides sand for their sand-spitting attack? How to the merchants feel about them, with both the attack on Bareka and the dragons wandering around the desert with merchant caravans? Do these dragons have lairs, or have a need for sleep?

I could tack on a fifth question about the typical draconic lust for treasure, but I'd assume God's pet and the elemental of the desert would not need treasure. Besides, from what I gather from the Ouzquin Dremorix, treasure is mainly glass, and that would be too fragile for transport by a dragon.

If this site offered the ability to give 4.75, I'd give it too you, but since it doesn't, and I have a policy of rounding down on votes, I bestow on you a 4.5. Go to Comment
Jacob Latris
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-21 12:26 PM
After Jacob's father was killed, he mourned, and had dark thoughts of Vengeance. The killing affected Jacob mentally, and changed his personality. And besides, demon-summoning isn't evil, its simply a controversial political issue, like gun control. I'll explain Demons in an upcoming sub. Jacob saw Luitger, realized what he wanted, decided that Demonology was the way to achieve it, and then went for it.

Ralf was the victim of Jacob's growing insanity. Jacob had been alone for years, with only demons for company. Its understandable that he started going insane. And when Ralf arrived, the day after Jacob made his discovery, well, he was just unlucky. Jacob latched onto the slightly unrational idea that Ralf had come to take his discovery of a spell to another realms by force. After all, he had brought along guards. Or, if Ralf revealed to the world that Jacob had discovered this spell, wizards would be constantly coming and trying to find out his spell, which would distract him from his research. Either way was not acceptable. Jacob, not knowing what Ralf's actual intentions were, made an assumption, and acted upon it.

And yes, I understand how Luitger's death could seem abrupt. And it was. Jacob went down to Luitger to end his apprenticeship, and Luitger didn't want that, for the reasons you quoted. Luitger demanded that Jacob stay, and the two argued. Then one of them, with their emotions high and both angry, made a move that might have seemed like an attack, and thus the fight started. It was a crime of passion, a manslaughter. And since Jacob was the better of the two, he was the one who left. Go to Comment
The Prophet John
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-12 09:46 PM
http://strolen.com/guild/index.php/topic,6216.0.html

And can you not put your awe at new site features in my subs? I'd rather comments be about how awesome of a writer I am and how great my work is than about the Table of Contents. Go to Comment
The Prophet John
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-13 10:57 PM
Close, but, as they say, no cigar.

I wasn't actually going for Jesus, though I do see how he could be thought of that way. I was actually going for the Prophet John's namesake (John the Baptist, Jesus's forerunner) more than I was Jesus. And, of course, Malcolm X with the death bit, and the public speaking, religion, birth (as in, the Prophet John, as people know him, has no past that bears any importance to the man of the present. Like Malcolm X), convincing, charitable, and furthering his cause. Of course, the wandering thing is a good similarity to Jesus, and was, somewhat, intentional. Go to Comment
The Prophet John
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-13 11:11 PM
First off, let me make something perfectly clear. He didn't convert an entire continent. What he did was convert one country, bring another near to the conversion line, and instill confidence into a religion. Lunism then, on its own, either spread into other cities or increased its numbers in them.

And two, they don't convert immediately, and Trianarianism isn't running around blatantly. You'd get a crappy reputation. Except for the instances where they do try to kill the Prophet John, they go about ruining the other religions and increasing their converts stealthy. If the religion is seen as dangerous to the people, the kingdoms will ban it, and how would that help Trianarianism?

And three, you raise some very good points. And I will act on those points. You know. Eventually. Probably (hopefully) tomorrow. Go to Comment
The Prophet John
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-14 12:40 PM
Update: Added another section. I think it makes the Prophet John just a little more interesting, with a little more depth of character. Go to Comment
Organic Memory Core
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-10 11:23 AM
YES.

Brains in a jar so that people can watch their porns and live comfortably is a wonderful idea. I love how you tease us with the "the Secret" section, which not only hooked me in, but wrapped me in a variety of nets and chains to land my metaphorical fish body.

Though I am curious how one could program a brain, I assume that you could with sufficient technology and enough hand-waving and techno-babble done on your part. Go to Comment
The Circle of Culthus
Locations  (Area)   (Forest/ Jungle)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-04 07:37 PM
In Atheus, and I'll probably write a sub about it eventually, demons abide in another realm. They don't want to come here (except for the occasionaly wackado, but you get that with any race), but they do, because the wizards (especially the human ones) summon them and force them to do their bidding. Think of demons as slaves that can cast spells and stuff.

Anyway, Culthus is the typical demon. He doesn't like being enslaved, and knows the rest of the demons don't like it either. So once he frees himself, but isn't able for some reason to go back home, he goes off trying to free the rest of his buddies from their wizard overlords. Wizards don't like it, they trap him in a stone circle, and wander off.

So Culthus believes that freeing himself can be achieved by getting a lackey to make a cult and sacrifice stuff on the pedestal he's caged in. If he is freed, then he'll either return to his home land, or he might have gone insane during his imprisonment and wants to kill everyone. Its really the DM's call.

And Culthas doesn't so much strike the Circle from history as he makes everyone forget about it before they can write it down. Military expeditions don't make a habit of taking around scholars to record their exploits. They generally wait till after the combat and ask the participants a bunch of questions. Only in this case no one remembers the answers. Culthas prefers this state of being as it prevents the country from keeping those he'd exploit away. Go to Comment
Vitralara, the Mongrelmen
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (City/ Ruin)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-04 04:53 PM
The level of detail for this race is great, and I like their backstory, and how they go insane after a bit. Though I think they shouldn't be a different species technically, since they have no desire to procreate, they are a nice upgrade of the simplistic Mongrelmen you describe at the end. Go to Comment
Dorgen's Hammer
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-04 05:05 PM
The ability seems kind of weak to me, and slightly un-dwarfy. Yes, you could do the double-tap thing, which would double the damage, but while your doing that your opponent is wailing on you. I'd think a dwarf would prefer a straightforward device that provides a more tangible reward for waiting. Perhaps the power of your strike increases the longer you wait to release the magic. Or that maybe it allows a strike that would happen in the future happen know (flip-flopping what's happening know, with applying the rune, then activating the rune). I don't know how that would work (actually, I do have an idea, but it would take to long to describe it for a comment), but it would be kind of cool.

Anyways, my question is this: did you see the picture, then write a sub about its cool features, or did you write a sub about a hammer, then find a picture that was of something similar to what you had in mind? Go to Comment
The Crossroads
Locations  (Area)   (Any)
caesar193's comment on 2013-08-04 05:29 PM
I like the gruff guy. Like SE, I feel an explanation would ruin things. And to counter Val's point, perhaps it would be better to have a couple of NPCs along who are unimportant enough and greedy enough to run ahead, take all the gold (unless a certain PC is fast enough and stupid enough to compete), and then die miserably. Go to Comment
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