Pretty much all of the above. To avoid repeating all of them, I won't talk about the backstory. Maybe you could add something to the stats, if you don't end up deleting them entirely. Maybe say which system you used, or maybe translate it to other systems? Like say that it provides a lot of hit points. But you could throw the stats into the backstory in a creative way. Like for example, describe how Averemarn (sorry if I mangled the name) was badly wounded the next battle but found his wounds closing, and how the demonic forces looked on the magic in fear and fled.
Right now, I'll give you a 2/5. I'll relook and revote if you edit it. Go to Comment
I wouldn't mind you writing micro stories about Atheus at all. Well, I'd like it if you PMed me the details of a potential sub you had in mind, so that I could tell you if this part makes sense according to my vision of this place. But go right ahead.
And about the "something I know you excel at" you mentioned? Why, thank you most kindly, sir. I am quite honored.
Vignettes (thank The Lord for online dictionaries!) coming right up! As soon as I find my brain. Go to Comment
Half-caste races? Like half-elves and and dwarf-orcs?
They don't exist. Elves and dwarves and humans and the others are different species and cannot interbreed.
And for the human thing- it is human against the world, yes, but that doesn't mean the rest of the world likes each other. Elves and dwarves and goblins and orcs still have wars between each other, and the chances of them stabilizing would be exceedingly low. Unless, of course, a particularly charismatic chief came around... Go to Comment
Humanity didn't exile unwanted elements from the eastern side of Atheus all at once. They did it in bits and pieces. First, they gathered all the humans on one side of the line, and next they either attacked and captured or simply convinced all the other races into getting to the west. As the humans could block transfer of information from various spots on the map, or at least could do a decent job of blocking, none of the other races knew that they were being gotten rid of until the remaining tribes in the east were too weak collectively and too widely spread to be able to make a concerted resistance. When the east was finally in a state that was acceptable to the humans, they decided to make that year the start of the calendar.
And as for the barbarians overwhelming the humans, yes, I suppose that is a possibility. But they aren't organized enough to do so. Yes, they do raid, but the tribes are spread out over the entire western half.The tribes spread out when the land was still plentiful, and as everyone assumed that there would be some more food further west, there wasn't much fighting in the early years. When the entire western half was colonized, food sources started drying up, and that was when the fighting started. Sure, the tribes who reasonably could raid and attack the humans did so, but there was too much chaos and destruction of civilization in the west that organized attacks on the humans proved impossible. Go to Comment
Did you get that cake line from Marie Antoinette? I liked all of this. The pics adds the entire thing. Did you design the Lego tank yourself, or was it with instructions? But now, I just can't help but wonder about the weapon that's being built in the Inuksuk arco that Brian and the rest of the party are exploring, and pondering tanks...
Solid suggestions, Forganthus, and I'll put some of them in there I think that I'll put some extra bits in their to make him more interesting. And no, he doesnt't have to be an orphan, I just am him one to give him more freedom to hang with the knights. I'm thinking now of making him a runaway, who joined a gang and became a thief. And now, since the knights rejected him, he's regressed into his old way of thinking- which would help with his plot.
And as for something unexpected- hmm. I'll get back to you on that one. Go to Comment
She has heard of some compound or book or something that can cure (or perhaps regenerate her soul slightly) her of zombiism. She wants the PCs to go get it.
Anyways, I like them. Adds good details to Mother Monster.
And now for advice...
I think what you have is good. All I'd say you'd need is a plot hook for iseabal, to continue the pattern. I have that one idea, which I just gave, so if you want, go use it. You should probably add a couple more details, though. Go to Comment
Maddux Systems (Geological/ Geographical)
Nice idea. Nice organization. Maybe I should steal this idea for my own land of Hypoten (with a slight variation, of course. Perhaps Sylvia would be a good place for it?) because your land is geographically near my land. Anyway, I enjoyed the backstory of the coining of the term maddux Go to Comment
The multiple separate histories, written by the different people, was a great method. I especially like how the difference in perspective changed from the warkra just being a pest to explaining their side.
On the subject of Warkra, I personally think that they are too innocent. You have made them a society that does not hate, or have enemies. I think that any human culture is going to have some degree of competition. And competition spawns rivalries, which spawn enemies. And, if they were living on the four small islands, they'd probably not meet the people on the northern one. But this is a detail, and I won't mark you down for it.
Other than that, it had all the classic elements of excellence: depressed gods, a hard won miracle, and islands who just hate gray hairs. Good job, Axelrowes. Go to Comment
I agree with Dossta. This is missing something, I just don't know what.
Moving on to the technical.
You say they raise elephants. If by raise you mean they threw a bunch of elephants int the wild and now take them, then yes, it would be possible. My only concern then would be the elephants getting enough food. But if by raise you mean domesticate, as in raise like cattle or horses, then it is impossible. Humans have been trying for thousands of years. If it could be done, Carthage and India and all the other elephant-containing areas in history would have done so. After all, a domesticated elephant would be far better in military- better control over the beast, less likely to go on a pain-driven rampage killing your own guys, etc. Frankly, they gnomes could not raise elephants like livestock.
Also- molten salt batteries? I like how you used a byproduct to help the process that created the byproduct in the first place, but if we could have molten salt batteries, that were powerful enough to be competitive on the global (or universal) markets, we would be using them. I am not a chemist, so I don't know how feasible the idea is, but I feel the only way you could use the salt as a power source is pouring it through a turbine, like hydro-power.
Moving on to the good stuff
I do like how these gnomes managed to turn a hostile world into a top producer of food. They are productive little chaps, arean't they? Anyways, as a said in the salt but, I like how byproducts were used to drive the process.
Ooh! Here's my question: how did the gnomes turn the deserts/dry plains into fertile farmland?
Anyway, I like this, but there are some technical issues. Go to Comment
If the gnomes played with the genes of the elephants to make it possible to raise them, then they wouldn't have elephants any more, would they? They'd have something that looked like elephants, sure, but not actual elephants. Also, we have had plenty of time to domesticate elephants, and all we've managed to do is go into the wild, tame them, and bring them back home. Elephants are simply impossible to domesticate. If you want me to quote non-fiction books at you, I will. Go to Comment