Father Titus is an interesting fellow. Though I personally would like to know more about his origins (how he got that sword, for example, for I presume such relics are not standard issue), as well as how he got a angelic companion to go hunt some undead with, I presume that this is intentional to create a mysterious guy that kills vampires for a living.
He seems to me to be a tad weak, though. In a world where the vampire- and if its the classical vampire, superfast, the vampire can retreat to an open plain, wait for Titus to show up, then take potshots with a sniper rifle before Titus gets within sword-throwing range. Unless I missed his ballistic vest or his excellent bullet-dodging ability, any vampire with a brain (which you make it sound his usual targets are) can easily take him out. The combat would need to be on some battlefied that favors melee (like the vampire's office or something) for Titus to have a chance of taking out his target. I know he has training with firearms and could bring with him an assault rifle, but I didn't get the impression that he took firearms with him. Go to Comment
This is very well written for an oekaki. Cudos for that. They do seem kind of bland, even with the supernatural influence/secret. I can see some ways to use them, however, though I'm unlikely to (prefer fantasy to modern stuff). Of course, they are support characters, so...
Update: I'm not sure if this belongs in the Tattoo Quest. I put it in mainly because the tattooing bit inspired the rest of the Reposian culture. If you feel that it doesn't belong among the quest subs, than I'll be more than happy to remove it. Go to Comment
Looting? I had not actually thought of that. I don't think that the city would appreciate it, and would actively try to stop it, though only quietly and stealthily and normally. Like having someone learn about stealing, and then the "city-dwellers" decide that the best course of action would be returning the gold. Or having someone quietly steal the gold from the PCs in the middle of the night.
Of course, as the city is mostly made of desire, and is powered by magic from souls, the gold would probably revert to being some worthless substance, maybe stone or a collection of pebbles or something. Go to Comment
If its an oekaki, it should have the oekaki freetext. So that people know going in what to expect. Other than that, a good idea. I agree with SE on the bestiary of dangers within the bibliorynth bit. Go to Comment
Let me see if I have this right. You enter at one point of the sphere, and you exit at the opposite point by following the diameter.
What would happen if you entered from the top? Say you skydived and hit the top- would you suddenly find yourself encapsulated in rock? And would, if the earth level is higher at one side of the circle then the other, find yourself with your feet stuck in dirt at the other end?
I liked the bit with the volunteers, and how they might have died off- were they paid, or otherwise induced, to volunteer, or were they forced to do it, and then someone doctored the history books? It may just be me, but I wouldn't feel you'd get many volunteers for such a dangerous task without a reward. Go to Comment
Though I'm not entirely sure that quicksand works that way, I'm willing to let it slide because of the mental image you have created. The various additional details to this just tops off the sub. Go to Comment
The main thing I don't understand are twofold. The first is why no one has conquered it. It seems to me that a city run by four gangs wouldn't have a very strong military to defend the city, or would be very capable of recruiting from the populace to serve as a military. I suppose they could rely on mercenaries, but then you run the risk of them betraying you (gold doesn't motivate people to not run away as well as patriotism and nationalism). Does the City enter a series of alliances and trade agreements with other cities to gain protections, and who organizes these diplomacy policies?
My second inquiry is about the populace. It seems to me that the benefits of living in a city pale besides being the equivalent of being a deer during hunting season. They can be constantly abused by the guilds, and have no laws or government to protect them. As you said, the only thing keeping them from just slaughtering people is blood ties, which leads to another question: why haven't blood feuds and guild feuds torn the city apart? There has to be some sort of glue to keep things from falling apart.
Other than this, I felt that it was highly original. Though I may appreciate more details and flavor text, the idea of a City of naught but crime shone through and proved a hint of excellence. Great job. Go to Comment
Drug-addicted, psychopathic clowns slaughtering people? You are an evil, sick strolenite, Scrasamx. I, naturally, love it.
I especially love the suicide parties and the rape bit. Well, I don't love it, because its sick and evil, and in fact hate it... ah, you know what I mean.
The one improvement I can see is less pictures. You see, having so many pictures means I'm seeing at least one as I read, which means that I get a mental image of an evil clown grinning as he rapes and burns me to death.
Also, it might help if you add a line saying that it has graphic content. I don't mind it, but others might. Go to Comment
No, probably not. The demons and thus the daimons of Atheus have such bad experiences with humans that they probably wouldn't trust the human offering to send them back. Unless the human earned their trust somehow, the daimon would probably rather just use the human to fulfill its mission through eating the human, or whatever mission the daimon had.
Of course, there is always an exception to the rule, and some daimons might try to help the human so as to manipulate him to speed up your mission, or some others might just be naive.
Also, a human would probably rather just summon up a regular demon. That way, the demon can't betray you, or hinder your progress, or do otherwise but obey your orders. Go to Comment
Summoning demons is not the hardest thing in the world. I should probably write up a sub on it, but the basics are that you research a demon, find the summoning ritual, and enact it. You do have to make sure your orders and such aren't too vague or have loopholes, and mistakes result in death usually, but for the most part the demon does your bidding, as there is a subclass of spells in the telemancy for punishing and controlling rebellious demons. The Daimons are mostly the exception, rather than the rule, as though a mistake can result anywhere in a summons, if a modicum of effort is put in, then usually the results will be good.
And as for the evil thing, there is forgiveness. Demons aren't evil, there simply enslaved and want to not be. And as the demon isn't of Atheus, they simply view humans as not them, and, really, far-less deserving of life then they are (which is true of the Atheians when they view demons). This is like a human not really caring if a stranger human dies in comparison to a loved one, just on a higher scale, as the stranger dying is not only not human, but also not of your world.
And sure, some banshees can scream. Some may choose not to, some do. The majority probably do, as I did steal the name from a screaming monster thing and some similarities need to remain, but variability is still present. Go to Comment
I belive you changed the british diplomat's name from George Harrison to George Hardings. Unless they're different people, in which case I would like some more info on this Hardings character.
Beisides that, this seems like an excellent mission for the PCs. An evil newspaper type trying to sell your Agency's secrets but is really one of your ostensible allies, etc.
The one thing that I can see that could be improved on is the stat piece. I don't mind stats, as they are somewhat useful in getting a broad idea of how you want this guy portrayed, but in a couple of places (like door hardness) you forgo describing how tough the door is with words and simply say HP: 30. As I said, stats are fine by me, but I would like words to tell what the stats do.
Also, though I took a guess and said it was GURPS as you"'ve used it before, I believe it may be helpful to other people to start it off by saying something like "all stats use the GURPS system" or whichever one it really is. Go to Comment
How did they weaponize the Kalleum? I may have missed it, but I'm fairly sure that you went from saying how helpful it is to discussing bloated corpses and how Kalleum was in the air. I guess I'd just like a paragraph saying that the government did X, Y, and Z to kalleum, and it now kills people because of A, B, and C.
Other than that, my other question lies in why its still dangerous to hang around up on the surface. It would seem to me that the Kalleum would eventually de-weaponize or go inert somehow. I'm not sure how that would occur, given my first question, but as it was made by man, it'll eventually crumble, or the amounts of it in the atmosphere would lower enough that travel on the surface would be safe.
But it was good. Well-thought out, well-formatted, etc. 4/5 Go to Comment
I almost agree with Val on this one. The zombie apocalypse is only surmountable because mankind can out-think it, and thus win. If you've got some intelligent, magic-wielding, worm-things controlling the zombies, then humanity's chances plummet. Still, humanity always has a chance, especially when you use guerrilla warfare on the Ch'thra, and make them too frustrated and annoyed to stay.
Some ways to help alleviate the problem (and also add some nice moral quandries for the players) would be to have various vying factions. Earth's highly segmented into various countries- why not the Ch'thra's home world? You could have the PCs form a truce with the Ch'thra of one city(ies) to deal a significant blow against the Ch'thra's rival. Should (or can) the PCs trust someone who is actively controlling humanity and is a part of the force invading Earth? Or you could have some Ch'thra against the idea of invading another world, and will actively struggle with you against the other Ch'thra. Are these friendly Ch'thra no more than spies sent by the enemy, seeing as we know of the thralls and have our own tests for them?
Still, the idea is great, and helps solve several of the problems with the typical zombie apocalypse. Good job. Go to Comment
When a demon gets killed (which would be in Atheus, because a demon would only kill another demon unless their master said to), then their soul will go to the Afterlife, and probably get a streamlined "processing" and be quickly sent to Congeria to be redemonized. The makeup of the demon would change, as would its name (which would prevent wizards in Atheus from getting their demon killed, then re-summoning it- not that they'd want to, because the strengths and weaknesses and its characteristics would probably change).
If it is simply dismissed back to Congeria (they can't leave willingly), then they go back to Congeria. They'll probably be re-summoned soon by the wizard, and they won't change at all (except for their magical batteries being recharged, and going back to as they were when they were "fresh.") Go to Comment
An elemental dragon that is occasionally sent to destroy a city, which welcomes the attack? Great job, SE. All of it is great, the origins, the mechanics (the battery fits well into a beast made out of sand and obsidian), its societal role.
Sila'Krysath is an excellent elemental, and very original take on the dragon. So now, as I ponder it, Four questions come to mind: how big are the deserts to contain these beasts? Do they require food, besides sand for their sand-spitting attack? How to the merchants feel about them, with both the attack on Bareka and the dragons wandering around the desert with merchant caravans? Do these dragons have lairs, or have a need for sleep?
I could tack on a fifth question about the typical draconic lust for treasure, but I'd assume God's pet and the elemental of the desert would not need treasure. Besides, from what I gather from the Ouzquin Dremorix, treasure is mainly glass, and that would be too fragile for transport by a dragon.
If this site offered the ability to give 4.75, I'd give it too you, but since it doesn't, and I have a policy of rounding down on votes, I bestow on you a 4.5. Go to Comment
After Jacob's father was killed, he mourned, and had dark thoughts of Vengeance. The killing affected Jacob mentally, and changed his personality. And besides, demon-summoning isn't evil, its simply a controversial political issue, like gun control. I'll explain Demons in an upcoming sub. Jacob saw Luitger, realized what he wanted, decided that Demonology was the way to achieve it, and then went for it.
Ralf was the victim of Jacob's growing insanity. Jacob had been alone for years, with only demons for company. Its understandable that he started going insane. And when Ralf arrived, the day after Jacob made his discovery, well, he was just unlucky. Jacob latched onto the slightly unrational idea that Ralf had come to take his discovery of a spell to another realms by force. After all, he had brought along guards. Or, if Ralf revealed to the world that Jacob had discovered this spell, wizards would be constantly coming and trying to find out his spell, which would distract him from his research. Either way was not acceptable. Jacob, not knowing what Ralf's actual intentions were, made an assumption, and acted upon it.
And yes, I understand how Luitger's death could seem abrupt. And it was. Jacob went down to Luitger to end his apprenticeship, and Luitger didn't want that, for the reasons you quoted. Luitger demanded that Jacob stay, and the two argued. Then one of them, with their emotions high and both angry, made a move that might have seemed like an attack, and thus the fight started. It was a crime of passion, a manslaughter. And since Jacob was the better of the two, he was the one who left. Go to Comment