I was going to do that, but it would kind of be unfair to the PCs. They'd be trekking through some bog, and then suddenly they flee, raving about conspiracy theories and barbarians. And, naturally, there'd be a bunch of monsters in the swamp waiting to kill of lonely PCs. As well as Will o Wisps, that lure PCs to particularly dangerous areas because the PC thinks that light is his buddies' lantern. And all the other brilliant things a typical DM can do to make the PC's lives interesting.
Then again... I'll consider throwing in a mention of using either lethargy or fear. Maybe I'll change it to an increased interest in finding some Friar's Weed to spread the pollen around. Go to Comment
Update: I seem to be slightly lost physically, mentally, and emotionally on where I was going on this one. I've been updating it every so often in the segments as shown above. I kind of wanted to make the Raveten more... creepy. Strange. Terrifying. Something more for something that blows up corpses. So, yeah, here it is. The oh-most-beautiful Raveten. Don't give it a corpse. Go to Comment
The Ravetens eyes are black in adulthood. As an infant, their bloodshot. And as for the other phyical changes you suggested, well, I wanted to make it look like a Raven, with a few "tells." Like the silent thing. Go to Comment
As I said, I'm lost on this one physically, mentally, and emotionally. I guess I just don't know what I want with the Raveten. It's just that when I imagine it, I see a regular raven, but twisted slightly. Something... Off about it.
On a side note, what about exploding corpses is not strange or terrifying? Is it normal for the corpse on display on a funeral to suddenly send bone fragments and brain chunks flying at those attending? Is the sight of your buddy's corpse suddenly covering your face, and as you look down at where his corpse used to be you see a regular raven *not* terrifying? Go to Comment
A great expansion of Scrasamax's Gems. Very useful. I could easily see the typical servant of Hell sidling up to someone and saying something along the lines of "Havin' problems with the ladies, eh? Well, I've got this spear that might help you with that... it'll cost you, though..."
Overall, it was good. Good items, though I do agree with Dossta. You should probably keep you item's gemstone order the same as the way Scrasamax had his. Or convince Scrasamax to have the both of you go alphabetical order or something. Go to Comment
These plants are obviously the attempt of a god to loosen the hold of the demons on this place. And some other, darker group has destroyed the plants, and have convinced the PCs to help get rid of the rest of the plants over the rest of the world.
Or something like that. Anyways, nice job with these weird plants. I'll bet the magi who pay well for the flowers are going to be slightly upset with people who sold it to them (cough cough PCs cough cough) when they disappear without a trace. Go to Comment
Are you kidding me? I loved these guys. And I thought I had said that in my comment (I'm too lazy to scroll up right now and check). But yeah, I'll devote on these guys. I've relooked, and realized my point was moot. Go to Comment
I like the idea of a crazy cult involved with various activities, but right now it seems too chaotic. They seem to be involved with too many activities. They worship death, and they also have crazy drugs, and they also have pleasure mages, and they also enjoy killing things... I would, if I were you, rework it to have one of these things be the overarching theme, and everything else fall under that, and take a lesser importance too that.
I also have a problem with the idea of a drug filled cult member being able to go out and successfully kill a person.
Other than that, it ws a well fleshed out idea. I enjoyed the list of stuff that might happen at their parties. It gives the reader a good understanding of how crazy these people are. Go to Comment
I liked the descriptions of the magic and the locations. I do, however, think that the races themselves could use a bit of culture description. The basics, though, some unifying theme that make the elves more than longer lived humans. Do the elves have a blood-letting ritual every full moon based on the half-forgotten superstition of the Blood Demons who need nourishment lest they seek it out violently? Do the Choca have a universally celebrated sport that eerily resembles the sport that Americans call soccer, and the Europeans call Football? Do the Dwarves enjoy chariot racing with giant lizards (that have a useful habit of clawing fellow giant lizards)? I realize each group of each race is going to be different, since geographically isolated peoples are going to develop habits and phrases that other groups of the same race don't, but there would probably be some basic, underlying similarities or themes. Go to Comment
Nice take on the Flowers. I liked how they were used to help Kensu, and how the monsters in this case was a killer. Though I think you should mention how both Kensu and the little girl (and as many other people as you feel necessary) worship the great god caesar193, I won't detract points for this omission. But still, bonus points for twisting the Flowers into an escape aid. Go to Comment
Another idea I had for these is their drug potential. If you want, it could be possible to chew or smoke or whatever these. It would give the person a massive high, while reverting them to more childish thoughts. Naturally, because they can only be found in dangerous, monster infested ruins, they would be quite expensive. A little reward for the PCs who survive they're experience with the Flowers of Innocence Go to Comment
May I direct your attention to the Oekaki free text? Oekaki is where you do a piece in 30 minutes. So, yes, you could say it was "rushed a little." If you follow the free text, you'll find the sub where Scrasamax explains Oekaki better than I could in a petty comment.
Anyways, if at some point in the future the idea of the flowers is proven to be good enough, I'll go through and exterminate typos and badly phrased sentences with extreme prejudice. Go to Comment
Wait a second... I inspired fanfic??? With a badly-logiced, badly-rationalized oekaki? I am honored. I shall have to go parse this fanfic as a god examines the petty lives of the mortals striving to gain a message that they are worthy of their very lives. I wonder whether this is how Stephanie Meyer feels like when she sees all the new vampire books and movies and etc. Go to Comment
Oh, the flowers can live in your forest glades and fey-homes. It's just that since they have the innocence is of them increased, that has to be balanced out by the dark side of them likewise being increased. And so, like a normal flower feeds on the nutrients of the decomposed dead to live, these flowers depend on sorrow and pain and blood to live. And yes, I just thought of that simile. Nothing of its form occured during the writing do this piece.
Anyways, because ruins tend to be places where some great calamity struck and caused the terror and fear and misery of thousands, the flowers like it there. The flowers thrive there. Go to Comment