The first paragraph is very good, but could use a little more polish. Which way are the doors facings? Do the runes mean anything? I don't know that it needs much more just few tweaks would make it smoother. Also when you launch into your backstory, it is right after you state that the ghost "speaks....". This could use more of a transition.
As to the concept itself, Have you played this out yet? I have run a couple of these repetative challenege rooms and found that players are less excited about these then more linear challenges. Each room feels like they are starting over. I am very curious as to how this challenge is recieved by other groups.
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Finally it does have a very classic (1st ed. DnD) feel, but I like that the challenges and consequneces are not just mechanic based. How do you plan to play out the slow lose of a moral compass?
This not just an excellent GM's tool but an excellent players tool as well. This amplify the traits of the character, as IF-J says some players have different instincts. This forces both the player and the GM to wonder what the character is thinking and then amplify the results. I wish you had written this years ago.
The Corran subs are true treasure of the Citadel. I have enjoyed everyone of them, thank you Ted. This one could use just a little buff and polish to really make the witty tone shine, but I enjoyed it all the same. However, usually Corran's creation have a little tick or quirk to them. These items, while the telling of the story is fun, the items themselves lack a Corran's typical pluck and eccentricity.
What if the items also got imbued with the cooks snobbery and will refuse to cook certain dishes or use lesser ingredients or combinations of ingredients.
Example: What if the pots refuse to open because you are trying to boil a fish.
Bethany: What is wrong with the lid to these pots? CORRAN DID YOU WELD THESE THINGS SHUT LIKE WITH THE TEAPOT?!?
Corran's Scribe who had been ideally taking notes in the kitchen passes Bethany a note as he can speak the unspoken language of Corran's items: Dearest Beth, The pot says that it is wrong to boil skate wings. He has talked to frying pan and he is completely ready, just place the wings in him about 8 minutes before it is time to serve,
Bethany: But my father loves fish stew, tell the pots just to make a stew, papa will be here in a few hour.s
CS: My Darling Bethany,
The Pot says you father will like the skate wings pan fried.
Bethany: My father hates the look of pan fried fish, he likes food he can slurp, beside he says fish tastes too strong when you don't stew it. *The Pot is now cold to the touch*
Oh Sweetest Beth,
The Pot and pan have agreed that your father is a tasteless philistine and he would be better off eating with the pigs, because they would not lower themselves to serve a man who does not appreciate fresh skate wings.
Longing for your touch,
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I can't believe I didn't vote on this. I read this when it came out a year ago, wrote up a whole adventure around it, I had pre-equal and other events associated with it. The style you took to the roleplaying wasn't/isn't really mine so I wasn't as warm to this piece as I have been to some of your others. I also agree with Echo in that it is a little too linear to be a GREAT adventure. Yet it should be an amuzing one. But anything that does what this did, inspires fan fiction, is really fantastic, this is funny. If I would suggest anything that hasn't already been said I would say play up the subversive anti-adventure feel to the whole piece, the straight line to success, the simple charactizations of the dragons, and the relatively few choices the players have make this much less of the satire it could be.
Again though just is case I am not clear, this is a really great write up in my book. -damn well formatted too, please help me with that if you ever get the tiem. I read it and wanted to make it my own. What more can you offer a gamer?
If Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman can do it why not a croc?
Solid idea and an amuzing one at that...might be a shark jumper for a campaign though...once the PC realize the GM is open to launching animals at each other as form of warfare things threaten to get all Monty Python on ya.