Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Death And Resurrection
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Defining)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-05 05:22 PM


Boomsauce :"Few doorways are opened to the spirit world and most like to keep it that way. When someone dies it is so brief and so quick, the opening of a gateway between both worlds, it seldom allows anything to sneak through. However, when someone is brought back from the dead, that doorway is open much longer and that extra time is all that is needed for something to find that opening and sneak back."



 



You had me right there, not a novel concept but as Pieh said "solid and detailed".  In fact I just echo Pieh's sentiments. 


Go to Comment
Thunderstone Door Trap
Dungeons  (Any)   (Doors)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-05 05:42 PM


maybe the thunderstone or the magical device that makes this really loud noise is what you need to write up and then you can go through and add varous uses for it like a thunderstone door trap.


Go to Comment
Thunderstone Door Trap
Dungeons  (Any)   (Doors)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-05 05:43 PM


Okay so I just saw that you wrote up thunderstones...


Go to Comment
Animated Doorknob
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Traps)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-03-03 10:35 AM
This would drive people crazy. Go to Comment
Mug of Blood
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-09 06:49 PM
Choo Mold
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Underground)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 06:20 AM
I like it, stuff like this really adds another angle to a dungeon crawl. Go to Comment
I'm Just A Singer ...
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-09-29 01:29 PM
This would be a tough one to run, a GM trying to seduce his players can amusing and awkward. (Seduction with dice alone just doesn't cut the mustard does it?) One way to play it would have the PCs not actually interact with him in game time. Yeah they can see him perform, they can even sleep with him, but the action always takes place right after he has put his boots back on, or when another player finds the same dedicated song recorded in their bunk mates media library as Gabe just "wrote" for them.

Nice Go to Comment
Xenith Industries
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Trans World)
axlerowes's comment on 2011-05-27 07:24 AM


Everything Siren said.


Go to Comment
Land of Lordor
Articles  (Fiction)   (Players)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-28 08:30 PM
The Good:
Some of the scenes are nicely painted and it is written with an energy that come through in the text.

Plus, this has the basic points of a classic story:

The story starts well enough with a damaged mage living in the ruins of his old school, surrounded by grief and filled with self doubt. He then makes a friend, and through this friendship he ventures out into the world. He begins living again, but he never truly deals with his grief or the loss of his old life. Our hero, Cortant, only moved away from physical trapping those emotions with his new friend. Then through a series of happenings he losses his new friend and this new grief become entangled with the old grief. However, this time Cortant learns that he has chance to save his friend. Cortant, can in a sense rewrite the events that have been haunting him for three years. By saving Orsk perhaps he sees it as a chance to undue the loss of his best friend (who wore three bracelets on his arm, but didn't have a name).

The Bad:

Summarizing this was like summarizing the plot to this story was like summarizing the plot to the phantom menace. It had to forgive a lot to find the plot. This story is marred by uneven descriptions, poorly defined character traits, irrational personalities, emotional arcs that nobody sane can relate with and terrible pacing. There are so many things wrong with this narrative that it would be exhausting to enumerate them all. I will chose a few examples,

The cute meet between the "resistance" and the heros is absurd. Orsk (a former dragon slayer, a fact that does not impress me with the dragons of lordor) steals fruit from a vendor, and then when a boy steals from him he chases the thief across town and engages a gang of thieves for no discern able reason. Is Orsk pursuing justice, or he is just angry. Cortant feels a bit of trepidation, but goes right into battle with Orsk. Cortant's magical talent appears to leave him as well and he takes on the roll of an archer and poor thief. The heros then have protracted escape from a cell, beat up a few more members of the resistance before being asked to lead the resistance's forces into battle by the leaders of the group of they attacked. Some things that could explain would be that Orsk is insane and obsessive. Orsk could also be a famous warrior, who happens to be insane, but the kind of insane you want leading a battle. Thus when the resistance, that has an important pick-pocketing arm to their efforts, learns they have the great Orsk in their custody they may decide to ask him to lead an attack. Maybe.

Second, the value of life seems to be really up in the air to these characters. They try to spare the thieves lives in the big underground fight but then slits the throats of the King's guards when they steal some boats.

I have read this several times since it was posted and decided I would finally post on it. I do hope you re-work it, there is a fun story here...somewhere. Go to Comment
Typhoon
Items  (SpaceShips)   (Campaign Defining)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-10-14 08:40 PM


I can recognize what is wrong with this write up and what needs to improved, but still I found something rather seductive about the energy the author used in describing the battle scene.  I could see in my mind the image of the author typing away all the while keeping thread of the battle in his mind. As the fighting gets more pitching the thumps and clicks of the typing become more frequent and frantic. SWEAT BEGINS TO DROP ON TO THE KEYBOARD, THEN THE TYPHOON IS SURROUNDed, ITS UNPOWERED HAUL SPEEDING TOWARDS THE PLANET SURFACE.   IT LOOKS LIKE ALL IS LOST. ENEMY SHIPS SURROUNDED THE CRIPPLED SHIP, WHICH NOW RESTS IN A MASSIVE CRATER.  BUT NO! THE RAPID DESCENT WAS PART OF THE CAPTAIN'S PLAN, THE TYPHOON FIREs ALL 200 SHORT RANGE ROCKETS AT ONCE. . .   



This has a very Japanaimie feel to it, in as much as it is a space ship that is indestructable, has legs and gets "lost" after a great battle. But Valadaar is right it needs a lot of work, but the spirit of fun is there, and we need more spaceship entries. 



 

Go to Comment
SuperFortress-01
Items  (Transports)   (Combat)
axlerowes's comment on 2011-10-15 02:22 PM


Roleplaying requires a shared false reality.  Everyone in the table buys into the reality created by the dice the stats and the GMs own twisted logic and view of human behavior.  (If it is not twisted then the guy is just running modules and using somebody elses on psuedo-logic).  Dropping one of these into your battletech campaign would shake the very fabric of the game universe.  It would really annoy those "simulator" players. Not a bad thing that. 



Could be fun.


Go to Comment
axlerowes's comment on 2012-01-27 05:06 PM


I think what is confusing some people here is that this appears to be very specific reference to the True Blood series and Suki Stackhouse books.  The Temple of the Sun is a organization in those books, and thus the christian references and pop culture references may be jarring to people who couldn't put into context.  But I found some of it funny, I also liked the references to Once Bitten.  A fun shameless piece of Fanboydom. 


Go to Comment
To Be A Decepticon
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-01-16 01:18 PM


What character do you imagine making this speech?



I have to imagine it is Star Scream. He is the only character obnoxious enough to start sentence with "Quite Simply".



I enjoyed this a nice piece of characterization and an interesting perspective to have when playing with one's toys.

Go to Comment
Baron Trotha
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-09-23 08:29 PM


This is solid.



But I would not be so quick to call this man a good guy. Sure he is motivated by a desire to see his black and white views of morality realized throughout the kingdom, but does that make him good or does that make him just another tyrant? This man is a murderer, a liar, and kidnapper who has no respect for the dignity of the people he condemns. Furthermore his murders are not visibly the result of any moral consequence. Thus Trotha's presence would scare the honest just as much as it does the dishonest, and furthermore why not report the crimes he is punishing to his king? I do not think this detracts for the piece, but rather this contradiction adds to it.



If I were to run this piece I would have the PC confront the Trotha once without knowing his identity. Three options; he bests them and spares them, they best him and he escapes but they get a hint of his true self or they are rescued by a "evil noble" or the princess. Second Trotha carries out another assassination, they stop or it or try to stop it but either way they learn that the target is a bad man and has bad associates. If they stop it they have to decide what to with the bad man. Third: They go confront Trotha again and on this trip they don't meet him directly but they encounter an item that they think will let them kill Trotha from a far without meeting him face to face and without bringing him to justice. Fourth: Go rescue the princess, find out she ain't so nice....what do they do with her? Fifth: Discover or are informed of Trotha ID and his mission.



Then what do they do, stop him from taking the princess again, help him take the princess, and do they let Trotha control the destiny of kingdom once the king is gone, which is his design? A good adventure should have both the PCs and DM surprised by the ending.

Go to Comment
Baron Trotha
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-09-24 03:35 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Baron Trotha
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-30 07:20 AM
101 Problems with my Spaceship
Systems  (Transportation)   (General)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-03-29 04:10 PM
damn cute list Go to Comment
Miros, the Devouring World
Locations  (World)   (Space)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-01-25 05:34 PM
Planet minds, I haven't seen that in a while.


I really liked this, I thought while it lacked personality specifics (aka the mind is described as nothing more than insane and the dead culture is glossed over), the tone and themes were well expressed by what I thought was very strong prose. The visuals and physical specifics of the planet are every well explained. Go to Comment
The Glades
Locations  (Establishment)   (Forest/ Jungle)
axlerowes's comment on 2011-05-03 03:55 PM


I thought the first few paragraph were very solid prose, not fancy or mind blowing but clear and illustrative.  Also I think this sort thing a "minor place" is exactly the kind of thing one might seek another's imagination in order to flesh out.   I like it all but it just sort of drift off into forgetable.  The flavor the place never really gets out in this write up.  You describe the place effectively, as if you have been there, but you don't take us there.


Go to Comment
The Glades
Locations  (Establishment)   (Forest/ Jungle)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-25 09:10 AM
Sorry I never answered your questions. As Valad suggests below, a write up of Lars could do it, but I would enjoy a slice of life blurb. But it is a nice solid post. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
1607

Join Now!!




Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2