Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Eye of Seenu
Items  (Jewelry)   (Sentient)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-09 09:00 PM
This really well done, reads like an encyclopedia entry, if an all knowing god wrote the encyclopedia....ah the citadel.

The idea that Gem has a personality and a goal is really interesting. I obviously didn't want to stay in the earth though, other wise why not just tell the miners to put it back? Did you imagine that it knows where it is going? What if it finds others of its kind? Could this type of mind control be how the ancient wars were once fought? How can it be destroyed? But I admire your choice to be purposefully vague and unclear about the nature of thing.

Also you jus sold a copy of Flynn's book. He should send you a commission. Go to Comment
The Belts of Parkour
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-08 04:53 PM
Nice item. Go to Comment
Adventures Beneath the Waves
Plots  (Crisis)   (Mini-Campaign)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-12 10:16 AM
well organized and well thought out...

lets just hope you have a bunch of pro-establishment PCs who don't mind working for the man. Go to Comment
Autons
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-04-16 05:17 PM
Good, you needed some robots with that classic sci-fi feel in the cosmic era.

I like the notable Autons Go to Comment
The Weeping Angel
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-08 05:01 PM
I would guess that he does. The attached picture has text links to the BBC and Dr. Who. Go to Comment
The Weeping Angel
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-08 05:10 PM
Very strong clear prose as far as I am concerned. I the drawback section though you seem to strike a very different tone and approach it with a very different perspective (second person) than the rest of the piece. It is a little jarring, and it sort of ruins the in game immersion of the piece in favor of game mechanics. Perhaps it call all be in a blockquote.

Good stuff, I like the plot idea of trying to fight a villain with this. Go to Comment
Gallinippers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Swamp)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-04-16 05:21 PM
This is really well done and nicely put together...as a list of facts about imaginary bugs...but I get it. Go to Comment
What's Come to the Fair?
Society/ Organizations  (Artistic/Performance)   (Regional)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-06 05:57 PM
Great ideas: a central concept and brain storm of hooks. While not the most subtle or inspiring prose, it is clear and direct which fits this sort idea buffet well. Nicely done, others should revisit. Go to Comment
7 Things about Lovecraftian Fiction
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-02-11 07:40 PM


I think this is a smart concise dissection of the genre. Insightful is a good word for it. But I think two things are left out that are very common to the genre.



1) I have noticed in Lovecraftian fiction that there is often a strong emotional detachment in the tone pieces. The works are often use an academic or clinical dissection of the events. The most obvious case of this is the afore mentioned Mountains of Madness, but also The Lurking Fear, The Dunwhich Horror and even Rats in the Walls all sort of have strong emotional detachment. Consider in Rats in the Walls when the protagonist discusses his invalid son with an almost off hand matter of fact tone. In modern Lovecraftian fiction there is a clinical tone to it. Consider reading the "The Ugly Chickens" by Howard Waldrop and see if this does not strike you as having a Lovecraftian tone.



However, this tone may not be Lovecraftian and something more about the puritanical English approach to horror. Certainly true in Bram Stoker's Dracula (the book) was that Western Europeans could use reason, discipline and a scientific method to describe and thus defeat the vampire. In something like the Exorcist it is the failure of reasoning that is scary. I think that this scientific view or psuedo-scientific view that I believe runs through Lovecraftian fiction adds strongly to the next point.



2) I feel that the second essential part of Lovecraftian fiction is the corruption. Somebody may claim this is what was meant by total party kill or secrete societies but they would miss the point of this. Total Party Kill is a sad ending and secrete societies are part of that horror in our own backyard theme. Corruption is the idea that horror and destruction are contagious. Take the story "The Lurking Fear" for example here you have the corruption of the Dutch settlers as the primary conclusion of the piece and the realization of which disturbs the narrator. In Event Horizon or In the Mouth of Madness you have the "turning" of the reasonable hero. The Color Out of Space the farm is corrupted, Rats in the Walls the Virginian is corrupted, and in Shadow Over Innsmouth of course you have the *spoiler* the narrator finding out that he is part of that gold mining fish cult-so kind of corrupted.



Thanks for driving this discussion.

Go to Comment
7 Things about Lovecraftian Fiction
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-12 02:24 PM
I never liked the corruption aspect of the Lovecraft's stories though, and that is why I wanted to separate it. Did it really matter if they were brother and sister in the Dunwhich Horror or that crab armed mole people were the Dutch colonists in The Nameless Fear? Indeed finding out that there was human corruption that lead to these horror takes away from the nameless horror part. Go to Comment
Refuge Beneath the Waves
Locations  (Regional)   (Water)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-12 09:57 AM


This is really great, I kept asking questions about the history, the war and technology as I went and kept getting answers. This really well done (I have never played Bioshock) and has a lot of great ideas in it. This could be used as an Alien world, an alternate reality or just adapted for society in which everyone is told the surface is poisoned by the oppressive oligarchy. Yet this deserves more.



1) Visuals I would wager most readers picture a somewhat Victorian or Edwardian aesthetic in the place. However, that is never discussed. We don't get a clear visual of the people in this place and I loathe to use preconceived notions in such a fantastical setting. I would also wager that at least 25% (by word count not by topic) of all steam punk fiction is dedicated to fashion, so that seems missing from this, and it could be a fun addition.



2) Culture We also get an incomplete picture of the culture and day to day life. There are a lot of strong hints at an oligarchy of rich hereditary industrialists and an oppressed and tormented but educated underclass subjected to strict social planning. I think a government and economics section could be interesting and expansive. But perhaps you don't want to state the social economic relationship specifically, and that is fine, and I get it. But some more hints would give us a better feel for this place. What kind of people do these dome dwellers chose to celebrate? What sort of media (as extrapolation of the stage play musicals) do they consume? Are there population control issues? Do they smoke? I feel like this piece and this world would be better benefited by a direct discussion of these items or few more hints and details. (I like the hints at culture myself)



ABWB

Go to Comment
All Quiet on the West Third Street Front
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-02-09 09:10 PM
Very nice descriptions, the first paragraph particularly so, and that is the most important part of short fiction. I like it. Thank you. Go to Comment
30 Things that are Awesome
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - In General)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-04-17 07:36 PM
list of things you kind of already know, but never get tired of hearing about. Bless you internet!

this could be expanded into some sort writing challenge.


Could we make a generator that gave you five awesomes and you have to write a 30 minute story using all five? Go to Comment
30 Items You Need
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-08-02 10:49 PM
It speaks volumes about this sub that this list itself is not included on the list of necessary items. Go to Comment
30 Items You Need
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-08-09 12:31 PM
This has become a fun list that appeals to all of us that feel like old hands at this RPG stuff. Each individual blurb is fun cause it allows us to access memories or preconceived notions of gaming and then stick a squirrel in that scenario. Go to Comment
The Dragon Mines
Locations  (Area)   (Mountains)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-08-09 12:25 PM
When writing complex layered setting you often to lay out these "cliff note" type subs, that list the facts and few details. A nice tool with which to build future material. Go to Comment
Vartanadel Royalty and Nobles
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-04-01 08:13 PM
I like the little story in it, and the ghosting is such a big part of the Saulkement culture, that I love every bit I can synergize with. Go to Comment
A Traveler’s Guide to Vartanadel
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-08-09 12:19 PM
This fantastic, I am so glad you wrote you and I am very pleased that I read it. I have to critique to offer this excellent write up, so I will just offer pointed praise. First I really appreciate and respect that you chose to present this an in world perspective. I think this is bit of departure for you, things aren't written in "crayon" here, we trust this information as much as we trust our narrator, and our narrator obviously has some hard feeling. But I think this slanted view also provides us with more information that a list of facts. It give us This is also so much better than an arrogant write up that comes out in an omnipotent third person voice and says something along the lines of "the king is kind and dull witted". We get experience this culture as we might experience any foreign land: with a mix prejudice, confusion, emotion and wonder. No culture in the real world can be seen without perspective and shouldn't we respect our game worlds just as much if we are aiming for verisimilitude?

I love this location so much I wrote up an entire location dedicated Vartanadel exiles.
Go to Comment
Raveten
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-05-22 09:17 PM
"Reads more like a short story than a game piece" Why make a distinction? Go to Comment
Raveten
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-05-22 09:21 PM
This is brilliant, it combines many well tread tropes but it also very original to my jaded eyes. I agree with Moon that the mistake section seems a little jumbled and tedious. Why the description of the egg hatching?

At any rate fantastic, as a narrative its great in that I was really interested to find out what the raven would be doing, then when it blew up corpses...well I didn't see that coming.

I really like the journal asides. We learn so much more about your world and your vision from these types of posts as opposed to "gaming" posts that just list facts. Go to Comment
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