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30 Dwarven Treasures
Items  (Other)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-01 09:27 PM
Another interesting approach to this may have been to frame it around the day to life of dwavers, because much it already appears that way. If you want to tackle dwarven culture and values in list this is nice effort, I hope to use some them in future posts-give us a shared dwarven thread. Go to Comment
Slagger Tornfury
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-30 05:41 PM
This strikes me as fairly complete post (not much wanting for content here), written with a consistent tone and flippant style that is fun to read. We don't learn much about Tornfurry's other side, or if he has one, but I am thinking this is more about the rage than the man. Go to Comment
Exitium
Locations  (Ruins)   (Forest/ Jungle)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-30 10:17 AM
I think this is great, we get a story and a location, well done.  Thank you for writing this.  I wish more subs took this tact towards locations or character, rather than just listing "facts".  I feel inspired to do more in this tone, I hope you just raised the bar.  I feel bad that I don't have a lot to say about it, but I really wouldn't change much, the story sticks to a tone, we learn a lot about the main character (mostly by what he choses to say and not say), and we get a whole encounter.  These are the details you want in a setting.  Plus you could take this whole piece and use it as a hand out.  Go to Comment
101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers
Articles  (Character)   (Players)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-28 04:09 PM
This is fun, and endowing characters with these would be a fun way to test their creativity. Go to Comment
Sanguis Isles
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Water)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-30 09:44 AM
Ceasar I agree with your sentiment regarding this place completely, most writing for role-playing games doesn't have a narrative, but is piece of a narrative and the story of a character could certainly use a peaceful island. You we only have some many temples of doom. But you could add a few things that might focus on character interaction with setting a bit, for example what is the weather like. are their latent conflicts between the natives and the conquerors, who is the King and from who is he descended. If I visit the island what should I use for money, where should I stay, will I be able to stable a horse and then there are visuals. We don't have many. I am not saying you need all of this but I suggest you a pick a direct goal for what this piece is trying to communicate. Here some options to consider

Is this piece for strangers who have never visited the island, perhaps you could do it as a travel log entry, (steal the format from one the lonely planet books and go with that).

If this is a meta-piece for GMs then give the GMs a few sample scenes or something least they pull this location out their binder and watch the players eyes glaze over when you list off continuing fractions and imports. Obviously a GM will have to make up somethings, but you can fill a lot of gaps with suggestions of depth.

Is this piece designed to give you world some cultural vocabulary as you suggested, could this be where a character is from or place the characters have heard off. If that is the goal, what is the cultural baggage that they carry by being raised here. Obviously the will instinctively view water as more valuable then other players and they might in their heart the beach is always just right over that next rise, but that could be any island nation. What are Sanguisinites like how does their independant, stubborn, and resilient nature manifest in day to day life on the islands?

Overall I like the piece Go to Comment
Undead Beard Fleas
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 11:24 PM
Culturally it is dwarven, it speaks to dwarven values and behavior no? But the action is necromantic. Such is the divide between the two topics that we discussed earlier. LIke if we had a French guild and Architectural Guild, the french guild would be more culture, history and events and the Architectural Guild would be stories and items associated with the task associated with designing buildings.
Necromancy really isn't an idiom as dwarfishness will be when we are through with it. I would love to read counter arguments. Go to Comment
Undead Beard Fleas
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 08:00 AM
And the teaser is awesome Go to Comment
Undead Beard Fleas
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 05:54 PM
Dude I was in the in that cha
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Dwarven proverbs, sayings, quotes, anecdotes and euphemisms
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 11:14 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Beardspiders
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-16 10:38 PM
Update: I was happy to leave this a 100 word post, but as a guild dwarf I am held to higher standard. Please have at it. Go to Comment
Beardspiders
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-18 12:57 PM
made more changes, but thanks, I like that guilds will force us to improve our subs
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Beardspiders
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-18 02:24 PM
nice one Go to Comment
10 Dragon Lairs, Denizens & Hoards
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 09:44 PM
This is horribly horribly good, each once could-should be a short story. In fact if you hadn't been published, i would suggest expanding on this, a collection of short stories about you ten dragons. You are wasting this on this site. You cover, sci-fi, steam punk, modern fantasy, crime fiction, classic high fantasy and so on. Really I think you could do a lot with this, i would buy the book, and if I was publisher I would commission this based on the this treatment. Thank you for writing this. Seriously talk to illustrator this would make a great comic as well.

I dig the Zepplin, and the pawnshop based on their literal use of dragons and scenery. The last three, really change tones, you move away form the giant powerful magical beasts and into other realizations of the dragon mythos. Damn you this is good, I would join the dragon guild but I am not sure I could keep up. Go to Comment
10 Dragon Lairs, Denizens & Hoards
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 09:48 PM

One thing, chicago doesn't have a subway

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Thirty Punchlines to Dwarven Dirty Jokes
Society/ Organizations  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Regional)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 08:09 PM
Why can't you tell jokes online timing Go to Comment
Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 09:33 PM
I would combine the first two paragraphs such as this…..

My Lord sent me over all others because of my “infallible nature”, I presume he meant it when he said it, and to his credit I do not suffer the fallacy of over confidence. I am a man with a large mind for knowledge but a fallible man. The task which he lay before me, was track down and bring to light the Cult of the Harvest. He knew I would track down and discover their nature and motivations. What he didn't know is how far I would be willing to go to gain this information. We knew that they were a particularly wicked and vile group of individuals that have claimed to have give their souls over to some Evil force in exchange for knowledge and power. Something I found ridiculous and not at all improbable at the same time.


My Lord sent me over all others because of my “infallible nature”, I presume he meant it when he said it, and to his credit I do not suffer the fallacy of over confidence. I am a man with a large mind for knowledge but a fallible man. The task which he lay before me, was track down and bring to light the Cult of the Harvest. He knew I would track down and discover their nature and motivations. What he didn't know is how far I would be willing to go to gain this information. We knew that they were a particularly wicked and vile group of individuals that have claimed to have give their souls over to some Evil force in exchange for knowledge and power. Something I found ridiculous and not at all improbable at the same time.
Go to Comment
Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 09:33 PM



 


Why don't colored fonts work


 

Go to Comment
Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 11:26 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 07:50 AM

You just made exactly my point yet you say it is not chronological issue-are you just making fun of me? GIving me a hard time?. ;)


You write an "as begins to lose stability", thus you are describing a process a start and finish and how his perception will change on the journey. That is what chronology is referring to, it is not referring to specific dates but the journey the character is on. Relative, Chronology, or the passage of time, or the journey of the character..whatever you want to call it is exactly what your talking about when you write stuff like "fall further and further into the darkness". I really like every piece of this and I like what you doing with. I respect you so much for doing it as writer. This work/sub is not a case of a fanboy listing cool "facts" or neat one liners. But you are telling story, a story I am interested in and now invested in.


 


I am just trying to suggest one or two little things that think could make it a lot clearer. I could gleen this from the post, that divinity was written in different state of mind than summoning. But the state of the character's mind was not clearly communicated cause it was written in past tense and without defined breaks in the action we must assume it was all written at once. This view of one writing was particularly enforced by the retro-spective foreshadowing in the first section. "What he didn't know is how far I would be willing to go to gain this information. " The reader should be given a tool by the narrator to separate the different vignettes contextually or at have reason to keep them separate not to try and unify the perspective.

Go to Comment
Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-04 05:37 AM
you are right, I am sorry about that, once I saw that the text came out all one color I should discarded it. I will take care of it soon Go to Comment
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