Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Turtle Lotus
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Water)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-10 01:13 PM


I had very little to do with this exceptional write up or this wonderful world you have created.  But this fantastic, I  loved it when you told me about it and I love it now. 



 



The first paragraph has a number of errors in it and doesn't flow as well as the rest of the piece.  The second sentence for example seems to be the victim of a bad edit.  



But after the second paragraph the whole piece moves really smoothly and clearly . 


Go to Comment
Turtle Lotus
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Water)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-10 03:19 PM
It looks like you cut out a lot of the sub, did you mean to do that? Go to Comment
Green Sleeves
Items  (SpaceShips)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-12 12:03 AM
It was really hard to get this down to 100 words. I had to cut a lot info. about molecular transport in the sleeves, free radical sinks and why multi cellular sleeve cultures are less efficient then cell free sleeves. I just don't think flat floating greenhouses are worth more than 100 words. Go to Comment
Green Sleeves
Items  (SpaceShips)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-10 10:23 PM
Green Sleeves
Items  (SpaceShips)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-11 05:10 PM
carefully? Go to Comment
Green Sleeves
Items  (SpaceShips)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-11 08:34 PM
I think you failed to grasp the nature of what I wished to describe. My fault, maybe it does need to be longer than 100 words. Go to Comment
Icegate
Dungeons  (Tundra/ Arctic)   (Doors)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-11 10:01 PM


This is a really great idea, I ran glacier dungeon twice, two years ago. I wish I had this item for that one. 


Go to Comment
Icegate
Dungeons  (Tundra/ Arctic)   (Doors)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-11 10:00 PM
Perhaps when saying any other frozen liquid he is referring to a temperature/pressure relationship. In some game worlds i've read of ice can be a primal force, like fire, electricity , sound or ...eh...acid.

Go to Comment
Hanetta's Millstone
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-10 08:47 AM


Nice item. Items like this are more common in the mytho-historical record than the uber-swords. I read once a myth about a viking Grotte (I think) who had mill stone that would turn anything into anything. Eventually the stone was captured and the naive new owner asked for salt. Of course things went wrong and now the oceans are salty. Then there was the Strega Nona's pasta pot. You stone here will be a nice item for players because it doesn't have a down side or relgious trappings. I can see the players messing with it.



Excitable Player: "If we hook this up to a wind mill and maybe a sand chute, we could make a kiling selling grain."



Roleplaying Player: "By the Gods dear sir, you would take Hannetta's blessings to all men and use it for such base self-advancement."



Meta-player Number 1: "Yeah, if we do that the GM will have us drown in grain or something."

Go to Comment
Corran's Scribe
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-09 06:40 PM
I could imagine this scribe system being used to create a mimic of somebody else's handwriting. Perhaps a key piece of evidence in a case of treason was generated by somebody using a hand like this. Imagine if Iago had one of these made with Desdemona's hand.

But perhaps Corran could use it for marital instead martial power plays,
"I am sorry Beth but I have the shopping list right here in your hand writing and eye of newt isn't on it." Go to Comment
Corran's Scribe
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-17 10:23 PM


Wow, the first time i read this I thought you had some formating issue, then I thought you just edited this badly, and I was preparing long detailed a critique about how some paragraphs didn't make sense.  I was even going to mention how your footnotes weren't working as superscripts. Then I realized that the damn scribe ruled me again.



 



Damn clever sir, it is amazing how you turned this around with out much effort, it made me realize what a great core you had to this idea.     


Go to Comment
Corran's Scribe
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-17 10:28 PM
I am sorry I said without much effort, i just noticed what you went through editing this thing. I laughed out loud while reading this and had to try and explain it to my wife. Thank you for this, I really enjoyed it. Go to Comment
Corran's Scribe
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-29 10:41 PM
now its perfect Go to Comment
Corran's Scribe
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-08 08:03 AM


 



This one started out really well, we have another amusing story of Beth and Corran, and we have the imagery of Corran with a Doc Brown style colander on his head. But the end result of the item is one that is dull, inaccessible and unnecessarily limited.   I was surprised you end with this



“However, the Scribe does not work for other users. Believed to be a problem with the collector assembly and its compatibility with Corran's thoughts specifically, all attempts to modify the Scribe to accommodate another user have failed.”



How about giving the hand a little personality, a little bit of that puckish mischievousness that often seems to grow out of Corran’s quiet and domestic ambitions.   You could give the hand some of Bethany’s traits so that it will change the wording to fit her sensibilities.  Perhaps Bethany is more polite than Corran. 



“I am not writing the phrase ‘demonic crap box’, how about ‘an item from my privy’.” 



Or perhaps Bethany has a little more attitude then Corran.



“I am not addressing Veracit as ‘his Grace’ I don’t care how many Dukedom’s he is granted.  I shall instead write ‘Mr. Veracit who stayed at our home for 6-months without offer of rent or compensation’.”



I know I could change it if I use it and I will, but I would let my players have a go with this. It be could useful for a mage so that they can be sure to take notes while working on spells. I would also give the hand a bit of personality.  

Go to Comment
Corran's Scribe
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-01 05:42 PM
30 Steampunk Books
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-05 04:39 PM


This is great, number 27 got me.  Have you read 



http://www.amazon.com/Steampunk-Anthology-Fantastically-Strange-Stories/dp/0763648434



 



I recommend Clockwork Fagin.  It reminds me of number 30.  



 



 


Go to Comment
Ruby Heart
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-04 09:49 PM


Nice conservation of language now, and this a very useful item. 


Go to Comment
Ruby Heart
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-04 06:25 PM


Could you use a similiar supernatural technology or technique to make slippers?  



I think you could/should cut some words out of the first four sentences and then describe what happens when the magic is employed in a little more detail.



Does the silver heart burning out mean you only use it once?  Does the enchanted distant door look like the ruby door, how many people can pass through it, how long can it stay open and what can you see through the open door?  If the magic isn't too obvious: clever players would trick people into passing through it or drop ex-wvies or monsters into the rooms of the unpopular or evil. 


Go to Comment
Goliath Crown of Garim Darnore
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-09 09:18 PM


The more I have stewed on this one the more I like it. Well Done. 


Go to Comment
Goliath Crown of Garim Darnore
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-23 12:12 PM
Added Dwarf to the freetext
Go to Comment
Total Comments:
1737

Join Now!!




Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2