Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Undead Beard Fleas
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 08:00 AM
And the teaser is awesome Go to Comment
Undead Beard Fleas
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 05:54 PM
Dude I was in the in that cha
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Dwarven proverbs, sayings, quotes, anecdotes and euphemisms
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 11:14 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Beardspiders
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-16 10:38 PM
Update: I was happy to leave this a 100 word post, but as a guild dwarf I am held to higher standard. Please have at it. Go to Comment
Beardspiders
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-18 12:57 PM
made more changes, but thanks, I like that guilds will force us to improve our subs
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Beardspiders
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-18 02:24 PM
nice one Go to Comment
10 Dragon Lairs, Denizens & Hoards
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 09:44 PM
This is horribly horribly good, each once could-should be a short story. In fact if you hadn't been published, i would suggest expanding on this, a collection of short stories about you ten dragons. You are wasting this on this site. You cover, sci-fi, steam punk, modern fantasy, crime fiction, classic high fantasy and so on. Really I think you could do a lot with this, i would buy the book, and if I was publisher I would commission this based on the this treatment. Thank you for writing this. Seriously talk to illustrator this would make a great comic as well.

I dig the Zepplin, and the pawnshop based on their literal use of dragons and scenery. The last three, really change tones, you move away form the giant powerful magical beasts and into other realizations of the dragon mythos. Damn you this is good, I would join the dragon guild but I am not sure I could keep up. Go to Comment
10 Dragon Lairs, Denizens & Hoards
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 09:48 PM

One thing, chicago doesn't have a subway

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Thirty Punchlines to Dwarven Dirty Jokes
Society/ Organizations  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Regional)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 08:09 PM
Why can't you tell jokes online timing Go to Comment
Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 09:33 PM



 


Why don't colored fonts work


 

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Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 09:33 PM
I would combine the first two paragraphs such as this…..

My Lord sent me over all others because of my “infallible nature”, I presume he meant it when he said it, and to his credit I do not suffer the fallacy of over confidence. I am a man with a large mind for knowledge but a fallible man. The task which he lay before me, was track down and bring to light the Cult of the Harvest. He knew I would track down and discover their nature and motivations. What he didn't know is how far I would be willing to go to gain this information. We knew that they were a particularly wicked and vile group of individuals that have claimed to have give their souls over to some Evil force in exchange for knowledge and power. Something I found ridiculous and not at all improbable at the same time.


My Lord sent me over all others because of my “infallible nature”, I presume he meant it when he said it, and to his credit I do not suffer the fallacy of over confidence. I am a man with a large mind for knowledge but a fallible man. The task which he lay before me, was track down and bring to light the Cult of the Harvest. He knew I would track down and discover their nature and motivations. What he didn't know is how far I would be willing to go to gain this information. We knew that they were a particularly wicked and vile group of individuals that have claimed to have give their souls over to some Evil force in exchange for knowledge and power. Something I found ridiculous and not at all improbable at the same time.
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Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-25 11:26 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-26 07:50 AM

You just made exactly my point yet you say it is not chronological issue-are you just making fun of me? GIving me a hard time?. ;)


You write an "as begins to lose stability", thus you are describing a process a start and finish and how his perception will change on the journey. That is what chronology is referring to, it is not referring to specific dates but the journey the character is on. Relative, Chronology, or the passage of time, or the journey of the character..whatever you want to call it is exactly what your talking about when you write stuff like "fall further and further into the darkness". I really like every piece of this and I like what you doing with. I respect you so much for doing it as writer. This work/sub is not a case of a fanboy listing cool "facts" or neat one liners. But you are telling story, a story I am interested in and now invested in.


 


I am just trying to suggest one or two little things that think could make it a lot clearer. I could gleen this from the post, that divinity was written in different state of mind than summoning. But the state of the character's mind was not clearly communicated cause it was written in past tense and without defined breaks in the action we must assume it was all written at once. This view of one writing was particularly enforced by the retro-spective foreshadowing in the first section. "What he didn't know is how far I would be willing to go to gain this information. " The reader should be given a tool by the narrator to separate the different vignettes contextually or at have reason to keep them separate not to try and unify the perspective.

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Treatise on Necromancy
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-04 05:37 AM
you are right, I am sorry about that, once I saw that the text came out all one color I should discarded it. I will take care of it soon Go to Comment
Four Forges: A simple board game played by Dwarves
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-23 12:28 PM
Four Forges: A simple board game played by Dwarves
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-23 11:17 PM
CAN NOT GET THOSE SAMPLE BOARDS TO BE ANY SMALLER! Go to Comment
Four Forges: A simple board game played by Dwarves
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-20 10:01 AM
Update: Funny you should HoH this today cause we play finally play tested this at board game gathering using risk pieces as stones and a board drawn on a wet erase grid map. It was ok, but after just one game we decided to add mining. Mining keeps a player from being isolated early in the game. We also found that it does not matter much if players start with 6 types of each stones or just a random 18 stone. The key to the game is table talk and horse trading. Go to Comment
Four Forges: A simple board game played by Dwarves
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-20 10:49 AM
just played with mining, it makes the game awful don't bother with mining Go to Comment
Bacon the Dog
NPCs  (Minor)   (Domestic/ Craft)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-23 01:44 PM
nicely done Go to Comment
Chalopin-Barkin Industries of Mars
Items  (Transports)   (Campaign Defining)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-12-04 03:52 PM
First and foremost, I enjoy and respect the world you paint it is a damn shame you don't have a visual artist to work with you.

I read this with the goal of learning more about extra-terrestrial life, economics and culture in the cosmic era. I got some of that.

It also have a nice tone resulting from the author's editorializing and the choice of facts shared. The tone paints the martians as the more sympathetic and admirable group compared to the " soft handed men who complain about a hard day pressing computer buttons"....at least to my antebellum Southern 'merican sensibilities.

But I found this a little dry (please don't hate me) because it is a largely in-personal and heavy handed list of facts. But I think that is a problem endemic to write ups retro-fitted to toys when you don't have the toys. As it is I would like more Martian stories and less vehicle descriptions. From the meat of prose is the human and dramatic aspects of the conflicts. Those are the juicy details, not the speed of a G22. To be fair though I acknowledge that preference for people and stories over hardware and conclusions is my bias.

So what do you need here if not a real story? You need in game stats.

Battletech as I understand it, was started when somebody decided it would be fun (or profitable) to play a board game with models of robots popular in Japanesse TV at the time. So I recall reading that they hired M. Stackpole to write up a board game and a back story to use these minis which were based on Japan's popular animation at the time. So even if Stackpole's or J. Michael Straczynski's story was dry you still had the toys. Those little bio-blurbs on the back of your G.I. Joe and Transformer blister packs would be far less interesting if we didn't have the toys. To a role-player or wargammer Stats can be toys, perhaps it is time to start STATing up the Cosmic Era. That way we could to play out scenario's such as one lone private eye way out of his element jumping on to the controls of a standard G99 to try and fight off a score of Skeletrons (or are they Skeletors) Go to Comment
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