Another interesting approach to this may have been to frame it around the day to life of dwavers, because much it already appears that way. If you want to tackle dwarven culture and values in list this is nice effort, I hope to use some them in future posts-give us a shared dwarven thread. Go to Comment
This strikes me as fairly complete post (not much wanting for content here), written with a consistent tone and flippant style that is fun to read. We don't learn much about Tornfurry's other side, or if he has one, but I am thinking this is more about the rage than the man. Go to Comment
I think this is great, we get a story and a location, well done. Thank you for writing this. I wish more subs took this tact towards locations or character, rather than just listing "facts". I feel inspired to do more in this tone, I hope you just raised the bar. I feel bad that I don't have a lot to say about it, but I really wouldn't change much, the story sticks to a tone, we learn a lot about the main character (mostly by what he choses to say and not say), and we get a whole encounter. These are the details you want in a setting. Plus you could take this whole piece and use it as a hand out. Go to Comment
Ceasar I agree with your sentiment regarding this place completely, most writing for role-playing games doesn't have a narrative, but is piece of a narrative and the story of a character could certainly use a peaceful island. You we only have some many temples of doom. But you could add a few things that might focus on character interaction with setting a bit, for example what is the weather like. are their latent conflicts between the natives and the conquerors, who is the King and from who is he descended. If I visit the island what should I use for money, where should I stay, will I be able to stable a horse and then there are visuals. We don't have many. I am not saying you need all of this but I suggest you a pick a direct goal for what this piece is trying to communicate. Here some options to consider
Is this piece for strangers who have never visited the island, perhaps you could do it as a travel log entry, (steal the format from one the lonely planet books and go with that).
If this is a meta-piece for GMs then give the GMs a few sample scenes or something least they pull this location out their binder and watch the players eyes glaze over when you list off continuing fractions and imports. Obviously a GM will have to make up somethings, but you can fill a lot of gaps with suggestions of depth.
Is this piece designed to give you world some cultural vocabulary as you suggested, could this be where a character is from or place the characters have heard off. If that is the goal, what is the cultural baggage that they carry by being raised here. Obviously the will instinctively view water as more valuable then other players and they might in their heart the beach is always just right over that next rise, but that could be any island nation. What are Sanguisinites like how does their independant, stubborn, and resilient nature manifest in day to day life on the islands?
Culturally it is dwarven, it speaks to dwarven values and behavior no? But the action is necromantic. Such is the divide between the two topics that we discussed earlier. LIke if we had a French guild and Architectural Guild, the french guild would be more culture, history and events and the Architectural Guild would be stories and items associated with the task associated with designing buildings.
Necromancy really isn't an idiom as dwarfishness will be when we are through with it. I would love to read counter arguments. Go to Comment
This is horribly horribly good, each once could-should be a short story. In fact if you hadn't been published, i would suggest expanding on this, a collection of short stories about you ten dragons. You are wasting this on this site. You cover, sci-fi, steam punk, modern fantasy, crime fiction, classic high fantasy and so on. Really I think you could do a lot with this, i would buy the book, and if I was publisher I would commission this based on the this treatment. Thank you for writing this. Seriously talk to illustrator this would make a great comic as well.
I dig the Zepplin, and the pawnshop based on their literal use of dragons and scenery. The last three, really change tones, you move away form the giant powerful magical beasts and into other realizations of the dragon mythos. Damn you this is good, I would join the dragon guild but I am not sure I could keep up. Go to Comment