This one went dark quick, anti-union thought police, public murder, censorship.
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You convey a lot in a 100 words. Not the direction I would have gone with the setting or at least I think you could have done this with a more nuanced write up or had the discipline to develop this idea more. This could be the plot to a whole a novel. But you give put it out here in a 100 words and you have certainly put the setting in corner. Nice use of language.
A beautiful faired haired lady, maybe the king's daughter, maybe an impostor... but definitely the child of a dark prophesy inherits a kingdom and then starts raising the dead. There is also a move from the fair to the black, an important costume change when becoming evil. Just listing the facts she sounds like Smurfet in reverse
I agree with D.L.M. that this does sound more like a movie trailer and book jacket than most of the plot posts on the citadel. But as a barebones plot it is not a bad idea and I enjoyed the prose a lot. Some of these descriptions will stick with me for a long time, nice first post. If we view it as a preview piece (as DLM & I both agree it resembles) it makes me more excited about the things you will write in the future than using this in game.Go to Comment