Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Tangrams (or Seven Piece Puzzles)
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-11 11:29 PM
I remember Tangrams, I didn't know they were Chinese! I should have put these into games years ago. Good idea. Go to Comment
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-08-02 07:02 AM
I think this is the great NPC, I really like the chief conflict in his story seems to be an over dedication to pragmatism and a lack traditionally vain affectations. "Being a knight use to be fun until Urooj came along." Scras is right there is a lot of inbetween the lines stuff. But what is interesting about this is that it is facts that are all in between the lines, the conclusion regarding personality are all explicitly stated. Good stuff, I like the story too and the I love that you defined the character through different voices. Go to Comment
The Maw Installation
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Space)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-16 11:27 AM

This is a fun idea. A little known place where they build real life versions of the space craft from popular science fiction (aka the conceit from Galaxy Quest raised to nth degree). That would be a great idea seed. You have taken that idea seed a step farther and tried to realize the Maw in the cosmic era setting. To this end you outline the numerical dimensions of the place, drop is some proper nouns, link it to other cosmic era content and the list some more numerical dimensions. You also add some choice details that really put steps forward towards immersion in the world. I like how each “pod” has its own insignia and that you explained (in your first blurb) how the Maw is subtle part of the collective consciousness. You passed on some easy laughs by not including Pod 6, and writing about “those jerks from Pod-6”.

But I don’t think the Maw is fully realized. You give us a lot of numbers and often give us dry impersonal facts. Numbers that might be more descriptive if you told us the ratio clones to people, the ratio droids to people, the ratio of sheep to people and so on. This kind of reminds of the RPG you ran and when scouted the archeology you told me the design history the archeology but nothing about the current state of the archeology. You are just throwing facts up there rather than “mechanically” using those facts to build a point.

There are 2000 workers on Aleph station, but so what? Is it cramped? Do they monitor their droids from one central control room like NASA or are the labs and departments modular? Is there a cafeteria? Which clones are these? (I hope the the crew is 75% Shipwrecks and Roadblocks) Yes we could answer these questions but the gaps don’t fit with pedantic tone of the piece. You scale down the size of the ships for what? Is it going to ruin your RPG if the star destroyer is over 2 kilometers long? Point is you tell us a lot about what this place needs to be to fit into the cosmic era setting, but you don’t tell us what the place is actually like. It is impossible that your imagination begins with a ship we have already seen in another and ends with a number. I assume there is stuff you planned that didn't make into the post. You mention a shipwright in the blurb, while that could be a description of the place, I assume denotes specific person. Did you intended to write up the chief designer of the station? So how about some personalities or people in here? A place where a bunch of dorks have a huge budget to realize their geeky daydreams? There has to be interesting culture on that station. When and how did the Maw transition from clandestine ship tending to think tank?

All these fact about numbers, discussions of budgets and resources bring up another question. Do you intend for economic game play to be part of the cosmic era? Such rule sets have been a part of many RPG systems. In second ed D&D you had the castle guide which allowed you to budget construction of a castle and tax the peasants. . Battletech has a whole arm of core rules for managing a unit, paying salaries and upkeep costs. Westend Star Wars had the Smuggler’s guide which detailed rules for speculative trading and the economics of playing a working space merchant. I think developing your system along those lines might be fun for you.

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axlerowes's comment on 2015-08-18 11:39 PM

Krimswoffel and Alicestasia still live in that great house together. Still care for the children. But they are not lovers and they are not friends. They are inmates sharing a prison of regret, and a secret religion of hope that de Vulasier will return someday. Aside from the ever-invading legion of suffering children, the only new visitors they ever seem to have are a flock of cawing white ravens.

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Din-Bak and Barbo's Bestiary
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-29 11:17 AM
This is a fantastic frame work on which to hang any number of gaming factoids. Via the voice of your globe-trotting fantasy zoologists you could unpack an entire gaming world. This goes beyond just animals in that you can (and do) describe cultures, personalities and geographies in a much more lively manner than the all too common encyclopedia style listing of facts. If you wanted to frame this as a stand alone work of fiction I think it would be easy to pin a thread of conflict to each of these chapters with another chapter offering some sort of resolution. I enjoyed reading this and immediately day dreamed my only little story for your characters. Which is what we want from gaming fiction isn’t it? Go to Comment
Chinese Mythical Life forms
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-11 12:15 AM
I think there is more to say in the introduction of this codex than what you put here. A little discourse on the nature of the mythology would be welcome. Go to Comment
Han Yu (Cold Jade)
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-11 12:12 AM
I really liked this idea, it is good footnote for other stories and it was so subtle, like hypothermia itself. I can best sum up the post by saying this is a COOL and WELL PLAYED. Go to Comment
Shuang Gu Jian (Double Branched Sword)
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-11 12:03 AM
Pretty solid stuff, I am not familiar with it so I am not sure what is historical and what is adapted. I liked the stories and found this a fun read. I suggest some restructuring. The first section is hard to follow because all the proper nouns (names) are not defined. The crafting and ownership history are also hard to follow. Perhaps you could focus on the appearance and properties in section one, and fold the crafting and ownership history into the other sections.

I always feel like if you are going nonfiction on us you should include references (wikipedia is a dubious reference). Go to Comment
Plasmid Lifeforms
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-11 12:06 AM
Solid introduction to the concept. Go to Comment
Cosmic Era: Avengers
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-10 11:19 PM
I reminded of something Pieh wrote back in to 2010, I will just repost his comment...

"I'm not sure there are any redeeming qualities in this one. I think the last line hits it on the head. It's almost like I was handed an overly generic, staple, cookie-cutter, bland, stereotypical wizard, then given some totally useless information. When given the information I looked up and said "Whut?" then I was told: Oh... Just act like Gandalf."

Just act like Robert Downey Jr. Go to Comment
Ulysses Crane
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-10 11:16 PM
This is really good character, excellent combination of bits and pieces to give us both a feeling the visceral nature of the character and the psychological depth of the person. You tell us both how he feels and how he smells. Excellent stuff. I like the style of asides in his voice and the content text in the god's eye voice.

The only thing is you could have been more "mechanical" or disciplined in the write up. For example in paragraph 1 you call you him a realist and pragmatist when describing his appearance. You toss in the game use suggestions into his background and some the sentences are beneath you. But this all minor stuff, really a great character.I find it distracting and unnecessary to reference the Avengers other than it is impressive to see what you built from that brief scene. Go to Comment
The Fleshspikes
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-10 11:03 PM

Pretty darn good, I enjoyed the pulpy tale at the beginning. The phrases and pacing dug into the genre like a flesh spike into The Storm Kings thigh. But then you switched it up by giving us another pulpy little story. This second story really doesn't connect to the first story, and thus lacks bite (get it? teeth, bite...bah). I like the mini world you presented and enjoyed reading this.

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7 Things Wrong with Godzilla 2014
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-08-16 07:59 PM

Finally watched this movie and I will start by saying that I will not try and fat shame this lizard. But I ask where was the shame in this movie. What this movie did though was drop theme of many movie in which monsters represent a punishment of man's sins or crimes.

To your comments:

1) Would you rather have a movie were Godzilla came out of nowwhere? Having Monarch around allowed from some condensed story telling and in specualtive fiction movies part of the appeal is to create a reality in which there are many stones to unturn. Having Monarch allows the story tellers to unpack material quickly and to say that it is just the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps your complaint doesn't lie in that Monarch wasn't developed enough but rather the first half of the movie really didn't connect to the second half of the movie.

(Nothing about how close the ships were to Godzilla made sense.)

2) This brings up the death of Bryan Cranston. Agreed his death was a weak link in the story. But not because we weren't going to get any more of his hokey disaster movie over acting but because the movie never bookended to his death. (at least I think it didn't...also did I use a double negative there?). There was never any evidence in the second half of the movie that son had reconnected to his father or gained some emotional closure. The same was true with his kid and his wife. There wasn't a scene in which everything came full circle. I know sometimes when movie try to hit these narrative beats and misstep it is so dissaterous that you wish they hadn't even tried. Maybe there was a scene and they cut it. But Bryan Cranston's death meant nothing in the film and his character's echo location insight was a just sign post in the story. Anybody could have put it up. Agreed his death was handled badly. That his son was wooden I didn't mind. I thought it kind of worked in the movie actually, it would have been exhausting if every time the shit inexplicably caught up to him we had another emotional peak. In fact compared to how cheesey and over wrought the performances in the first part of the movie were I found him a relief.

3) The important part with Watanabe , was he HAD to do TWO things. You needed the first guy to say "Godzilla" to be Japanese. WE NEEDED IT. Second you needed somebody to look at a screen or out a window and slowly take off his glasses as he wrestles with the new reality of the situation. WE NEEDED IT. As for a visceral scientist...well none of the characters in the movie were really guys driving with their dicks. I liked that, bring back the '2001', 'close encounters of the third kind' scientists. But as Godzilla's only cheerleader in the film you had to have him be quiet. If he was loud and hubris filled we would have wanted to fail or at least thought he was nuts. But you are right one could have given him more personality. Give him a couple 1 minute personal scenes like they did with the three principles in the Rock or tell him to act like Robert Downey Jr.

4) You're right...if only Joel Schumacher had been available or maybe Baz Luhrmann.


6) I didn't mind the giant bats. The fact that they called them parasites really had no bearing on the film, so yeah it goes with the movies general haphazard storytelling of throwing facts up and then forgetting about them. But the Muto was way better than Mothra and Mothra's larva. Somebody had to say it.

7) It was disaster movie. But not a very good one.

Why can't we discuss Strolen Submission with this type of depth?

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7 Things Wrong with Godzilla 2014
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-08-17 02:39 PM

That is a little snobby! Scras don't want no scrubs. Well, I don't need no fancy cars or diamond rings, just bring it on up to me.

Slightly more seriously (Internet serious) I reject your assertion that intellectual investment in art should be based around the financial investment in that art, Perhaps the intention or ambition of that art but those aren't tied to the money.

Nor am I suggesting that we have these types of pedantic fan boy rants, that while fun to write and read, are necessary as a means of critiquing content content here. They are fine for movies, but perhaps we could have a place in which this type of energy could be inwardly directed towards site content.

Go to Comment
7 Things Wrong with Godzilla 2014
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-08-18 01:40 PM

Whoa, let us not get all butt hurt* here Getting up set about this is beneath all of us. There is nothing wrong with pedantic fan boy rants about the minutia of geek culture as long we keep a sense of levity to it. I enjoyed scras’s get off my lawn rant here and I replied with my own absurd rant ( just with more typos). I said it was fun to write and read...don't confuse the message. I want Scras to write more such movie critiques. I will agree with them or disagree with them as I see fit, but I promise I will enjoy them. Plus dissecting other mediums and story telling helps us refine our own craft (as it is).

Scras is also right to point out these movie take massive resources to produce and as a result we should be harsh of them because they should be worth it. As members of the community that pays for these movies we have a duty to tell the world when they suck. (that is right, by refusing to watch J.J. Abrams material I am saving humanity) I get it. Scras wants a better Godzilla movie. Scras cares about Godzilla. It is part of his identity. But so is the citadel.

He also right, we can’t respond to citadel content the same way we respond to movie. But we can care about it as much if not more. That is all I am saying.

If I had to choose between a world without Godzilla or a world without the Citadel I would take the world without Godzilla.

In summary, Scras you are creative, smart and insightful.

*butt hurt is a Scras, used when people are taken aback by his ruthless flogging of their preferred media or by the amount of knowledge about "stuff" he can drop on them

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7 Things Wrong with Godzilla 2014
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-08-18 01:42 PM
:Respect: Go to Comment
A man becomes a bow, a bow a man.
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
axlerowes's comment on 2017-04-06 06:47 AM
Good one, a great platform

It is a little heavy on the history-the description of the battle is overly detailed, while the description of the current bow-zombie combo is underdeveloped. Go to Comment
Cosmic Era: Predator Tech
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Combat)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-07-19 09:51 PM

The term Yuatja is that something you made up or is that from some other source material?

I am of several minds about how to comment on this one.

First thought is whether to critique comment or vote at all. If one comments on something and the recipients gets upset then there is no point. This website is all about personal enjoyment and if you strip them of that than you shouldn’t be here. People often say critiquing is okay and necessary as long as done nicely. But isn’t it nicer not to critique at all and just offer blanket praise? Light hearted criticism is often worse cause people might take it personally. This particular case is rough because it is always rough to make negative comments about the big guys on the website. In the internet world those guys have the power to be bullys and push you around or keep you from participating. Indeed the first time I ever offered Scras and Muro serious criticism I was so worried about doing it I sent it to them as a PM. They were cool about though and I later posted and voted. Critiquing and voting is the game of the citadel. But if push comes to shove if somebody asked me to give them a higher vote, or change my comment I would and I have.

Additionally, in the case of Scras, he always makes a point to say that he writes most of this for himself out of some compulsion. I get that. If there are four winds of the citadel than self-indulgent post has to be one of them. If somebody is posting just for them then maybe should you get off their lawn? But if one posts it up here and not in the forums than it must be because one wanted that piece to be evaluated.

Finally, I am also worried that on this website that I am the guy playing too hard. I am that guy playing full court D in pick up basketball, stealing bases in softball or blocking on the run in flag football. It is always a debate whether to try and be brief and light-hearted, but that can be ambiguous. And perhaps Scras and the cosmic era are special and deserve more attention.

One of the risks I have seen when you write for the cosmic era is that you spit out banal regurgitations of the inspirational material. In this particular post you simply describe the items from Predator movie. You mention a few things about the cosmic era (it could drive you insane or what have you) but you don’t integrate it. You already have arcano tech as a concept that give you carte blanche for most sci-fi stuff. Above, just like in your recent Cosmic Era Avenger’s post, all you do is describe the characters from the movies with new techno babble rationales for their powers and abilities (though I did think /Hulk, equipment: pants/ was funny). Contrast this to what you have done with G.I. Joe. You have taken the material and visual minutia of the Cobra faction from tv show and turned into a subversive and sympathetic terrorist group in the cosmic era. None of the story points are the same, but just a few details are kept, the window dressing is kept. I make have the logo of Cobra but it is really Amerika Command. It is a truly re-imagining. You failed to do that with the Predator tech stuff and the Avengers and thus you waste our time and yours. People like to read articles about stuff they already know, it makes them feel connected and comfortable. It sometimes fun to see lists of your favorite movie villains or the coolest movie guns. Your stuff on the Avengers and the Predator tech is fun in that regard, but not as cosmic era a post. I feel this whole discussion, your brain storming of with regard to how to integrate the tech, would be better suited for the forums.

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Feather-Dusters of Dra'Solme Tsolyul
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2017-04-06 06:52 AM
cute and complete, poor Shamargyun.....I hope he or his ancestors come back to claim their feathers Go to Comment
Feather-Dusters of Dra'Solme Tsolyul
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2017-04-06 06:53 AM
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       By: Strolen

Religious city. Hundreds of vendors selling small statues which sole value is as a donation to one of the many gods that are worshipped.

Ideas  ( Locations ) | January 18, 2003 | View | UpVote 2xp