Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Environmental Parapsychic Powers
Systems  (Mystical)   (Specific)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-29 05:22 PM
This is clearly written, well formatted and fun.

Are we thinking the pyro's just catalyze stuff to heat it up and catch it on fire, cause the way you seem to describe they are creating "fuelless" fires, which would suggest direct energy...something EMish. Does this mean they can create or channel energy? Could they make beams of light or gamma radiation? Go to Comment
Environmental Parapsychic Powers
Systems  (Mystical)   (Specific)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-29 05:23 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Environmental Parapsychic Powers
Systems  (Mystical)   (Specific)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-30 10:22 AM
In a sci-fi setting though people will ask what is that energy. Could these fuelless flames work in a vacuum? Go to Comment
Atlantic Federation
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-16 10:21 PM
Who is the novel about? Go to Comment
Atlantic Federation
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-16 10:37 PM
"The Federation is known for it's unabashed militarism, space exploration program and being the first NEG, the pioneer of hypertechnology, and the point of origin for the CogNet. "
Who know these things? Your fictional geo-political summaries would carry more verisimilitude for me if they were less demonstrative and more controvertible. It would be more telling I believe to have two or three informed citizens of Scras's mind sit around and discuss the Atlantic Federation than these primary school textbok style summations that have single point of few for millions of people.

Having the enemy subs having free reign of the ocean provides a great story telling leaver, I like the idea of being able to drop agents from foreign powers in with relative ease. Go to Comment
Atlantic Federation
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-16 10:38 PM
Well played sir Go to Comment
Omni-Consumer Products
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-14 01:18 PM
First, the one has a lot of fun imagery and a punchy bemused wording that I really enjoyed.

"megacorp sprawled like a kraken flailing around the Great Lakes"


"These are not automatically human brains, but some are."

"megacorporation to make all the stuff that people needed, but really didnt need to be marketed, like the afore mentioned asswipe, toothpaste, furniture, and so on"


The format of the wedding limerick also was both accessible and clever.

Fun stuff.

Go to Comment
Union Aerospace Corporation
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Trans World)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-14 02:40 PM
Also a fun one, I think we just mapped the Kessel run! Go to Comment
Pacific Rim Coalition
Locations  (Other)   (Water)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-13 11:24 PM
Useful stuff, if I were to play a character from there what was the PRC stance on Neo-ethnic group and mystics? Who benefitted from the PRC's formation? Any not able personalities? Go to Comment
North American Congressional Army (NACA or Nay-Say)
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-11 10:35 PM
Update: Just joined Drunk writer's guild, there is no way this comes out formatted....holding my breath and my drink while I hit submit. Go to Comment
North American Congressional Army (NACA or Nay-Say)
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-11 10:36 PM
Update: Just joined Drunk writer's guild, there is no way this comes out formatted....holding my breath and my drink while I hit submit. Go to Comment
North American Congressional Army (NACA or Nay-Say)
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-12 09:08 AM
made few changes, I am okay with it Go to Comment
North American Congressional Army (NACA or Nay-Say)
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-02-08 08:59 AM
Update: I just happen to look at this an realized a whole paragraph was missing. Go to Comment
North American Congressional Army (NACA or Nay-Say)
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-10 08:34 PM
that is exactly what this was Go to Comment
Nipponism
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-12 09:43 AM
You just laid out the "facts" to justify a feudal Japan culture in the futuristic game world. It had to be done. A personal vignette to give us feeling how this manifests in life could be fun, but I suppose that will happen in game.


As for the writing, you have a lot of proper nouns that you never mention again, thus in the context of the post they are non-information. To be fair that is staple of the genre, somebody mentions a Kessel run and boom the Fans take off. So have at it! Pacific Rim Coalition, Republic of California, Union Aerospace, Omni Consumer,Cyberdyne* Systems, Urban Knights, Arcoboys.

*tread lightly Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-09 08:22 PM
With regard to the metaphysics that imagine herein, what is a soul? Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-09 08:32 PM
Even with the personal details I still think these could be combined with the first post. Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-09 09:50 PM
Could two of this siblings conceive a child, maybe that child would more Mother Monster could stand and she would have to call the PCs to deal with it? Actually I now have an idea for that... Go to Comment
Maddux
Systems  (Geological/ Geographical)   (Defining)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-11 08:05 PM
The following conversation took place between Vartenedal smuggler and Skaldenvale wool monger after several drinks 
 
"Listen here Mr. Uvtogova, I think you must be exaggerating, this Maddux thing really can't be that..."

 "NYET, ya daft foo', ew dinna no unner stan, assniff da gawd, ave uh bug uh dice a 'ist uh orror in onsirs ta uvv up yer arse" 
 
Translation from the Skaldenvale dialect to High Vartanedelian
"Not all you stupid clown, you fail to grasp how the situation resembles a God rolling dice and then consulting a list of horrors and monsters with which torment people.
 

Well there is the whole thing about perspective, who wrote this, who is theorizing? Does the average person think of this reality thing and this pool of magic? You seem to be writing very much with a GM voice: in as much as your are communicating in narrative and out of narrative at the same time. Forget that,
 
What I am geeked about is the whole metaphysics you have dived into here. We have a tool with which to ask questions in game such as what is reality?  How would people behave if we had a clear definition for reality? The Maddux is real, the farmers tools come to life-that was real, but it was unnatural or it was the result of break in the fabric of reality? So is reality only what is expected or common? The Maddux is theorized to be a natural weak spot in the fabric of reality, which is made up of what we can experience.
So if somebody can experience more or less do they have different reality?

At any rate great stuff and fun idea to make a setting more dramatic. I am also excited to see and play with the effect this enviornment will have on the culture and philosophy of the people.

Go to Comment
Agrivaine Dorset
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Criminal/Espionage)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-12 04:27 PM
Deep Beneath the Mighty Walls of the Citadel there is a great hall. Truly this large chamber would better be described as a stable or carriage house for with in this room are all the discarded mounts and vehicles that residents of the citadel brought with them. Sadly upon taking up residence in the Citadel and becoming a contributing member of its hallowed community these old mounts and carts were locked away and never spoken of again. These discarded wares were considered base, pedestrian, and beneath the high minded concerns of the Citadel. But always they were there, just beneath the surface, and year after year more arrived and more were ignored. For decades no Citadellian talked about about what brought them here, until today.

Today (actually three days ago) if you stood within that dark room you would have heard the There was the slightest creak as Ted, the deliverer (not Ted the InfestedJerk) pushed open the door to this chamber, kicked aside the pretenses and affectations that blocked his path and said to the said beasts that resided there "You guys won't be worth any experience, but you can come out now if you want. " Go to Comment
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