I desired instruction as to what you or your narrator meant by adventurer. Do people self-identify as adventurers in your setting?
Go to CommentThis is a fun idea. A little known place where they build real life versions of the space craft from popular science fiction (aka the conceit from Galaxy Quest raised to nth degree). That would be a great idea seed. You have taken that idea seed a step farther and tried to realize the Maw in the cosmic era setting. To this end you outline the numerical dimensions of the place, drop is some proper nouns, link it to other cosmic era content and the list some more numerical dimensions. You also add some choice details that really put steps forward towards immersion in the world. I like how each “pod” has its own insignia and that you explained (in your first blurb) how the Maw is subtle part of the collective consciousness. You passed on some easy laughs by not including Pod 6, and writing about “those jerks from Pod-6”.
But I don’t think the Maw is fully realized. You give us a lot of numbers and often give us dry impersonal facts. Numbers that might be more descriptive if you told us the ratio clones to people, the ratio droids to people, the ratio of sheep to people and so on. This kind of reminds of the RPG you ran and when scouted the archeology you told me the design history the archeology but nothing about the current state of the archeology. You are just throwing facts up there rather than “mechanically” using those facts to build a point.
There are 2000 workers on Aleph station, but so what? Is it cramped? Do they monitor their droids from one central control room like NASA or are the labs and departments modular? Is there a cafeteria? Which clones are these? (I hope the the crew is 75% Shipwrecks and Roadblocks) Yes we could answer these questions but the gaps don’t fit with pedantic tone of the piece. You scale down the size of the ships for what? Is it going to ruin your RPG if the star destroyer is over 2 kilometers long? Point is you tell us a lot about what this place needs to be to fit into the cosmic era setting, but you don’t tell us what the place is actually like. It is impossible that your imagination begins with a ship we have already seen in another and ends with a number. I assume there is stuff you planned that didn't make into the post. You mention a shipwright in the blurb, while that could be a description of the place, I assume denotes specific person. Did you intended to write up the chief designer of the station? So how about some personalities or people in here? A place where a bunch of dorks have a huge budget to realize their geeky daydreams? There has to be interesting culture on that station. When and how did the Maw transition from clandestine ship tending to think tank?
All these fact about numbers, discussions of budgets and resources bring up another question. Do you intend for economic game play to be part of the cosmic era? Such rule sets have been a part of many RPG systems. In second ed D&D you had the castle guide which allowed you to budget construction of a castle and tax the peasants. . Battletech has a whole arm of core rules for managing a unit, paying salaries and upkeep costs. Westend Star Wars had the Smuggler’s guide which detailed rules for speculative trading and the economics of playing a working space merchant. I think developing your system along those lines might be fun for you.
Go to CommentKrimswoffel and Alicestasia still live in that great house together. Still care for the children. But they are not lovers and they are not friends. They are inmates sharing a prison of regret, and a secret religion of hope that de Vulasier will return someday. Aside from the ever-invading legion of suffering children, the only new visitors they ever seem to have are a flock of cawing white ravens.
Go to CommentPretty darn good, I enjoyed the pulpy tale at the beginning. The phrases and pacing dug into the genre like a flesh spike into The Storm Kings thigh. But then you switched it up by giving us another pulpy little story. This second story really doesn't connect to the first story, and thus lacks bite (get it? teeth, bite...bah). I like the mini world you presented and enjoyed reading this.
Go to CommentFinally watched this movie and I will start by saying that I will not try and fat shame this lizard. But I ask where was the shame in this movie. What this movie did though was drop theme of many movie in which monsters represent a punishment of man's sins or crimes.
To your comments:
1) Would you rather have a movie were Godzilla came out of nowwhere? Having Monarch around allowed from some condensed story telling and in specualtive fiction movies part of the appeal is to create a reality in which there are many stones to unturn. Having Monarch allows the story tellers to unpack material quickly and to say that it is just the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps your complaint doesn't lie in that Monarch wasn't developed enough but rather the first half of the movie really didn't connect to the second half of the movie.
(Nothing about how close the ships were to Godzilla made sense.)
2) This brings up the death of Bryan Cranston. Agreed his death was a weak link in the story. But not because we weren't going to get any more of his hokey disaster movie over acting but because the movie never bookended to his death. (at least I think it didn't...also did I use a double negative there?). There was never any evidence in the second half of the movie that son had reconnected to his father or gained some emotional closure. The same was true with his kid and his wife. There wasn't a scene in which everything came full circle. I know sometimes when movie try to hit these narrative beats and misstep it is so dissaterous that you wish they hadn't even tried. Maybe there was a scene and they cut it. But Bryan Cranston's death meant nothing in the film and his character's echo location insight was a just sign post in the story. Anybody could have put it up. Agreed his death was handled badly. That his son was wooden I didn't mind. I thought it kind of worked in the movie actually, it would have been exhausting if every time the shit inexplicably caught up to him we had another emotional peak. In fact compared to how cheesey and over wrought the performances in the first part of the movie were I found him a relief.
3) The important part with Watanabe , was he HAD to do TWO things. You needed the first guy to say "Godzilla" to be Japanese. WE NEEDED IT. Second you needed somebody to look at a screen or out a window and slowly take off his glasses as he wrestles with the new reality of the situation. WE NEEDED IT. As for a visceral scientist...well none of the characters in the movie were really guys driving with their dicks. I liked that, bring back the '2001', 'close encounters of the third kind' scientists. But as Godzilla's only cheerleader in the film you had to have him be quiet. If he was loud and hubris filled we would have wanted to fail or at least thought he was nuts. But you are right one could have given him more personality. Give him a couple 1 minute personal scenes like they did with the three principles in the Rock or tell him to act like Robert Downey Jr.
4) You're right...if only Joel Schumacher had been available or maybe Baz Luhrmann.
6) I didn't mind the giant bats. The fact that they called them parasites really had no bearing on the film, so yeah it goes with the movies general haphazard storytelling of throwing facts up and then forgetting about them. But the Muto was way better than Mothra and Mothra's larva. Somebody had to say it. (there were parasites caused they laid their eggs in megafauna)
7) It was disaster movie. But not a very good one.
Why can't we discuss Strolen Submission with this type of depth?
Go to CommentThe characters are given the task of transporting a flask of highly volatile liquid a long distance. The flask cannot be shaken too much or it will explode. The adventure involves stormy sea-voyages, bumpy cart rides through densely populated towns and horseback combat. In short there are many opportunities for it to break and explode.
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