This is fantastic. It is filled with desirous and vibrant story telling and roleplaying opportunities abound. I also adore the material aspects of the piece, the little sacred mirror thing, excellent touch. Makes me want to write fan-fiction about one of these guys.
I think the voice works. But if I were to step from this a bit, I wonder academically how another voice would have played. When did fantasy writing get wedded to this this gothic, passive and almost vedic style of writing? It works here because I think we expect this sort of long sentence passive voice style of writing for this type of work.Go to Comment
I like this one, but what I like about it is less the character (she is almost all history and equipment with no direct view of personality. Very much a Scras character.) and more the glimpse into a world. I'm with Mageek, the use of Remora title was cool.
This reminds me of that god awful Battletech novel, "Close Quarters" in which the main character was a female scout who ran along side the mechs with a rifle and a radio (looking for the mech that killed her parents). But unlike this character, the battletech scout does wear a bikini (at least in the first battle).Go to Comment
The teaser really made this for me. I am a sucker for in world voices and perspective.
But let me see if I get this right about the stones. A single stone exist in two realities but functions only as a one-way door. Thus stone A existing in reality A&B provides travel from reality A to B but does not provide travel from B to A. Or do you take the stone with you when you jump?
I like the idea of the stone existing in both realities at the same time, but working like a one-way door. That way they always have potential as a plot device Then these stones could used a form of execution or a religious object. Imagine a cult that had one of these stones and used it for human sacrfice. Sending each victim to another reality. But let us say one of these victims finds the return trip stone. Then you get the dead returning, maybe not in the same spot, maybe not in the same time, but into the same reality.
As game a tool these are a good kickstarters for a game or a character. Let us say one of your players wants to play an anthrpomorphic albino tiger who worships the God mistakes and confusion, doesn't work in your world until wait, Tony the Accident Prone cat/cleric stumbles upon a Peresallapides stone. Zap and he stumbles into the Inn.Go to Comment