Strolen\s Citadel content. 
World of Neyathis
Locations  (World)   (Other)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-12 06:19 AM
So I am going on a personal quest to discover Neyathis.

This sub is a meta discussion of the world, "africa sized" land masses and so on. If you are going to break down the forth wall, than I think you should tell more about the process. Why did you write up an ice age continent? How did that help you tell your story or did you just like mammoths. Go to Comment
At Star's End
Plots  (Event)   (Encounter)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-23 06:56 PM

This is great, I really wish I had thought of it and used it years ago. 

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The Wastes
Locations  (Area)   (Desert)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-03-04 09:48 PM
pretty neat, GM voiced and a little meta, but the concept not the writing is strong Go to Comment
Armor of the Last Stand
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-01 02:13 AM
Some ideas for uses for these items...

The PCs put the armor on not knowing its properties and then learn during battle that if that get near death the armor will turn on them

The PCs have to capture somebody wearing this armor alive. Go to Comment
Trapped in a Schemer's Web
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-03-02 04:57 PM

I love the formatting and the writing is a very easy fast paced read that has an excellent deliberate and straight forward style to it.  I am always impressed and envious with how well you communicate your idea.  

But I agree with all the others, the characters aren't really trapped in schemer's web as they are side stepping it.  The PC have nothing to gain by getting involved and no motivation to do so other than clearing their name which as outsiders acused by a golden child of the city, would seem impossible, uncessary and at best a victory of principle only.  

If they aren't interested in clearing their name then the PCs motivation will be to get as far away from the plot as possible.  Perhaps a good courtly intrigue plot draws the characters into the plot rather than drives them away.  As Vlad said, it is a railroad plot and the PCs should just run away.  unless this is about clearing the PC's name. Yet the focus of this write up is not on clearing the PCs name, but shuffling them through a castle on a tour of The Five posts.  

The intergration of the five does really just come as a gallery rather than a real weaving of the ideas into a story.  The is best exemplified in the encounter with Blossom of Rage and the Kyth.  As you have it written the smartest play would be for the PCs to sit and watch.   Ara the blade just knocks them out leaves the story the and the write up does not give the PCs a path into Espeth's life or web.  So there is a web and plot here but the story you have outlined seems to be the Free Parking-Advace to GO path around the board. 


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Dal Nastro
Locations  (Ruins)   (Mountains)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 07:38 AM
I would say this writing style lacks a real thoughtfulness. The narrator makes observations like the "Dizione Mountains are considered pure wilderness", and
"The war between Ezzurro and the Marebs was a surprisingly violent ". I assume he means is referring to "main stream" society. But more likely Scras is using the GM voice, in which one tells players what their characters are likely to know and then relate the imagery to them in modern and real word terms (Appalachian mountains, temple of Athena), like giving stage direction to actors. But the audience is not players it is GMs,
"the trip through the forest and over the low mountains should be a mini-adventure of it’s own. There is no shortage of wildlife, and it can be as mundane (bears, timberwolves, badgers) or as exotic (green forest wyrms, timberwing eagles, grumpy ents) as you like."
The idea comes across , but I would not praise this writing. Go to Comment
Dal Nastro
Locations  (Ruins)   (Mountains)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 07:40 AM
I like this idea and would like to see it fully realized in some a story or fully developed adventure plan. I keep picturing the New RIver Gorge. This is a great jumping off point. Go to Comment
Dal Nastro
Locations  (Ruins)   (Mountains)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 03:53 PM
I think this could be the center piece for a whole campaign or story line, not just some neat place character wander across. What if one of the characters is a Mareb-but doesn't know their legacy? Go to Comment
Mareb Statues
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Artistic/Performance)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 07:48 AM
I like this quite a bit, so they are humanish...elves, I thought from the other story that you might emphasize their non-human appearance. How much memory do you imagine these statues possess? Go to Comment
Chards Folly
Plots  (Mystical)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-08-28 12:30 PM
I have been waiting to vote on this, maybe I will knock it up the highest Exp.

Like many plots that are fun for GMs to write, I am wondering how this one has played out. I could see a lot of players finding this anti-climatic or not providing solid enough motivation. Player want a chance to be heroic, effective, funny and clever. This certainly offers them funny and it can offer quite a bit of clever. But the chances for heroism are limited in that this seems to be a battle between egos of power elite (gods vs dragons). It is hard to have a lot of sympathy for either one. That said I like the plot, and would like to try some variation of it on my group. It is also really well written and on top contains so much information and excellent ideas that using it piece might be just as good if not better than following the whole plot as it is laid out. I have seen plots I like better but I have never seen a better plot submission.

Did you ever play this? Go to Comment
Chards Folly
Plots  (Mystical)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-01-12 01:25 PM
I entered a version of this plot into my campaign world. How my campaign is set up is that player pick a chose plots from the game world based on what they encounter. Thus far the players are aware of the Dragon (and that he appears to be accident prone or at least disadvantaged), they are aware that an accomplished follower of the God of Luck and Thieves (had to use another god) has gone missing. I am still waiting to see if they take an interest in either one of these facts or if I need to drop more hints. Go to Comment
Chards Folly
Plots  (Mystical)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-10-25 10:19 PM
Campaign ended a couple of months ago, they never took up the mystery of the sickly dragon. I just don't think they trusted dragons. I was dissappointed, should have railroaded them into it. Go to Comment
Xindarli, the Woman in White
NPCs  (Major)   (Mercantile)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-01-11 05:43 PM
This F*@%ing fantastic.

Points of praise

Sweep of time, you give us whole epic story in a really concise presentation. If we were to look at this as a gaming resource you just increased the usefullness by at least 4, by allowing the gamers or the DM to step in at any point.

Tone: You kept a solid voice through out, I think Moonhunter has a point about this being done, but the strong prose makes for nice read and smooth presentation of information.

Personality: You gives us a lot of details about her, but you also leave her depths somewhat blank. There is a word for that dramatic theory, I forget it, but a somewhat blank character with only a few details, makes said character more accessible to the audience. Go to Comment
Model XX Nova Cannon
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-09 09:38 PM

This is a really good space weapon, I love the detail. So I assume you envision the the plasma projectile moving slower than light.  

I can already hear the players debating it merits.

Reasonable Player "It takes up too much space and has a low rate of fire"

Excitable Player "Yeah but only need to fire it once"

Meta-Player "The GM isn't going to let you take a bad guy with one shot, I don't care how big the gun is"


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Hyperprojection Drive
Systems  (Transportation)   (Defining)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-04 09:47 AM
That is one condescending lecturer. I like the idea of riding in shadowships.

Do you need to polarize the 4D light?

Does the Shadowship have mass?

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Emma Stewart's Husk
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (City/ Ruin)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-04-13 01:12 PM
This is really good, I thought the story was interesting and, although brief, was well structured.

Nothing wrong with brief. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-17 09:38 PM
this is fantastic,

has somebody used this in game yet?

What was the response?

Really great and well put, the little bits of dialog are cheesy which only makes the text that much more unnerving. Go to Comment
The Empty Children
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-18 01:25 PM

creepy, really more flavor for villian than anything, but it is an improvement over normal children

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Bag of beholding
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-11-01 05:29 PM

I like it, straight to the point.

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Parasite Fighter
Items  (SpaceShips)   (Combat)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-10-14 09:47 PM

I like this idea and could be used in a number of settings.  The idea of sticking the fusion generator into the womb got me interested in the sci-fi aspect and the writing flair brought me home.  

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