Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Crown of Pier Point
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-10-15 08:19 AM


This would be a much better post if the language wasn't so choppy and coarse.  The item doesn't really come alive the way it is written, and the story of the crown reads like a list of happenings.  But it is still a solid idea. 


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Queen Yocasta
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-10-15 08:16 AM


I am starting on the whole Valermore thread (you should really link these subs via hypertext).  This is excellent start, the queen is described simply in terms of her motivations and her actions.  There some roughly written parts, such as the teaser...who is in the veil? It is princess, but you start the teaser by discussing the Queen's appearance and then you go to pronouns in the last sentence.  The obvious choice for antecedent is the Queen and not the princess. 



 



I also really like that you gave the NPC as  a whole character arch, distinguishing between her nature at different points in her life. 


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Petra
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-02 03:12 PM
Nice, what DD said. Go to Comment
The Ruined City
Locations  (Any)   (City)
axlerowes's comment on 2006-09-22 01:38 PM
Thief of the Queen
Plots  (Nature)   (Single-Storyline)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-06 09:23 AM
This is an okay idea, better haps better employed as an idea seed or stub. Go to Comment
Magenta Rose
Items  (Other)   (Campaign Defining)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-06-02 11:46 AM
This daily highlight comes from a different time on the citadel. It has core idea which is nice enough. The rose bush is a nice plot idea and could be interesting starting point for some intellectual excursions into how this barometer might work. Does the Rose bush see the future? Does it mystically poll public opinion? Does it track the exchange rate between currencies and trade goods? What is a healthy relationship between Elves and Humans? Does the rose bush take into account the author's disrespect for human culture? If Elven culture begins to dominate human culture is that healthy? Is the Rose bush biased? I don't think the specific answers matter, but the in game exploration could be interesting. This is a good candidate for a 100 word rework. Go to Comment
The Troll Nose Ring
Items  (Jewelry)   (Non-Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-03-14 04:16 PM


who knew the the troll nose had such solid place in our collective unconsciousness?  I love it. 



 



Clear (ish), amusing and direct. 



 


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Journey of Magic
Plots  (Crisis)   (Mini-Campaign)
axlerowes's comment on 2006-09-13 05:17 PM
This more of a NPC than a plot. Maybe if the girl had some special info. about her lost land or the nature of magic.

Maybe the girl herself can be a "map". Go to Comment
The Wheezing Dragon
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2006-09-30 03:01 PM
I going to try this, my party would be divided between talking the gold, killing the dragon some combination of the two, but really an open-end conclusion and a classic set up makes for good and unpredictable roleplaying. Go to Comment
The Sword Elanzer
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Heroic)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-01-27 10:33 AM


Ah yes the fabled sword of dragon slaying.  It might be interesting to place in your game world a magic sword of absurd but finite power and then apply all the sword stories on strolen's citadel to it.  A sword that had some many different yet similar tales would indeed be ancient and enigmatic.



 The text was a little disjointed, and it brings nothing new to the magic sword genre, but I like that you came back four years later to update it.  


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The Charter
Plots  (Discovery)   (Single-Storyline)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-06 02:39 PM
I know I have read this before, sorry I didn't vote. Anyway as they (they being manfred say short direct plot setup. Go to Comment
Haven Fortress
Locations  (Fortification)   (Water)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-10-20 04:51 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Chimeric Ring
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2006-09-22 12:42 PM
Shadoweagle raised some strong points, but what roleplaying opportunities does the use of the item provide a PC.

Example A: A virtuous character gets the ring and now can kick some major ass, and get his bling on at the same time. Sometimes loading up your character with magic is a good way to light a fire under their ass. But this would hold true for all powerful magic items.,

Example B: A good meaning but flawed character gets the ring, and the ring locks the character in a closet with a box of cigars-so to speak. So the character must quest to lift the curse or be stuck an having item rewrite his character. Maybe this good be interesting, (i.e. you could give the Laconic character a chance to chase women) but what roleplayer likes to have their character's persona affected by an item.

Example C: A base character gets the item, and notices when he hads another vice or his vices ridden impulses get stronger. Then the ring kills him. Go to Comment
Fontis Stone
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2011-05-16 04:04 PM
Very nice item, but just on thing bugs me "glows but gives off no light".

Other than that verbal fender bender this is a nice one. These things make nice flavor and set a tone for world and people. You know a

"The work of the people is seen not in the pyramids but in the pottery shards"

take on culture.

Plus, I could certainly see some "Pasta Pot" type disasters springing from these stones were a player or gm in a puckish mood.

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Reverend Fury
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Knowledge/Lore)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-01-08 05:02 PM


the name is a bit cliche, but is easy to remeber and clearly presents the character as righteous and angry and thus is successful.  Indeed the whole character is nothing new, but as a example of an archetype this is good and the details are fairly unique.  I also enjoyed the prose.



 



 


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Knockers Dirty Clothes Place
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-01-05 11:05 PM
Well executed, amusing, and to the point. Go to Comment
Restoration
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-23 04:31 PM


There is spark here, something to build on but nothing to play with



Maybe if the Paladin was fully fleshed out character, maybe if there was some character that could give voice to the significance of the statue then perhaps the need to intervine would pop more. If there was both a Paladin that had worth while traits and an advocate for the statues return that had worth while traits then maybe we would have something to play with. 



 



Then there is the Volcano, I like the idea fo the PCs taking all these risk, betraying their Paladin to commander and traveling miles only to return the statue to a town and culture that is about to be wiped out. That is nice, really nice situation actually. you should really punch that up. 


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Elspeth Kalamath
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-03-02 04:06 PM


The name alone is a worth a sub.  


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Spark
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-03-16 06:25 PM
This is terrific, at first I was turned off by the name, but then I thought of Puck. Really a great submission and I love the way its written 5 of 5. Next time I make a new fantasy world I hope that I can fit this into it.


Oh and the tower that floats cause the god of earth can't see it. Really fantastic touch, has that been done before? Go to Comment
A Gaggle of Wizards
Plots  (Duty)   (Multi-Storyline)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-01-27 05:17 PM


This has very classic feel to it, so much that I can almost taste the adolescent game table irony along with flat mountain dew and crap take out food.  Thank you for that.  



 



Fun and playful. 


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