Strolen\s Citadel content. 
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-26 11:29 AM
I like the idea that the priest robes are tattered remains of the old emperors clothing. You the get the point across and it is clear that you are trying to give us a mytho-historical figure

These are some general thoughts, not a list of "I hate this" questions.
I think you unnecessarily hamstrung this write up. If you are writing about the historical view of a person is different than writing about the person.

Why not write up the person?

If you are writing this for other GMs why assume that game use is only going to be at the time of your choosing?

Would have you written this different if the character was "a contemporary" citizen Neyathis?

You are not constrained by the fog of history and thus this fog of history aspect to the write up is only an affectation. Go to Comment
Wizard's Challenge
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-07-24 01:57 PM
I used half of this, last week

I gave them the first three rooms. The first challenge was resolved with some difficulty because one character could not easily answer the question (a nice roleplaying moment though)-"what does she want?". This lead to a brief fractioning of the party.

The second room went just as you had layed out and went over well.

The third room, I changed the walls of the maze to be "undead" walls made from stone and corpses. The walls would attack anyone who got within their fit the undead theme of this tower better. But the shifting maze confused half the party for a good ten minutes. When you ran this did you show them the maps or just describe the surroundings? Some of the PCs had a hard to time visualizing the quickly shifting enviornment, how did you handle the mechanics of this? The shift walls also split the party again. The one half the party used a run, scout and shout method which worked well until they encountered the minotaurs. The other half the party moved as close to the ladder as possible each time and then waited for shifts. One character tried to climb the walls. Climbing the walls didn't work but both of the other methods allowed the PCs to work the maze out. I used a grid system to keeps track of the PCs between map. Go to Comment
Raid on Tantalus IV
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-05 02:39 PM
Edit: In the briefing "employer" does not wish to be named, not employee.

A little better organization would really improve on what is already an exceptional post. Detailing the plan (aka waypoints) that you have in mind the for the PCs would make it an easier read.

Also are the PC undercover or are they burglars? They seem to be a little bit of both in different scenes. You suggest they may have to avoid cameras and such when the train breaks down, but the Keepers take them junior guardians.

Finally the last room. Does the Liberty command not know the Mimints took the station, and do they not know about the prototype room? Do they not care?

I like the mission and the background a lot, and this sub deserves a high score. But the plot could use some fleshing out, and you seem to detail a lot of the red-herrings more than the major action points. Go to Comment
30(+) Walking Dead
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-03 09:07 PM
This is a great resource, it is almost 30 zombie back stories, I wish I had this years ago. Go to Comment
Evil Camels in Space
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Space)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-15 09:40 PM

You had me with the teaser

Go to Comment
Evil Camels in Space
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Space)
axlerowes's comment on 2016-03-13 03:58 PM
still got me Go to Comment
Diamonds and the Deluge
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Rooms/ Halls)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 07:14 AM
very nicely put together, simple really, the only things I would add:
some hints about the spirits of the drowned before scene five
some mechanism to reveal that the noble's ancestors were responsible for the flood.

Go to Comment
The Gunman
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-28 10:39 PM
This no more fiction than most of the stuff at the Citadel, and if I had to pick a place for it, I would say toss it in books and scrolls. We could have a media section.

This being said this is fantastic, it comments on the action series and add culture the world of the players. One of the advantage of pre-formed settings like battletech, is that players and GMs can come together with a lot of shared knowledge of their settings. I think you could write a whole story or plot using this as a backdrop.
Go to Comment
The Gunman
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-28 11:45 PM

Angus Murphy Ph.D. was granted his doctoral degree by Savonburgh for  his dissertation on the Gunman. 

 His hypothesis was that the 

“Gunnman shifted the vocabulary of mech warrior conflict away from horrific violence and towards entertainment.  It also placed the mech warrior into the arena of the common man. Prior to the Gunman all mech warrior fiction was pure proganda. In those story lines mech warriors descended from wealthy noble houses defended the honor of their nation states. Because Michael Long was a peasant who became a mech warrior to defend his home, he changed the focus of Battlemech violence from political to personal.”   

As part of his thesis Angus Murphy assembled some of the more popular memes born from the series. Here are some excerpts from Murphy's dissertation regarding popular quotations associated with the show and his view of their meanings..

“Two particle cannons, no waiting” 


Long said this line in episode 9 of the 1st season right before engaging an entire company of medium mechs.  This line is commonly uttered by men with both fist raised and was also adopted as the motto of pit-fighter Na Phun Koo who won a record 14 titles on the world of Barras.

“I only need heat sinks when women are around.”  

The character of Long never actually spoke this during the series, but it is still commonly attributed to the show.  It is linked to that fact, that in the series Long’s Warhammer only had problems with over heating when he was battling the character of Kruppa.  Long had five battles with Kruppa during the first three seasons and each ended with Kruppa running out of ammo and Long overheating. 

“Here is a tactic for you, shoot them first and shoot them more often.” 

This was Long’s response to a career officer from Capellan-March who is lecturing Long’s militia on battlefield tactics. This line uttered in episode 2 of season 2 formalizes the visceral and intuitive nature of Long’s character as a contrast to the unpopular Nobility. It is of note though that Long does eventually bond with the officer character by the end of the episode.  

“A great mech deserves a great pilot, you are the only one I’d let in my cockpit.”

 In the 11th episode of season 6, Kruppa and Long find themselves isolated together during a major invasion and Long suffers a head injury. Kruppa comes to his aid but he is unable to use the neural uplink. He allows Kruppa to pilot his Warhammer. This line is often repeated as a whole or in parts.  One of the underlying themes of the Gunman series was that Battlemechs represented the character's id.  Thus by allowing Kruppa into his Battlemech, Long is surrendering his basic needs and desires to her. 

Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
axlerowes's comment on 2011-04-08 02:12 AM

Minor speaks more to the amount of effort put into this piece than the role of this race in any game. If something has the feel of minor race, it will also feel contrived, the soul of a good or great role playing setting is that every stone you over turn reveals an entire universe of possiblities. When we start writing dead ends we lose that. Go to Comment
Servitor Imps
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-10 04:58 PM
Having an easy to summon water downed demon in your binder could be a good think and the concept and description are simple enough to be easily intergrated, understood and played with. Go to Comment
My Travels in the Lands of the Pyromancers
Locations  (Ruins)   (Desert)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-01-01 02:55 PM
This is a great strobe light style explanation of the location. It makes want to play in this game. It is even more interesting because these are old pictures; describing the ruins before they are ruins. Thus, it leaves us with many hanging questions, that is much an entreat as it is an explaination. I can't give this enough praise both for the style and ideas in it. Go to Comment
World of Neyathis
Locations  (World)   (Other)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-12 06:19 AM
So I am going on a personal quest to discover Neyathis.

This sub is a meta discussion of the world, "africa sized" land masses and so on. If you are going to break down the forth wall, than I think you should tell more about the process. Why did you write up an ice age continent? How did that help you tell your story or did you just like mammoths. Go to Comment
At Star's End
Plots  (Event)   (Encounter)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-02-23 06:56 PM

This is great, I really wish I had thought of it and used it years ago. 

Go to Comment
The Wastes
Locations  (Area)   (Desert)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-03-04 09:48 PM
pretty neat, GM voiced and a little meta, but the concept not the writing is strong Go to Comment
Armor of the Last Stand
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-01 02:13 AM
Some ideas for uses for these items...

The PCs put the armor on not knowing its properties and then learn during battle that if that get near death the armor will turn on them

The PCs have to capture somebody wearing this armor alive. Go to Comment
Trapped in a Schemer's Web
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-03-02 04:57 PM

I love the formatting and the writing is a very easy fast paced read that has an excellent deliberate and straight forward style to it.  I am always impressed and envious with how well you communicate your idea.  

But I agree with all the others, the characters aren't really trapped in schemer's web as they are side stepping it.  The PC have nothing to gain by getting involved and no motivation to do so other than clearing their name which as outsiders acused by a golden child of the city, would seem impossible, uncessary and at best a victory of principle only.  

If they aren't interested in clearing their name then the PCs motivation will be to get as far away from the plot as possible.  Perhaps a good courtly intrigue plot draws the characters into the plot rather than drives them away.  As Vlad said, it is a railroad plot and the PCs should just run away.  unless this is about clearing the PC's name. Yet the focus of this write up is not on clearing the PCs name, but shuffling them through a castle on a tour of The Five posts.  

The intergration of the five does really just come as a gallery rather than a real weaving of the ideas into a story.  The is best exemplified in the encounter with Blossom of Rage and the Kyth.  As you have it written the smartest play would be for the PCs to sit and watch.   Ara the blade just knocks them out leaves the story the and the write up does not give the PCs a path into Espeth's life or web.  So there is a web and plot here but the story you have outlined seems to be the Free Parking-Advace to GO path around the board. 


Go to Comment
Dal Nastro
Locations  (Ruins)   (Mountains)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 07:38 AM
I would say this writing style lacks a real thoughtfulness. The narrator makes observations like the "Dizione Mountains are considered pure wilderness", and
"The war between Ezzurro and the Marebs was a surprisingly violent ". I assume he means is referring to "main stream" society. But more likely Scras is using the GM voice, in which one tells players what their characters are likely to know and then relate the imagery to them in modern and real word terms (Appalachian mountains, temple of Athena), like giving stage direction to actors. But the audience is not players it is GMs,
"the trip through the forest and over the low mountains should be a mini-adventure of it’s own. There is no shortage of wildlife, and it can be as mundane (bears, timberwolves, badgers) or as exotic (green forest wyrms, timberwing eagles, grumpy ents) as you like."
The idea comes across , but I would not praise this writing. Go to Comment
Dal Nastro
Locations  (Ruins)   (Mountains)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 07:40 AM
I like this idea and would like to see it fully realized in some a story or fully developed adventure plan. I keep picturing the New RIver Gorge. This is a great jumping off point. Go to Comment
Dal Nastro
Locations  (Ruins)   (Mountains)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-12-15 03:53 PM
I think this could be the center piece for a whole campaign or story line, not just some neat place character wander across. What if one of the characters is a Mareb-but doesn't know their legacy? Go to Comment
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