Maybe we need to some discussion about how this text is realized in the world? It is written on walls and memorized, but by who? How is the text interpreteted? If you want to keep it open ended and don't want to give it a more "generic" utility you could give several examples of how it has been used in your game or in the world you designed it for. Go to Comment
I read the linked subs regarding this post, and they are very promising and peak my interest even more. I like the ideas behind the world. I recognize that it is a formible formating issues to make all those concepts that you have developed for your world into intresting stand alone posts. Good luck. Go to Comment
I usually shy away from "Cute magic" and in my opinion extra dimensional space is deal changer in all games, but this is fantastic. In my younger gaming days, things like this were the end all of be all of the fantasy setting. I like the plot attached, the mechanics of the item and the presentation is wonderful. Really a useable submission well put together and with fun tone to the piece. Go to Comment
This is so very close to being a great post and item. For all the flowery writing-it is nicely written- it comes out to nothing more than a powerful weapon that destroys its user-which is not an originial idea and most DMs will put into their campaign anyway. This entry doesn't give quite enough to make me want this to be that item in my campaign. Punch up the detail on the object and the experince of using it, but keep the obscureness regarding its role in the world and its past. Or bring in some more aspects to make this a unique item. Go to Comment
I am going to go with Moonlake in that this is a solid idea and it is useable-plus I liked it. it is reasonably unique-the evil oil slick has been done-but combined with your post about it origins, I think this is something I may use.
Don't be afraid to break the forth wall a bit, perhaps at the end of the post, to give us gamemaster perspective or some plot hooks. But it is fine without those, but I think game use or plot hook sections would add a different dimension to this piece.
The second to last paragraph in the Appearance and Behavior section could use a rewrite.
But on the whole I really like it. It hints at something larger and has an interesting atmosphere. Go to Comment
"In an effort to satisfy this ambiguous desire he will begin seeking out the activities he enjoyed previously and, though they bring him no happiness now, take them to extremes. He may drink incredible amounts, light things on fire, seek the company of lewd women, or pick fights in back alleys." Thus assume his pleasures were women, drink, violence or flame. I can imagine a more chilling reality....
The victim starts writing an esoteric chrome and setting heavy RPG campaign and then forces all his friends to play it, and whats worse that due to Imp Fire he will be totally disgusted with the way everyone plays and how they keep ruining his campaign and talking during his descriptions of fungus, temples or an NPC's clothing. Are you sure this isn't a real thing.
I think this is a solid idea as MJS says but I think the sub is badly put together and just a long ramble of ideas.
The descriptions of possible cures are not necessary, they take up to much space, they are unorganized and that would really be up to the GM anyway. The description of the disease seems to jump around a bit, discussing how a man with Imp Fire leaves a village in flame but not so much how, but later we may infer it is because his touch set things on fire. Is it because his personality becomes that of a fire, he consumes things and moves on? Does he also take the path of least resistance?
You could make this into a plot, but if you want of focus on the nature of the curse, than I would call this an item. Spells, diseases, and things metaphysical (if not material) I think can safely go into the item box. Go to Comment
Erf brings up some good points, and I think the piece could be tightened up a bit.
Paragraphs 4,5,6 are unnecessary, I know that they give examples of the type of battle tactics the Order of the Lost but they are full all the wrong details and they lack any dramatic form or colorful imagery. (A bunch of Knights walking out naked is kind of funny, but without large context it falls flat).
I like this idea a lot thanks, but as you have it now it is little more than a pub idea.
Things I think that would make this a useful post, I don't think all are necessary but you could develop along one these routes
A) A solid look at the logistics of this order, how do they eat, what are their numbers, whats the order of battle, who is in charge and what are they good at-GMs may want to adapt many things are their own but if you can do the grunt work of logistics, I think most GMs find that helpful and you can tell a lot about people by looking at their spending habits.
B) Day to day life in the order
C) What would my first day in the order be like?
D) Subplots, how do tough fighting peasants mix with Usurped Kings, fallen Paladins and Ronin?
E) Chrome details, what does the castle look like, what do these 1000 men look like crossing a battle field, other than Black shields in Mountain passes we go nothing. Go to Comment
This is excellent and useful and it goes a long way to imposing subtle mysticism to the swamps, much in the way such feelings of personification and humbling complexity are actually felt. I really like the chance you took with the "wonderful vagueness", as others have said good speculative fiction works as springboard for the reader's idea not as a complete story. I think that is really true for RPG directed writing.
This is an excellent idea and I enjoy the flippant tone of the piece. These sorts of narrative devices have a long tradition in the old morality tales of the middleages and the disturbing fables used to scare children into obeidence. The game uses of these are endless.
A PC could ingest this and then have the challenge of not overeacting to things. The Passion Purge could be a very useful hammer for the GM who wants to force a player to explore a different emotion or a character they want to blow up.
The PCs could have to escort a person of importance (or royal child if you are feeling very dark that day) who has a tendcey towards indignation. The villians could then find a way to get Mr. McGuffin to ingest the Passion Purge. Now the PCs have to keep him safe and calm.
The placebo effect of this thing is also something that could be explored with a light hand. Passion purge could be used to expose the realtive shallowness of activists. The so called burning hearts could be fed an exiler very much like passion purge and once they believe they have ingested the passion purge they simply shrug off the cause of the endangered flame fowl or the Holy Firestick registration act.
Finally there is a suicide bomber angle, which is perhaps best left unexplored. But a fatalistic army could ingest the passion purge before entering battle and then, god's willing, hold back their rage until the enemy is upon them. It would also make the army easier to manage until the time of battle, assuming your seargents were easy with the lash.
I do feel that the use of this is limited to historical fantasy setting. The item could not be used in any setting that has an internet or similar system. The surest way to destory a city would be spike the water system and give everybody free internet. The conflictual attitudes, the superserious logic, cultural narrowness and the anomyous arrogance of chat rooms, message boards and massive multiplayer games would no doubt boil the blood all those on the PP.
This is an excellent submission regardless of how many you have submitted before. Go to Comment
So I take it they behave like domesticated chickens?
But what is your take on the metaphysics of the extra planar beings. When on the "Normal" plain they appear to have had their elemental status diluted over time. Is this because of interbreeding with "normal" birds or is it because over time the mystical essence that characterizes extra planar being fades the longer they are away from their home plain?
Either answer could a be springboard for further investigations into planar crosstalk. (something I find roleplayers to be overly interested in) Go to Comment