I love the narration, I like the story and I like the idea. As a write up for NPC though, you give us history, but you don't give us her. We don't have a sense for her style or current state. Go to Comment

Just noted the update, i think the two paragraphs on how to play her and her likely actions add a lot. Go to Comment

There has been sixth day violation! I like the term an Fetting as an in game reference to the cultural significance of star wars. Go to Comment

I really like the idea of presenting the culture through its media rather that just bluntly listing facts about the culture. But what do we learn about the cosmic era from your re-wrties of Tailspin and Ducktails? From what you write about the cosmic era I would assume that stuff like Tomatoes and Call of Duty: Kids would not be protested or censored. However this makes thinks you want their to be a silent majority in your universe that longs to a return to the 1980s or is that just you? Where do the people of the cosmic era ground their morality? What are the conservatives seeking to conserve or resurrect? Go to Comment

Birth

This popular reality show takes excess women from the arcology, forcefully impregnates them and drops them into a wilderness or unpopulated area.  The women are followed using VR implant chips, micro drones, and satellite surveillance.  This series is praised for exploring and tackling the problems of excess population as well making child birth appear interesting and visceral again.  Women who are able to raise their child to one year of age are removed from the series and integrated into their source arcologoy's population structure. The show has won many industry awards for editing and presentation, a typical 15 minute episode, which often has no dialog outside of the pop music sound track, will successfully capture the magic of birth, the bond of motherhood, the tragedy of loss and the primal fear of living alone outside of an arcology. 

Burn Unit

This unproduced and unstagged reality channel is available 24/7 and follows the activity of the Burn Unit in the Proto-Corp Military Hospital located outside of Kinshasa.  The home audience can select between any of 280 cameras in the burn unit and can download the footage to a personal device for later viewing if desired. The channel was originally sponsor by Proto-Corp but has achieved finical independence by selling pop up ad bombs that will enter the screen while viewing.

Father Knows Best

This scripted comedy follows the adventures of successful arcology housing planner Dutch Leopold. When Dutch isn't masterfully making space and distributing rations for the population of his arcology he is advising his teenage sons on their sexual adventures. The story inevitably ends with his sons unable to satisfy their partners and Dutch coming into the bed room to take the reigns and show the younger boys how it is done.  The show is both praised and panned (depending on one's social leanings) for its championing of conservative values. Father Knows Best is said to set forth this unrealistic or idealistic father son dynamic where in the father has lots of time to spend with his children, a strong interest their well being and there are no inner family conflicts.

 You're Beautiful 

This channel can be streamed while walking anywhere in one of its client arcologies.  It super imposes an image over the surroundings and represents all the objects around the viewer in the arcology but removes unsightly trash, ware and tear or graffiti.  Furthermore it superimposes images of attractive and healthy individuals over the visage of the people in the viewers immediate vicinity.   The channel also adds a layer of interaction, in which  the super imposed icons are all gazing at the viewer with lecherous and desirous expressions. 

Hunley

This loosely scripted comedy follows the adventure of Ben Hunley, a man who won his arc Lottery and now joyously passes his days in his archeology compartment. Viewers watch him watch broadcast programs, watch him play video games and watch him have sex with prostitutes all the while looking at the camera critiquing the product he is using.  Hunely has proved an excellent platform to promote new media and new sexual service providers.  The original Ben Hunley was only streamed in single Lancaster Arcology in England, but since then almost every Arcology has produced its own version of Hunley.  Just one episode of Hunely and you feel a lot better about living in an arcology.

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"Considering the saturation of the media now with sex and violence, what can the Cosmic Era hold?"

Ducktails?

I also call B.S. on you saying you don't want to write a dissertation on the cosmic era. ;)

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Summary (so you know I understood it): The PCs are hired to find a missing explorer who is lost in an inhospitable no mans land called the Craggy Peaks. This plot is outlined in 7 acts and is presented using a straight forward GM's voice/stage direction tone and perspective. During the first act the plot is outlined and the PCs get a chance to touch base with foreshadowing and back story. In the second and third acts the PCs have encounter their main adversary during this journey a foreign military unit called the SOPs. During the fourth act the PCs find a tropical jungle filled cave hidden in the mountains and the explorer they were looking for. She is encased in some sort of stasis moss pit. Then plot the requires that she, the explorer, gets captured shortly after her entrance. Then the plot requires that the PCs get captured. Next the PCs and their captors are moved back to the jungle cave and there the PCs are expected to deduce that the true treasure in the mountains is a thermophilic algae that will make a super fertilizer. The PCs must then escape, and return to their employer with the explorer and perhaps with the algae. If the PCs fail to deduce that the algae was the treasure than no big loss to the plot, the PC's goal was to return the explorer. .

Things I suggest changing or adding:
I really like the structure of the story and the presentation the material. The story is what it is, not point discussing that. So the suggested changes and additions are minor and just points of story telling or communication that could be handled differently.

1) The first thing I would add would be a summary or background section prior to part 1. Just something to lay out the situation to a prospective GM. Like an abstract.

2) Commander Sperrius: I would add an early encounter with commander sperrius. Perhaps Sperrius is at the Castle in Riversend on the first day the PCs are there. He could be part of diplomatic party or trade mission. (Or course he has the motivations for being south). This would allow the PCs to meet him, connect with him and perhaps build some tension between him and the PCs. An early non-lethal encounter with Sperrius would also provide a mechanic by which the PCs can learn about Pila and the SOPs. Two specific things I would do is have at least one of the PCs engage in sparring match with Sperrius and one his subordinates. I would have the matches be tough, so even if the PCs win they will consider Sperrius to be a threat and if they lose the fight they will likely be looking a little payback later. That is also why to include a subordinate, Sperrius is important to the plot, but a subordinate can be defeated without throwing a wrench in the works.
The second thing I would do with Sperrius is present him to the PCs with visible evidence of long past frost bite. Perhaps he is missing part of his nose and few fingers on one hand. He could then tell a story about the Craggy Peaks. This would add foreshadowing to the dangers of the peaks and it would give Sperrius the appearance of having a home court advantage in the later encounters. Any rate having Sperrius be in the first and last act would give more of an arc to the story.

3) The algae: Based on the content of the note/journal entry it may be just as easy to assume that the treasure is the oak tree. As the treasure isn't really intuitive, (it would take months to prove that the algae is the super fertilizer), you may want to provide another mechanism for determining it . If you really want the treasure to be the algae I would add some more details and more in game mechanics or events to help the PCs reach that conclusion. Perhaps there are other hot spring caves, but they don't have the biomass cause they don't have the algae. At any rate, I think that will need a little more unpacking.

4) The SOP encounters may get repetitive. This isn't it a problem so much as a challenge. I think having repeat encounter with the SOPs will actually help hammer in the point and give slower PCs a chance to catch on to the over arching plot. But providing a few more details for these encounters and suggestions on how to keep the encounters fresh would be helpful.

5) The railroading: Anytime you require PCs or NPCs to get captured you have railroad the plot. The important thing in act 5 is to get Sperrius and the explorer in the same room. Perhaps you can write up some other scenarios by which a GM could achieve this.

Overall I find the strongest point of this is it accessible structure. Go to Comment

Don't you think adding more details would make this less accessible to GMs? Go to Comment

Shadoweagle, I don't think I had a good point. You are right a GM can chose to take or ignore what they wish. I think you are also right giving GM other tools that they will have at their disposal will actually make things more accessible. I think your comment implies an excellent point, what makes RPGs special is that you can lift up a random rock in an RPG and the world goes on. RPGs perhaps have a depth that can't be reach in other medias such as video games or movies. I look forward to more details. And I will never accept or make the "more details will make this less accessible argument again!" Go to Comment

Damn, this will well thought out.

I took some notes as I read.

-Will the PCs be able to get maps or histories of the land prior to the blight from sources outside the Blight?

-What do the neighbors of the Blight think, have they been raided, by what

-The guy with his back turned to you eating noisely and he turns to reveal black dead eyes and fangs. This has been done to much, I'd have to change it if I used it this.

-What would a metaphysical investigation of the land determine, detect evil, or detect magic spell and if not a s spell system then what does astral shifting reveal, are their ghosts roaming around?

-So can you talk to these "plants" using magic or forestry abilities?

-How will these people respond to mind control or jedi mind trick type things?

-Can they burn coal or peat?

-The opened ended nature to the PCs is awesome, the sad innkeeper is my favorite.

After this point I got so caught up in the story, I stopped talking notes. This adventure is not exactly my style, and I say that not complain or annoy, but I hope that it will add weight to my personal observation that I have not read anything better than this at the citadel. This is so complete and well organized that I am really jealous. Thank you for writing this, thank you for the appendixes and so on. Thanks for pushing me to read it with your vote exchange. Go to Comment

After reading this, I would only add more details. Go to Comment

Every economic idea has its day. But more than the idea, which is fun and fantastic, I enjoyed the style of writing, there is a story! with a conflict, an arc and humor that goes along with this idea. Not only is it a fun and nicely satirical idea, it is an amusing story as well. Go to Comment

I have always liked this idea. Go to Comment

is the D silent?   Go to Comment

let us see where this imagery takes us

short-dwarf short,
shinning yellow eyes,
androgynous,
commerce minded
sand
desert people
nomadic craftsmen
traveling around in a giant crawling communal dwelling
work with anthropomorphic metallic beings

"I can't abide these Djavarga, disgusting creatures." Go to Comment

They don't have good domesticated men like we civilized folk. What does this say about how civilized men became domesticated? Go to Comment

I ran into the same problem, recently, 100 word subs were derided as being stubs. Go to Comment

Our don't vote, scores are secondary to comments anyway. People don't post here to get gold stars, they post to get feedback right? Go to Comment

why post at all then? why not just write it down and put it on your blog or even just save it to your hard drive. Go to Comment

I have lost tons of stuff with hard drive fails. I feel your pain. But when you, Scras dies and some Ph.D. student working a thesis about your life discovers these spiral notebooks your work will have second life.
Cave paintings would last longer than anything mentioned. Go to Comment