This is fantastic, I completely enjoyed reading it. The voice you used gives us another lay of information on top of the list of facts: we get to see these people in context. Plus the sinister considerations of the narrator add a layer of risk, suspense and intrigue to the piece. The structure is also excellent. Well done makes me want to read more.Go to Comment
I like this little write up. The interview log was fun to read, and while brief I thought that worked as is. I thought the descriptions given in the first person thought bubbles italics were quality. This is an idea seed with some little artistic flourishes. By why the term Genome computer? These types of computers have very little to do with the Genome and Cheka wouldn't be disappointed.
Also what do vending machines look like in the cosmic era? And children, is there a post about families and childrearing in the cosmic era?
Overall I am not sure the idea is developed enough. This is more like a foot note in some larger story Brain's in jar and machine man hybrid. That could have been a 100 word post. I feel like you were going for something larger here, maybe some world building or an atmospheric piece. We get a little mood stuff (which is good) and some world building references to the Tyco convention, a proper noun and the reveal in the CE there is something rotten in Antartica.
recommendations along these lines of brain/machine hybrids and/or brains in jars
There was an adventure story in Galaxy's Edge Magazine Issue 7 (amazon 3.99) called Pallbearers. It was about armored suits and their pilots. The crux of the story was one suit's "Dummy System" and the injured pilot in a suit trying to over come the dummy system.
For real old school dudes (Max) The Ship Who Sang by Anne McCaffery is about a brain in a jar in a ship, and her struggles with grief, art, love, loyalty and all that stuff.
For old school Horror there was Whispers in the Darkness, by H.P. Lovecraft. (A whole shelf full of brains in jar).
Finally in comedy, Steve Martin's movie "The Man with Two Brains"
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This is fantastic. It is filled with desirous and vibrant story telling and roleplaying opportunities abound. I also adore the material aspects of the piece, the little sacred mirror thing, excellent touch. Makes me want to write fan-fiction about one of these guys.
I think the voice works. But if I were to step from this a bit, I wonder academically how another voice would have played. When did fantasy writing get wedded to this this gothic, passive and almost vedic style of writing? It works here because I think we expect this sort of long sentence passive voice style of writing for this type of work.Go to Comment
I like this one, but what I like about it is less the character (she is almost all history and equipment with no direct view of personality. Very much a Scras character.) and more the glimpse into a world. I'm with Mageek, the use of Remora title was cool.
This reminds me of that god awful Battletech novel, "Close Quarters" in which the main character was a female scout who ran along side the mechs with a rifle and a radio (looking for the mech that killed her parents). But unlike this character, the battletech scout does wear a bikini (at least in the first battle).Go to Comment