There are some neat ones in here, I suprised by some of the invitivness on the list.
Sometimes I can't tell if you are trying to use a consistent voice. For example, the entry for Dragon Fire suggests that this whole list is written with a limited in world knowledge. You described Block Fire as overpowered, which could be read as a meta-level description of the spell, plus you mention city blocks which seems a little anachronistic. These bumps might not be so awkward if the voice was made clearer. Go to Comment
I like the voice and the detail, you did a very good job of describing a rather complex physical arrangment of objects.
On a side not, how do you go about mixing physics and modern scientific knowledge into your games? Would accept such things as lights that produce now heat, could you sufficate fire elementals by depriving them of oxygen, and do your fantasy characters even know what oxygen is?
This is fun idea, I like the idea of the giant semi-intelligent hive being. I like how you went into detail of the types of weapons, and the idea of the white admiral is nice touch. It would be fun to write up some wargame scenarios for the cosmic era. How much work would it be to pull together some basic rules for movement and damage and then start drawing up some units. We could do the Amerkia Command Infantry units, Pacific Rim flight mechs, a couple parapyschic command units, that could be neat.
As to the writing:
I suggest changing the opening sentence. If this was a work of non-fiction it would be described as "fact explosion'. As it is a work of fiction you need to add just enough specific details to offer versimilitude but enough to be dull and estoric.
"it's something of an old sailor's tale from the Pacific, most of the time the only people who know these stories are the the Hakka PROPER NOUN, Tanka PROPER NOUN, and Hoklo boat people of Southeast Asia PROPER NOUN, mercenaries and subvsersives of the Python Patrol PROPER NOUN, and the fleet intelligence communities of the Eurasian Alliance (Submarine Fleet) PROPER NOUN PacRim Coalition (Micronesia Fleet Arm) PROPER NOUN, and the Atlantic Federation (Space Intelligence) PROPER NOUN."
If this was a work non-fiction this would be what is called a 'fact explosion'. All these names are numbing and become meaningless. Plus you don't reference back to them in a meaningful way. Go to Comment
Why would any of the Machiavellian rulers in the Pacific Rim or the Atlantic Confederation think twice about installing these in all the plebs? Who are these moral voices judging things as barbaric? Go to Comment
You didn't answer the question at all. you went on to some tangent on the USA's moral failings. In your response you have argued, and I accept, that it is possible to have a regime that is on one hand morally and socially progressive and then brutally oppressive with the other hand. But that is not what i asked. I asked why?
I could attempt to explain the sources of contradiction in modern western social policy, but that may not be directly applicable to this fictional setting you have been pontificating on for ten years. And I wonder why, without an involved populace, elections, nepotism, spiritual or philosophical institutions, or a free consumer based economy why the ATfed or PRR would be the moral torchbears?
On another level how does having these moral institutions or sensibilities fit into your storytelling? Do you need social definitions of human rights thrown into the cosmic era?
But again, I only give as much of shit about this as much as you do. So if you are fine with it, cool, but if you want to play back-and-forth with this setting I am here.
so lets try again,
What are the social and economic forces that push the Atlantic federation to be the torch bears of western civilization?
The blood of a dragon is vital in the creation of potions of longevity. The liver could used to cure any disease or ailment, while the heart could restore a PC to full and complete health, despite their age, or injury.