VERY disturbing. Just imagine how awkward a conversation starter THAT would be? "So, what happened to you last night, Margaret?" "Oh, the usual- a giant crow tore my lover's testicles off and raped me." ".... I see... Er, I just remembered that I have something to do on the other side of town. Toodle-oo!"
Awesome. These guys remind me of a type of creature from the Graham McNeill Warhammer 40,000 novel Dead Sky, Black Sun. In that books, there are these massive flocks of creatures on a Chaos world that are built out of a dark iron framework that is then covered in the flayed skins of criminals. The souls of those very criminals are then trapped inside the creatures, who now hunt anything with a heartbeat relentlessly. They're able to sense the presence of the living by listening to their heartbeat (in the book, the main characters manage to avoid them by using a special Space Marine drill to lower their heartbeat drmatically- one heartbeat nearly got them killed, and the shock of having it shoot back in their system still nearly killed them). Awesome! Go to Comment
I'm suddenly reminded of a Discworld moment, where a number of soldiers (who are all actually women masquerading as men) are preparing to go as women once again, and need to arm themselves for the coming attempt. The main character looks at a friend and says," You can't seriously be thinking about bringing that!" The woman replies by saying, "What? A woman can't bring a paring knife?" "... That's a saber." "A surprisingly large paring knife!"
They could've used this. Great work! Down with the nobility! Go to Comment
I've generally taken to not commenting on your works- not out of some stupid grudge, but mainly because I end up making an ass out of myself.
However, I feel the need to violate that rule to say this: pretty damn cool!
I like the idea of the Kan-Yow being able to create replicants of themselves to do things for them- one possible quest line could involve an evil sorceror attemptin to gain this ability from the Kan-Yow. Say that he does, but is then killed- however, the clones are still around, and have begun to feud over who gains his dark domain! If it's a group of evil NPC's, they could be looking at this as a way to further their own dark intentions...
One more thing: Moonhunter, you really do seem to have a thing for elves, eh ,mate? Go to Comment
To be honest, this is pretty damn funny to me. It's about damn time someone explained while male elves look just like the women! Man, just imagine the sheer frustration that could be caused to some poor human ranger walking through the city...
"Ah, I dunno Steve, this place is pretty hard to find your way aroun- hey, wait, a local! Excuse me, ma'am?"
"What? I'm a guy, asshole."
"Oh, really? Sorry, sorry. Okay, miss, what about you? Could you give us directions?"
"Uh, NO. I'm also a man. Jeepers, you're rude."
"Well, at least you're nicer than the first guy..."
"You called HIM a girl? My honey?"
"Oh- oh gods, I think I just puked a little. Christ, is ANYONE around here what they appear to be!? YOU!!!"
"WHAT THE HELLS ARE YOU!?"
"Oh, me? I'm a girl."
"Ugh, about time I found someone who looked like a chick and WAS one.... Uh, what's up with the fan-club?"
"Oh, them? They're just trying to figure out which one gets to sleep with me."
"Uh-huh. Well, have fun with that. I'm sick of this damn place. Screw you guys, I'm going someplace NORMAL." Go to Comment
Yeah, the Theban Sacred Band, right mate? It's true that all of the men in that unit were homosexual lovers, but in the rest of Greece, I've never heard of homosexuality in the ranks being ENCOURAGED. Definitely not discouraged, but not encouraged. Go to Comment
Another question: is there any history of the Aroi falling in love with people from other races? That could also cause some chaos in the elven realm. With so few women about, the Kian and Kiannae would no doubt be outraged at the prospect of some barbarian outsider coming in and stealing what few maidens they have! That would be an interesting situation, probably involving Kian spec-ops units dropping into the honeymoon to kill the man and "rescue" the woman. Funny as hell! Go to Comment
Heh. I've yet to ever see an elven submission where the elves WEREN'T smug, superiorist buggers who think that everyone who doesn't have Spock ears is a barbarian idiot. Still, I like the idea, since it explains quite a bit. Go to Comment
Reminds me of the Eldar, those bugger's are much the same in attitude- but only worse. They'd sacrifice millions of human lives to save just a few Eldar, and see the younger races out there as inferior beings.
However, I like to think that a smack across the face with a few Space Marines or Imperial Guard regiments solve the problem quite nicely, if you catch my drift. :) Go to Comment
First off: awesome. It's a great entry, man. Second, though: Nekrons. Really. The bloody Necrons? I hate having to be the one who points out the similarities between what people put in and things from Warhammer, since some bugger is inevitably going to see that I also draw inspiration from various things and call me a hypocrite, but damn it, there's a DIFFERENCE between simply gaining inspiration from something and even being so lazy as to take the name from a very SIMILAR group (albeit one that isn't alive), and change only one letter to retain the sound but create a name that on paper looks much less appealing. Let's review: the Necron race was created by the company Games Workshop for their sci-fi series Warhammer 40,000. Much like the NEKRONS, the Necron usually are to be found underground, abhor the light, have no nose, have visible skeletons (since that's really what they are, walking, mechanical skeletons), have very strange voices (only their lords talk, but whatever), and are described as NOT POSSESSING SOULS. Now really, I'm not very upset about just those similarities; it's the name. It's just so bloody LAZY to simply change ONE LETTER. I'm not so stupid as to ignore something so irritably obvious. Go to Comment
I like the idea behind the things, especially the whole "attacking in large swarms" idea. I thought of a new scenario for this:
In a far-off nation, peace has overtaken the land, and the military has grown lax in its prowess. Many different adventurers travel this land, from mages to barbarians, and the main characters, who do not know each other at all, are no exception, having visited for a brief rest from their harrowing travels. However, all is not well, for when night falls on this small country, an Omen Bird plague of gigantic proportions swoops down on the kingdom, ripping the entire area apart in a frenzy of desperate bloodlust (note: if you come across one character, a monk who has dedicated his life to studying these birds, he will tell you that the only reason this has happened is that dozens of smaller plagues have been driven together by a lack of food in their natural habitat and have started working together to gain food. Unfortunately, one of your characters will need to understand Sign Language to get the message, as the poor old man is mute, as his tongue was ripped out by a Omen Bird decades ago during a tragic accident)! Chaos reigns as people across the kingdom desperately try to find refuge from the plague. Many hide in private residences, thinking that the birds will leave after realizing that they can't get inside- however, those inside soon realize as well that perhaps they should have bought more than a weeks' supply of food at the market yesterday.... Especially when they notice that the folks barricaded in across that street got eaten alive when they stepped outside for a supply run. The heroes, who at one time didn't even realize that the others existed, now find themselves thrust into the limelight: as edventurers and fighters of some renown, stranded in a doomed country famed for its peaceful nature, the citizens of the nation are counting on them not just to drive off the Omen Birds, but to find the culprit responsible for depriving them of their regular food-source. Go to Comment
Cool. I see these guys as being something like the fantasy equivalent of the Secret Service- pleasant, polite, and definitely not equipped for total war, but still more than tough enough to kick the posteriors off of any would-be assassin. I'd imagine that any sort of attack on the palace would be driven off in an elegantly brutal fashion (rapier through the chest, then violently kicked off the blade into another group of assailants). Go to Comment
Ah, Lord of the Rings references. Awesome. If memory serves, Grond is that battering ram that the orcs were going to use to conquer Minas Tirith by bashing down the main gate. I like what you've done with the old girl! kudos, man! Go to Comment
I'm in agreement with Mourngrymn on this one- the dead daughter thing is freaky. Just imagine this when you go to an event: "Well hey, who's this?" "Oh, this is my son, Bobby." "Hiyah, Bobby, how're you- Oh... Oh God.... His head... I-it's fallen off..." *another dad pulls him aside* "Yeah, that's Hank. His kid died playing with their lawnmower, and he's never gotten over it. We don't talk about it that much. Weird thing is, his son's name was actually Billy..." Go to Comment
That's disturbing. One pressing issue that could affect this guy: he eats the veins of rapists, right? Well, what if people stop raping each other? Will he starve? Or what if HE rapes someone? Will he end up eating his own veins? Or would he just FORCE people to rape each other? I can see it now, unfortunately: "All right, step lively, I've got an hour until lunch, people!" Heh heh heh. Great job, man, very freaky. Go to Comment
Hmmm. I like the idea, but the way you describe her just makes her seem like a stereotypical badass "action girl": she is completely uninterested in men and'll pretty much shoot you in the foot if you've got a you-bloody-well-know-what and have the audacity to step near her. To be honest, that makes her somewhat hard to believe, cool as she is. I mean, it's unbelievable! I assume that she's still pretty young, right? I don't care HOW hard-boiled you are, at that point in your life you're interested in men, women, goats (inside joke at my NJROTC unit; the mascot of the Navy is a goat), whatever! Other than that, pretty solid. Go to Comment