My main comment about this post is to not post your own characters, just like I always worry about DMs using their old PCs as NPCs. It can be done, but you need discipline, and distance to do a good job. Go to Comment
A clever idea... It should be a simple enchantment to make a small plate (wheels) rotate quickly... but that would have quite an effect if the wheels were tied to something. It's not obvious to me why there would be fire (no exhaust from this device) other than it seems "cool"... are you a dragonlance fan? this sounds very much like a tinker gnome from mt. nevermind. Go to Comment
I understand your want to not tie us down to your specific campaign and I think that's important. But I would say go ahead and give us a couple possible motivations or back stories, or give us one and let us ignore it. Go to Comment
I like the background you wrote. Art is very underused in many campaigns, so its cool to have a nice piece... and I like Ylorea's comments very much as well. There's an old computer game I used to play, Legacy of the Ancients, where you awake in a museum, and all the different paintings are different worlds and adventures you find out. Kind of neat. Go to Comment
Yeah, I definitely think the item, while helpful in obvious ways should be cursed. Maybe some favored animal or somesuch of the goddess would continually hunt down whoever possessed this. Go to Comment
I hope you tell us more about the Blue Cloaks. You did a nice job describing the inn, but it would be good to have more details. Tell us more about the blue cloaks, about the staff, about Tereshon or Duarotangu. It seems like a pretty generic, although well-described, version of "bar where underground organization secretly meets." It's still a very nice post, just not transcendant (in my opinion). Go to Comment
This character is a little too generic to me. Seems like every other NPC is mad because their family was killed and they are out for revenge. More detail would set this character apart. What foods does she like? Would she give a beggar money or kick him? Is she superstitous? These are silly questions, and don't need to be answered in the text, but in a perfect post, I think I could answer these questions on my own without having to be told. Also, to me a musician is a performer - maybe someone who could get access to some royalty, but usually in a very public place and watched ("performer"). I'm not saying it's impossible, just that it would be really cool to hear about maybe one specific hit she made using this as her cover. Go to Comment
Great physical description (although 13 seems a little young to me!). Your campaign world obviously has a very different notion of the underworld than the ones I have played in, which I thought was cool. It's interesting, a very "alive" underworld in my opinion. Go to Comment
I REALLY like the style of this post - the dialogue. Now, it would be cool to have more solid ideas about what the place is instead of just speculation, but the speculation is mighty cool, and communicates several possible ideas in itself. Go to Comment
The idea is good, and as you say it underscores the desperation of certain walks of life. It doesn't seem that realistic (dont they need to keep sharpening teeth.. they'll die a lot.... the waste of the animal in the wrapping would be foul and eventually take up lots of space... they could over time work their way out of rags perhaps... i dont think they could pick locks, but they could eat holes.. maybe near the lock so you could open door (with some metal rod) from the inside perhaps... Go to Comment
I love it. Creates a possible adventure stop for characters, and leaves enough open for me to draw my own conclusions. Why did the mystic do this? What happened since the city was closed? This post got me into it early, so I even prefer not having those questions answered by the poster. Go to Comment
Yeah, your first comment CP, was my thought - how would humans do anything with a little bit of crystal, when the Dorylans had much more and were stronger. Oh well. My other thought was that it sounds a lot like the silver surfer plot to me. Go to Comment
I don't care to argue about the specific bonuses (I'll just change them to my liking) but more history and uniqueness would be nice in this post. I feel like a trumpet of leadership or something like that is a common item (heard of before, in many books, etc.). This one needs something else to set it apart in my opinion. Go to Comment
It's not a horrible idea, just one that has already been kicked around a lot. Keep working on it... think a lot about exactly why everything is the way it is.. not what would look or sounds cool, but what would be most functional. Go to Comment
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