Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Grand Derby
Locations  (Establishment)   (Plains)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-10 01:18 PM
I like the idea and it's a good setting. Jousts and fairs are commonly used in rpg's, but I've never been to an rpg horse race, which makes this seem neat to me. I've never been to a real horse race either, but this doesn't sound to me like it has much that is original. I take aaway a concept I like "let's put an adventure in a horse race setting" and it adds an element of reality to the world (townspeople arent always selling swords to passers-by and farming) but I don't get much more than if the whole post had been "horse race setting." Go to Comment
Twigs of Rot
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-30 10:16 PM
I'm not sure why the arrows themselves didnt get destroyed, but "magic" suffices for me. I'm willing to let that slip because I love the rest of this post. Go to Comment
The Floating Island of Toril
Locations  (Other)   (City)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-17 11:41 PM
There are some cool ideas here, but it would be nice to see you finish them off more before setting this up as a post. In fact, there's enough here to make a codex I think.

Admin-type-people - Will more of the forum this belongs with be moved over into the post part of 2.0 eventually? Go to Comment
Longbow of Light
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Heroic)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-30 09:43 PM
Winter's Bounty
Items  (Transports)   (Heroic)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-28 06:06 PM
Building off of Cheka Man - yeah you could definitely use this as a kamikaze type ship, except the ship wouldnt have to die.. it would just bring the storm to other ships.

Question - you say that many crew people die... I assume the ship also gets VERY damaged... or is it somehow protected from, for example, having the mast break, the sails rip, etc...? Go to Comment
Stonecleave
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-27 08:44 PM
I like it. It's a lot of work to put into a house-building hammer, but maybe it was a big ceremony and a historical peace between the races (I mean, to be a great hammer, and also magic to make it ghost through people.. the second part of that isnt trivial) Go to Comment
Claw of the heart
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-12-03 12:32 AM
The title is good, and I like the story-telling style you used to start the piece. It seems like you rushed to finish it however, and didnt give as complete a picture as you could have. Go to Comment
Eye of the Typhoon
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-15 12:03 AM
I like it. Not too powerful (depending on how often the wind shield comes up and how strong it is... I would make it probably very good against missles, but not so effective against melee strikes wind will effect a sword less than an arrow) and subtle. It also carries with it a penalty, and a creative one at that. The detachment seems to fit with the item. Go to Comment
Winter in the Lost Lands
Plots  (Travel)   (Side-Quest)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-11 08:54 AM
I like the underlying idea a good amount, but would have to change a lot to use it. The beginnng is a good story, but presupposes a fair amount about the party. It would be cool to have more info about Mes - why is he there, what does he want (ultimately and on lesser levels), how was he created? what tactics will he use? but like i said , the underlying idea is nice and provides a good place for jumping-off. Go to Comment
E'grole
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-11 08:47 AM
I like it. Not just a lich, but a lich with a little backstory and motivation. Maybe he'd try to capture the PCs instead of killing them and experiment on them. Go to Comment
The Jester's Loot
Items  (Transports)   (Magical)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-28 02:48 PM
I like the idea. As Ylorea says, the item doesn't quite make sense (even a person at 6 times the size still has a density WAY more than air, and coins, blocks, swords, etc. are much denser... But ignoring science is fine for a good idea.

The intro is good, but jumps aroudn a little to me. Especially the transition from 1st to 2nd paragraph seems sudden.

All in all a good post and a fresh idea. cheers! Go to Comment
Chainmail of the song
Items  (Armor)   (Magical)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-17 11:57 PM
It's a very good start, but it needs more details :-) Go to Comment
Lord Niavon
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-10 07:21 PM
Nice history. I like where you suggest the madness could be magical.. or not. How did Niavon come to find human and elf advisors? Is the land multi-racial, or is this unusual (and how is it seen by others). Why does Niavon want to defeat Siluria (before he went crazy)? Does he feel it is unfinished business? Do they have riches? Is it revenge? He took over for people who waged war carelessly, and then did so himself... so I guess he was more upset at the council for losing than for philosophy... Go to Comment
Warhammer of Thodar
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-17 11:55 PM
It's a nice item and a very good first post. Welcome to Strolens :-) Go to Comment
The Swords of Kanalith
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-14 11:38 PM
The items are pretty plain, but you did a really good job with the back story, which adds a lot in my book. I especially like the names you gave the swords - they sound very elvish to me :-) Go to Comment
Desert of Divine Despair
Locations  (Area)   (Other)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-10 07:09 PM
I really like the idea of a local weather system over a small geography. Any players wandering upon that should immediately be curious ... and afraid. It's a pretty simple idea so I don't know why I like it so much, but I really do. Go to Comment
Drum of the Inferno March
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-29 04:41 PM
I like the background a lot. The powers seem a bit much (hasting and bezerking a large number of people... etc.) But I can always change them to my pleasure and other people seem to like them more :o) Go to Comment
Crystal Lute
Items  (Art and Music)   (Cursed)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-29 04:36 PM
Solid item with open-ended (aka DM controlled) powers. I think it would be very nice to make it clear to the PC this was dangerous, but not give him/her what was possible... the PCs might be afraid to use it even to do simple things like light a campfire... that's a great way to control it.. better than actually punishing them for overuse is to make them so afraid they dont use it much ;-p Go to Comment
Ink Training Missle
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-30 03:16 PM
The idea is fine but it needs a much more detailed description. Go to Comment
A Mile In My Shoes
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-11 10:19 AM
I love this idea. I think I might have been one of the barbarian horde comments, because I wanted to comment on it even before I had joined the citadel. In addition to being joyfully evil I think it can help players develop their skill at role-playing... sometimes it's always the same old. One thing I have tried is to let players switch characters is they want, or even to switch roles with NPCs. Most players don't do this, they really like their character. But some people like to act and like the chance to change roles, and are more about the story than seeing "their" character get stronger and develop. As GM, it's easy to wind the story around such that a player who decides to start role-playing what used to be an NPC can become more important (at least for a while). Of course this only works with a mature group of people... but it can be fun when it works. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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