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The Bone Stitcher
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-04-03 04:58 PM
Not evil, just... messy. Go to Comment
Arrkrash
NPCs  (Extras)   (Mystical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-10-17 03:00 PM
Dear Agony,

I see that you have visited the site since those other responses were posted, so it is possible that you may see this comment.

I started gaming in 1977, when I was 10 years old. I was fortunate that when I was young, I was able to write articulately and the standards of what was considered a good gaming scenario were much lower than they are today. I remember many a gaming scenario that featured two-dimensional demons described in two sentences, quests that started out “The Princess has been kidnapped!” and crawls through the most unlikely dungeons imaginable. I wrote adventures that were such utter rubbish that I don’t understand why I couldn’t see that at the time.

They weren’t mocked, because we didn’t know better then. People are much more jaded these days and are very critical of these old clichés.

Everyone starts somewhere. Don’t let the discouraging response and mockery that this submission has received stop you from learning and writing more. Much of the criticism that this demon has received was because it draws upon some of the most common themes and ideas found in fantasy writing today. Go to Comment
Arrkrash
NPCs  (Extras)   (Mystical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-09-21 01:55 PM
Agony has returned periodically. His writing shows a great deal of creativity, demonstrating abilities that would never have been guessed from this first try. Some are still quite flawed, but Agony shows a willingness to learn and a refusal to be discouraged that I admire. Go to Comment
Man's best friend: Part One
Plots  (Hired)   (Multi-Storyline)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-09-14 12:40 PM
I love the idea of a warlike princess cursed with lycanthopy. Inspired! I was working on an NPC that seems well suited for such a setting: I think that I'll dust him off and move him to Jaegerwold.

The writing does need a careful review and spellcheck as the spelling and grammatical errors are distracting. Go to Comment
Beet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-02-07 04:23 PM
Just what every game world needs.

Warlike tubers for Justice!

Of course, once the secret of his birth is discovered, the forces of evil will soon be developing tuber warriors of their own! Legions of lethal vegetables!

Now eat your veggies, Junior! Otherwise they may return to slay us all! Go to Comment
Hostage Escort
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-01-08 02:56 PM
I like this plot, but setting it up could be ticklish, as others have commented already. In order to make the player characters more inclined to take the mission, I would present Carl as very conflicted, with his political responsibilities to his House and his Monarch forcing him to put aside his affection for his nieces. If House Tremane is presented as a truly dubious bunch (pointing up their ties with the rebels, the way that their lands are a haven for bandits, their willingness to use children as hostages, etc.), then Carl's reluctance to deal with them becomes quite reasonable.

If it's clear that he wants to get the children back but can't because of his allegience to the Iron Throne, the player characters may be led to feel that they are actually doing the man a favor if they work behind his back. Also, the more unpleasant the partisans of House Tremane are, the more likely that the heroes will want to take action to save the little girls from them. As they are all liegemen of the Iron Throne, a bloody raid on the Tremane's stronghold would be a bad idea, potentially triggering open war between the two estates. Go to Comment
Khu-Nakht Amen
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-11-18 11:59 AM
Some truly evocative ideas are presented within, buried within the text. Some revision and editing would make its virtue more apparent. Go to Comment
The Treasure House
Locations  (Plains)   (Ruins)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-12-21 07:19 PM
A building to symbolize the tragedy of false hope and self-deception, left desolate to fall to ruin.

And yet... Few structures are left alone forever. Perhaps, someday, an ambitious ruler will look upon the faded maps of his forefathers and ask, "Why has not this 'Grand Fortress' been restored to use? Surely men of the modern age do not fear children's tales! Send for my architect at once; I have an idea!" Go to Comment
Caerrven's Regret
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Campaign Defining)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-08-31 12:44 PM
This well-conceived item deserved another visit to the Hall of Honor. Could someone take a little while to clean up the odd characters that have inserted themselves? Go to Comment
Drow Spider Jerky
Items  (Other)   (Non-Magical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-09-11 01:02 AM
It makes me wonder what other mysteries of Drow cuisine remain to be discovered... Go to Comment
The Indian Madu
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2012-03-09 01:23 PM


While I appreciate that macaroni is making people aware of a little-known weapon, the whole piece is made of two snippets quoted from texts on armor and weapons.  This would be better treated as a stub entry.


Go to Comment
Nim
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-06-21 02:58 PM
I like this young eccentric. She doesn't seem to be TOO far out there, just a bit scatterbrained and inclined to believe odd ideas, (like the idea that her statue is alive).

She has plenty of roleplaying hooks, even if they're not written up as such.

My only real beef is that she is written in a very disjointed and backwards fashion. When I meet an NPC, the way she looks and he obvious demeanor are the first things I'll learn. After that, I may learn her background and what her odd special items are. Go to Comment
John Chard
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-10-13 07:29 PM
This guy has a lot of potential. I'd throw him in in the background at first, then drop in the murder mystery. Go to Comment
Munchkin Utility Belt
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-09-23 09:52 PM
It is a warning to us all... Now, where did I put the character sheet for my Spellsword Mage? Go to Comment
The Wheezing Dragon
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-09-30 11:04 PM
If I were running this plot, I'd try to add some extra element of moral ambiguity to the dragon. For example, Jaelric the Black has been around for hundreds of years. Suppose that in that time he had aided the ruling house of the kingdom, giving fealty to them when they went to war in exchange for exclusive hunting rights in a large swath of undesirable fen land and a fair-sized herd of cattle.

Now the dragon may still be evil, and may eagerly devour any poor peat-cutter that trespasses on his swampy demesne, but he is a leigeman of the Crown, and not someone to be lightly slain. Many a medieval noble was quite as rapacious and murderous as a dragon could be. Go to Comment
Gathrack
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-10-17 01:25 PM
"No, I expect you to die, Mr. Bond." said the evil mastermind of SPECTRE, as he idly stroked his pet.

None but him realized that during the whole conversation, he'd been wondering how things came to this, when all he'd originally wanted was to be a jeweler. Go to Comment
Foolblade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-08-24 04:43 PM
This isn't a bad item, but there are some things about it that I would change.

I would prefer to make this item scale with the power of the warrior wielding it. In the hands of a novice swordsman, it might display its lesser powers, only coming into its full abilities when in the hands of a legendary hero.

The reason that I would want its power reduced is that I would also prefer to reduce its curse's potency. While a potent curse of idiocy is interesting, I prefer curses that can be overcome with heroic effort. It shouldn't be easy to defeat the curse, but having a curse that can't even be broken by the wielder's death seems a bit harsh. Go to Comment
The Tolling of the Bell
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-10-04 10:58 AM
This was one of the Tales of the Road, long before Tales of Adventure was suggested as a format here...

(Added to the Codex!) Go to Comment
Redgar the Valiant
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-01-22 09:50 PM
I love this guy! I think that I was in a play with him once.

King Senach would hire him as his champion, laughing his head off the entire time... Go to Comment
Azriel Azur
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-02-07 01:11 AM
1 out of 5 for unfortunate chatracteristics amply detailed in other comments.

+.5 because some care was taken in spelling and grammar. Go to Comment
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