I had this in Advice Requested for Months and received nothing. So, I put it here. Thank you for the advice. I'm looking forward to the mark-up from the comment below, but I will take one last stab with it this week. Go to Comment
Apostrophe correction got it licked now. Hmm tense my seductive enemy. Title and Blurb will be reworked as I Add to the History, and include RP notes equipment, and any author notes. Updates to follow soon. Go to Comment
Updated: Updated: Fleshed out the Background. I'm going to give it a day or two before a check Tenses. but please let me know your thoughts. I sounds like I should submit upon editing tomorrow. Go to Comment
Thank you Wulfhere, as always this is why I posted under In progress. The suggestions, are very helpful and can't say I disagree.
The history was to give a sense as to how she approaches a problem. But once the idea spawns to life in anyone else's game, she will be played as their vision, for which a short summary works best.
An end of day post and Word have foiled me with the quotes again. Go to Comment
Updated: Performed edit corrections. Fixed minor errors fixed quotes and apostrophes, adjusted tenses. Separated Armor into armor and helm. Fleshed out motivations and plot hooks. Active vs. Passive yet to be tackled. Waiting on independent review/edit for "final" update. Go to Comment
I thought up some more 31.The Ever-patient - This person is sympathetic/empathic to your PC's cause and will always listen and be understanding. 32.Low on Patience - This person will listen but in a short time, will sigh and look exasperated, even blowing their bangs with a huff. Claiming they have a thing. 33.Admiring - This person picks one PC or the whole bunch and just admires them for some reason. Say they are good-looking, or their deeds are noble or they are a hero. Or they are worldly, either way they are hard to shake. 34.Distrusting - This person feels that the PCs are thieves and a danger to society. The always keep an eye on every movement. Go to Comment
I have been playing a 4th ed Bard, which is lacking in it's "Bardiness", if you will, and this seems to be EXACTLY the kind of thing it's missing. Well put together. This makes me want to put together a mariachi band hired to exact revenge for others. And it gives new meaning to having a military marching band. Go to Comment
The proud tribal peoples of the treacherous jungles and high mountainous regions of the Drannor, tire of their accursed lot in the world. A deeply spiritual nation of tribes lives in harmony with their surroundings hunting only for food or safety and once seen as a right of passage to manhood. These tribes revel in and recognizing and embracing the animal spirits within them that blossom during the hunt. Those that can see at night, and especially at dusk and dawn were praised and honor, as were those that gained the outward appearances of the beast spirits seen to dwell in each tribe member have led the race currently known a Orcs.
Once a nomadic people dwelling in the fertile plain lands north, and wishing to be good neighbors to a human kingdom ravaged by war took in refugees from the devastation, but were soon nudged further south as the greedy human began staking land temporarily gifted to them by the various tribes. Eventually the cooperative nature of Orcs led to an exile from their very own lands by the very humans they assisted. Because the tribe nation was not unified, they were easier to push out than if they had one connecting nation, making way for the great kingdom of demons basin a common human bastardization of their areas name Basin of Dawn. Many tried to flee to the Dwarven Nation of Lortmil, but were met with staunch refusal of help of any kind. From that point on the Orcs of Kyle Drannor knew the meaning of blood rivalry and racism.
In their new lands life was harder. Either more dangerous with larger predators and more competition with nature for resources of food, water and habitat or in the mountains the scarceness of the commodities were the challenge in and of themselves. This harshness has made them stronger and heartier, and they still remain a very proud spiritual people, placing great importance on skill of the hunt and battle and their now more delicate balance with the world around them. They still remain, divided and conquered.
From their hard life the Orcs see Humans as inherently weak of body and a lesser people as their spiritual disconnect is evident. The dwarves have earn a grudging respect from the Tribe Nation as their life in the mountains is also hard and they have many social likenesses, but their transgression of having forsaken the Orcs to this hard life cannot be forgiven. The tribes often live on the outskirts of Human and Dwarven nations, awaiting revenge. The Orcs of Kyle Drannor still make rights of passage, but these now only are in the form of raids on Human or Dwarven lands. As the Orcs are individual tribes, unifying leaders are challenged in every tribe both in battle and in spirit. This is a trial that very few succeed for long in, but there is always hope. And a Great Portent of the Kullryke, The leader to unit the tribe nation, and bring revenge, glory and restore the homeland to the Orcs or Kyle Drannor. Go to Comment
I agree with Manfred on the History, however I enjoy the writing style. Maybe less story regarding the treasure, and just keep it to the prank. As mentioned some spelling mistakes. The Major can ALWAYS cause the person spilled on to be fight angry, and assume Someone ELSE caused it, and Rouge's are the prime suspect.
generally enjoyable and fun. I'm thinking I'll use something like this in my Campaign. Go to Comment
Magic is like alcohol, the more that is used, the more it causes a hangover later on and the less judgement one has when using it. If one waits a while after casting a spell, things "detoxify." A cantrip or two is like a sip of weak beer, whilst a large creation spell is like a bottle of vodka. Cast something too big and you can die from magic intoxication.
Ideas ( System ) | September 24, 2011 |