Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Equus Vigilia
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2006-10-23 01:36 PM
Well told and makes me think of an elder telling the story to a group of children around a campfire or fireplace. Go to Comment
Stormwalker's Eye
Items  (Transports)   (Campaign Defining)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-20 07:25 PM
That is a FUN item! Very creative too. Imagine the scene of somebody flying around amidst a lightning storm. I pictured something similiar to the person being the center of one of those lightning balls. I know players that would absolutely have a grand time with this puppy. Swooping through enemy ranks, wonder if how that would work out? Go to Comment
Stormwalker's Eye
Items  (Transports)   (Campaign Defining)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-20 07:26 PM
All Items are initially put into the quest and must be edited out. No fault of the submitter at all, a deficiency of the Quest system. Go to Comment
The Cache of Elihu Short:
Plots  (Duty)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-21 08:07 AM
It would be typical if Elihu was a retired lawman himself. Perhaps he took down the "popular big nasty" TM and all the "smaller big nasties" TM promised to get revenge. So he was given a rather large commission and took to solitude.

So this gang that went after him, perhaps all they know is that there is a hermit who never lacks money to purchase anything he wants. Bart may be a known friend of his and in the Cowboy days to a group of roughs him knowing the hermit well could be enough to get them going over there.

So, Elihu probably knew that he was getting into trouble with this gang, he was a prior lawman and can read the signs, so he sent a coded dispatch to his friends that he knows he can trust. Perhaps they are governors or sheriffs by now. And it is these people who read that Elihu was having trouble so sent the group to check up on him.

I think it is too convenient for a posse to be just roaming around aimlessly when all this ruckass starts up. I like the deeper background that the PCs might figure out as they continue. Go to Comment
Gnomish Riveter
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-16 01:17 AM
And when used in combat it creates quite an entertaining show.

A good, solid, useful item that one would hope to see in action when out traveling. I see it as another perfect thing to add to the world to make it more whole. Go to Comment
Stebanos Paint
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Non-Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-16 02:42 PM
CP, you constantly amaze me by your ability to not only develop a useable idea, but you always scatter it with great extras that round it out. Not only do we have a new poison, we have the Tekneani: culture with distinct attributes, and the assassins who actually have enough history to make it blend with the item seamlessly.

What gave you the .5 extra was the tidbit that the developer of the poison was actually killed by it which brought into play an entire new layer of warring guilds.

Only thing missing is your reasoning for all the assassinations. If the political dynamics of the land were explained a little bit more as to why the assassinations were being done, that would probably do it. Go to Comment
Stebanos Paint
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Non-Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-16 02:47 PM
The antidote is a water. Couldn't apply the antidote without ruining the powder. If it was expensive and you trusted your powder then you wouldn't worry about it. Plus the costs perhaps?

My thoughts:
Antidote is expensive. If applied prior to the powder maybe it could delay the entire reaction giving time for a full antidote to be applied.
If it is expensive you aren't going to use it every single day.

It might not be used all that frequently either. Implied that there are many other ways of poisoning in this culture and it sounds almost like treat it like an art. In that case it would be impossible to take an antidote for all the different poisons that are available in this land. Go to Comment
curses as in insults
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-15 09:19 PM
This is a pretty good idea! Clean up your capitalization and flesh out the description better and you will have something ready to submit. I suggest giving us a list of at least a half dozen starters to get us going.

No common swear words at all though. Anybody should be able to make up a fantasy word to take the place of any real curse. Go to Comment
curses as in insults
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-16 06:58 PM
Made it In Work Hidden and will remove this comment when/if it is submitted again.

1) No swears. This is a family site with a lot of young people. Didn't think I would have to make it clearer than my first comment.

2) This started out appropriate but you changed it so that it is basically unuseable. To use certain groups as examples shows your lack of creativity and made this impossible to be used on the site.

This is a roleplaying site and therefore you should concentrate on roleplaying things. Using real swears and real examples is entirely unacceptable!

Your examples i) is on the edge but ii and iii are just plain stupid and uncreative.

Again, we are looking for something creative we could use in a game, just not common vulgur rude insults.

Try again. Go to Comment
The Thrillkill Society
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (Local)
Strolen's comment on 2007-02-11 10:18 AM
American Psycho gone group. A good reminder of another avenue to get assassins. Go to Comment
A new take on Wolfen
Society/ Organizations  (Natural)   (Regional)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-15 09:47 PM
What I wanted to hear more about was the becoming of the Wolfen's. I would be more inclined to believe that the wolfen race came about from a small group of malicious werewolve's and not a single episode of a dying one. Would make more sense that they would come from more than one instance. My take would be that little things like this happened all over and they slowly found each other and banded together. The woman would be outcasts as well once they were known to have birthed a wolfen so they might have come together as well in some way.

I just see a lot of possibility with that section that makes more sense than this one rape episode.

I love wolfens, by the way. Played them in Palladium many-a-time. Go to Comment
Cloak of Sweet Devotion
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-12 03:49 AM
Unique and tragic. I like the tip that while wearing in battle keep away from arms as it tends to be 'clingy' that was great! Small change I would is make it itchy for anybody not in love instead of only for the killer.

Very fine item, well done! Go to Comment
How to be a better critic!
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-10 12:25 PM
Good set of tips!

Will add some of my own when I get to that point.

Thanks for putting this together, hits the mark rather well! Going to have to use it on the new site with a link next to the comment box for easy access! Go to Comment
How to be a better critic!
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-10 06:42 PM
Gotta put this in the Citadel Explained page along with Moon's Five Best Tips for Posting on Strolen's (and Other Places) Go to Comment
How to be a better critic!
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2009-08-02 06:09 PM
You can do whatever you want! Sounds like a new submission wouldn't hurt at all if it is fleshed out enough. Then using the linkbacks would work perfect.

Ideas would be fine too if you just wanted to throw something out there, but if you are going to take it and spin it, I would do a separate submission and just link them together. Go to Comment
Get a Plot
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-09 05:15 PM
A specific one from one of Moon's links. The twilight zone is full of great little ideas that can be expanded on or just taken outright.

The X-files...well, duh!?

Oui, brain fry overload looking at all the different shows on that site. Go to Comment
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-01 02:56 PM
The Curse Of Exploding Weapon
Makes the character's weapon a magical +X superweapon... that will explode on a critical hit.

Alternately, the character's weapon grows progressively stronger, and more dangerous. With a +15 it would be unstable enough that a single hit makes it go BOOM, and a +20 should not be even touched. If you don't drop it soon enough, well... too bad.

In both cases it may be a fitting 'reward' : Oh, thank you mighty hero, I will bless your sword, so it may aid you more in your endeavours. Go to Comment
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-01 03:14 PM
I am the fan of the more subtle misfortunes that can arise and that, perhaps, just a disgruntled peasant with the touch of power could enact without the players even knowing at first. They should be careful when the ignore a beggar or ruin somebodies home in a fight. Fit it to the occupation of the person they disgruntled too. Hated the food at an inn? Give them indegestion or gas. etc etc.

Some of these things should happen in a campaign periodically anyway to put a little more 'realism' and 'Murphy' in the game.

* The victims armor continuously comes undone and sags/falls off.
* Any equipment the victim uses has a chance of failure. Rope, torch, horse saddle, backpack straps, maps are smeared, bottles in pack leak, seams in clothes come undone etc.
* Sword gets stuck in sheathe and takes a battle of strength to get it out.
* Always break things when visiting places. Break chairs at taverns, knock over displays at stores, ruin goblets and forks at the kings dinner.
* Animals are skitterish around victim to the point where the victim almost can't use a horse. I would let them eventually get on but make it a constant struggle.
* Everytime they eat food they get bad indigestion or gas. Uncomfortable enough to force them to rest out of cycle occasionally.
* When the victim passes by some poor people some coins fall out of their coin bag without them noticing. To save the poor the dilemna of returning it, they never see who drop it and it usually happens so the poor are the first to find it.
* The insect one is always a good one as mentioned. When stationary cause flies or bees or something to start flying around the victim until it becomes unbearable and they have to leave. Works slowly though so when they are halfway through a meal the flies are just starting to get thick.
* They always get dirty somehow. Mud splattering on them, food dropped on themselves, stepping in dung, wash water thrown out the window, trees dropping dust and bark, small cave-ins, etc. Anything that can happen to soil them.
* Always misplacing things. They can swear they put something somewhere but when they go to find it it is somewhere else. Even if they announce to everyone, "I am putting my healing potion in my right pocket" when he goes to find it, it is not there. When he asks, "You saw/heard me" the response will always be, we heard you but I didn't see where you put it. The angle was wrong or they looked away or whatever. Only if they force the other person to watch somehow will the item be where they put it. Go to Comment
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-01 03:15 PM
Hair changes color after every wash.

Keep hearing rustling just behind them.

Keep seeing shadows cross their peripheral vision. Go to Comment
The Dreamer's Cult
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (World Wide)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-06 11:07 PM
The posts come clear when you read the suggested submissions with it, but as a stand alone post things mentioned in the other need clarification in this post as well. I hadn't read the two others so the following things came up.

-If little is truly known about this cult, then why are they such a high target of violence? From their description the only thing against them is their cryptic beliefs that nobody really understands. They don't do anything but sleep so why are they so 'evil' that they can never escape prosecution.

-The tears need to be expanded on too. A) Why would anybody want to buy their tears in the first place? B) If they are always having to hide and any group is quickly destroyed by those that hate them then how would they sell their tears and who would buy them?

Now, following the links I begin to understand the power of the tears so you should lightly explain the tears a little bit and link to them inside your post so we know there is more. Same with the reason they are hated. Since this is THE submission for the Dreamer's Cult these things should definately be at least mentioned with links providing the in depth explanation.

If you don't know how to link inside submissions, see this link

All together they make perfect sense, but this one as is leaves too many questions untouched expecting that we will go through and read all the suggested without hints in the submission. Once fixed it will get a solid 4 from me! Go to Comment
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There is a place where there are living dinosaurs but in miniture.So there are foot long Tyranosaurus Rex's and four foot long Brontosauruses, for example.

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