Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Chalice of Remorse
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Cursed)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-31 12:25 PM
What a deep idea!

Only discrepancy I thought I saw was that when she looked into the goblet and saw the domestic dispute, the wife hits him and he doesn't show retaliation or anything but at then end of the paragraph is mentions he was a monster and a violent man. That wasn't shown unless I read it wrong.

Great write-up! Go to Comment
The Arcane Chambers
Plots  (Duty)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-22 08:06 AM
The music box is awesome!

Afraid I don't have anything very constructive to say on this portion except I hope the players are careful.

Oh, and some of these items better hit the main site.  :P  :lol: Go to Comment
The Citadel of Xolthog
Plots  (Duty)   (Mini-Campaign)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-22 07:53 AM
Xolthog's different incarnations of emotion is a pretty cool idea and I love how that whole scenerio is played out.

The only unique thoughts I had while reading were about the seer. I was thinking that maybe it was a curse instead of a gift. I was sort of thinking that the seer would have many uncontrollable 'sights' that, depending on the intensity of them, might wear here down, send her unconscience, or just make her dizzy for a bit. Being a seer is a big deal and a big power and maybe this would offset that a little instead "I try to see where the book is." "Ok, you see it in a vision and it is this way."

The herbs could actually stop the visions so she can function normally so as long as she has an inventory of herbs she doesn't have to worry about them attacking her. If she stops taking the herbs, the visions start coming back. And it shouldn't be that suddenly she has a backlog of visions. She cannot predict when they happens so if they are in need of a vision or some help, they have to wait for the herbs to wear off and then wait for the visions. They work of greater need, but perhaps she also has many other visions that may or may not be related to what they are searching for. A boy falling off a cliff, a ember starting to burn down a house, a couple getting married, etc. They may be kicked off depending on the not so immediate surroundings. If they are in a town and do it she may quickly get overloaded and pass out without seeing the true vision while other times just nothing.

So now, she can be a normal character with whatever powers, but when she wants to use the vision she has to deal with the results. Makes the visions a little more important, makes them think ahead to when they want to try and use it, also gives it more oompf then just another skill the player has. Go to Comment
The Prophecies of Redemption
Plots  (Crisis)   (Mini-Campaign)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-22 07:32 AM
I am going to assume that this is the overview and the players won't have all this knowledge. If they do then it is just A to B to C kill D the end.

There is a lot of references, but not a lot of background so I find it a little hard to follow because I don't have the whole picture. For instance, demontongue wasn't mentioned till the last sentence, I assumed they were just suppose to kill a baddie but then I see a weapon is mentioned, but not explained why near the top.

The magic items are awesome and I like the way they tie in and are required to fight Xolthog.

Shadowdancers are cool and have a good history as to why they become. There has got to be at least a small group of good elves somewhere though. I think they would have a role to play in all this. Lumaratha would have probably stayed true to them and now finds it time to try and rescue the rest of her children. Perhaps the good elves are keepers of the Seer (of whom I would like more of).

I am sure you know exactly where you are going with all of it, but for me, I need some more details to give more input. Very interested. Go to Comment
Equus Vigilia
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2006-10-23 01:36 PM
Well told and makes me think of an elder telling the story to a group of children around a campfire or fireplace. Go to Comment
Stormwalker's Eye
Items  (Transports)   (Campaign Defining)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-20 07:25 PM
That is a FUN item! Very creative too. Imagine the scene of somebody flying around amidst a lightning storm. I pictured something similiar to the person being the center of one of those lightning balls. I know players that would absolutely have a grand time with this puppy. Swooping through enemy ranks, wonder if how that would work out? Go to Comment
Stormwalker's Eye
Items  (Transports)   (Campaign Defining)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-20 07:26 PM
All Items are initially put into the quest and must be edited out. No fault of the submitter at all, a deficiency of the Quest system. Go to Comment
The Cache of Elihu Short:
Plots  (Duty)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-21 08:07 AM
It would be typical if Elihu was a retired lawman himself. Perhaps he took down the "popular big nasty" TM and all the "smaller big nasties" TM promised to get revenge. So he was given a rather large commission and took to solitude.

So this gang that went after him, perhaps all they know is that there is a hermit who never lacks money to purchase anything he wants. Bart may be a known friend of his and in the Cowboy days to a group of roughs him knowing the hermit well could be enough to get them going over there.

So, Elihu probably knew that he was getting into trouble with this gang, he was a prior lawman and can read the signs, so he sent a coded dispatch to his friends that he knows he can trust. Perhaps they are governors or sheriffs by now. And it is these people who read that Elihu was having trouble so sent the group to check up on him.

I think it is too convenient for a posse to be just roaming around aimlessly when all this ruckass starts up. I like the deeper background that the PCs might figure out as they continue. Go to Comment
Gnomish Riveter
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-16 01:17 AM
And when used in combat it creates quite an entertaining show.

A good, solid, useful item that one would hope to see in action when out traveling. I see it as another perfect thing to add to the world to make it more whole. Go to Comment
Stebanos Paint
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Non-Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-16 02:42 PM
CP, you constantly amaze me by your ability to not only develop a useable idea, but you always scatter it with great extras that round it out. Not only do we have a new poison, we have the Tekneani: culture with distinct attributes, and the assassins who actually have enough history to make it blend with the item seamlessly.

What gave you the .5 extra was the tidbit that the developer of the poison was actually killed by it which brought into play an entire new layer of warring guilds.

Only thing missing is your reasoning for all the assassinations. If the political dynamics of the land were explained a little bit more as to why the assassinations were being done, that would probably do it. Go to Comment
Stebanos Paint
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Non-Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-16 02:47 PM
The antidote is a water. Couldn't apply the antidote without ruining the powder. If it was expensive and you trusted your powder then you wouldn't worry about it. Plus the costs perhaps?

My thoughts:
Antidote is expensive. If applied prior to the powder maybe it could delay the entire reaction giving time for a full antidote to be applied.
If it is expensive you aren't going to use it every single day.

It might not be used all that frequently either. Implied that there are many other ways of poisoning in this culture and it sounds almost like treat it like an art. In that case it would be impossible to take an antidote for all the different poisons that are available in this land. Go to Comment
curses as in insults
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-15 09:19 PM
This is a pretty good idea! Clean up your capitalization and flesh out the description better and you will have something ready to submit. I suggest giving us a list of at least a half dozen starters to get us going.

No common swear words at all though. Anybody should be able to make up a fantasy word to take the place of any real curse. Go to Comment
curses as in insults
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-16 06:58 PM
Made it In Work Hidden and will remove this comment when/if it is submitted again.

1) No swears. This is a family site with a lot of young people. Didn't think I would have to make it clearer than my first comment.

2) This started out appropriate but you changed it so that it is basically unuseable. To use certain groups as examples shows your lack of creativity and made this impossible to be used on the site.

This is a roleplaying site and therefore you should concentrate on roleplaying things. Using real swears and real examples is entirely unacceptable!

Your examples i) is on the edge but ii and iii are just plain stupid and uncreative.

Again, we are looking for something creative we could use in a game, just not common vulgur rude insults.

Try again. Go to Comment
The Thrillkill Society
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (Local)
Strolen's comment on 2007-02-11 10:18 AM
American Psycho gone group. A good reminder of another avenue to get assassins. Go to Comment
A new take on Wolfen
Society/ Organizations  (Natural)   (Regional)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-15 09:47 PM
What I wanted to hear more about was the becoming of the Wolfen's. I would be more inclined to believe that the wolfen race came about from a small group of malicious werewolve's and not a single episode of a dying one. Would make more sense that they would come from more than one instance. My take would be that little things like this happened all over and they slowly found each other and banded together. The woman would be outcasts as well once they were known to have birthed a wolfen so they might have come together as well in some way.

I just see a lot of possibility with that section that makes more sense than this one rape episode.

I love wolfens, by the way. Played them in Palladium many-a-time. Go to Comment
Cloak of Sweet Devotion
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-12 03:49 AM
Unique and tragic. I like the tip that while wearing in battle keep away from arms as it tends to be 'clingy' that was great! Small change I would is make it itchy for anybody not in love instead of only for the killer.

Very fine item, well done! Go to Comment
How to be a better critic!
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-10 12:25 PM
Good set of tips!

Will add some of my own when I get to that point.

Thanks for putting this together, hits the mark rather well! Going to have to use it on the new site with a link next to the comment box for easy access! Go to Comment
How to be a better critic!
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-10 06:42 PM
Gotta put this in the Citadel Explained page along with Moon's Five Best Tips for Posting on Strolen's (and Other Places) Go to Comment
How to be a better critic!
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Players)
Strolen's comment on 2009-08-02 06:09 PM
You can do whatever you want! Sounds like a new submission wouldn't hurt at all if it is fleshed out enough. Then using the linkbacks would work perfect.

Ideas would be fine too if you just wanted to throw something out there, but if you are going to take it and spin it, I would do a separate submission and just link them together. Go to Comment
Get a Plot
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
Strolen's comment on 2006-01-09 05:15 PM
A specific one from one of Moon's links. The twilight zone is full of great little ideas that can be expanded on or just taken outright.

The X-files...well, duh!?

Oui, brain fry overload looking at all the different shows on that site. Go to Comment
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       By: Cheka Man

An Orc tribe that is relativly *gentle* instead of warlike.

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