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Aditi Telecom
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (World Wide)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-22 01:51 PM
Name of the company changed to protect the guilty. :)

Obviously very heavily based on current practices. "Membership Cards" and online surveys. A great way to put it together into the threat it truly is for us conspiracy theorists. Go to Comment
City Image - Triastu
Locations  (City)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-13 10:48 AM
Excellent descriptions in the pilgrim POV. Inspired me to use this in the city post I am currently working. Go to Comment
City Image - Triastu
Locations  (City)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-13 11:00 AM
I find it plenty logical in the context of the submission. As long as it makes sense in the boundaries of its internal logic, I can easily suspend belief. Having trouble trying to frame your argument with that in mind. Anything on the site wouldn't make sense if you imposed outside logic and beliefs into it.

Loss of space, expansion, etc would mean very little to a city that was developed to be the Holy City of Trianarianism. Go to Comment
Oleastra
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-18 02:43 PM
I read it twice but was still confused as I went through it. Just general ideas seem partially explored leaving me expecting something to add clarity. It is clear you know the character but not sure we got it all. I could see this being a solid 4 with a little work. Go to Comment
A Traveler’s Guide to Vartanadel
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-06 11:41 AM
Should have seen it before the last proofread. :)

I will go over it again. Just ran out of time and if I kept delaying it would never make it to the site. And, yes, thank you for not correcting me. Go to Comment
A Traveler’s Guide to Vartanadel
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-07 01:53 AM
Update: Did a reread and edit. Not sure if I made it better or worse though. :) Go to Comment
A Traveler’s Guide to Vartanadel
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-07 08:26 AM
Sounds like an outstanding idea for a huge line of plots. All leading up to the ghosting of another noble house. I am having some fun thinking about this place and you idea is brilliant! Go to Comment
A Traveler’s Guide to Vartanadel
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-07 08:28 AM
I wouldn't disagree. I have done some briefings on it and the country and their history have fascinated me. Go to Comment
Quedoths Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2013-07-07 09:56 AM
I loved the idea of having to beach himself. The idea of a large shark on the beach is one thing, then the thought of a man ripping through its skin and walking away is almost priceless! Go to Comment
30 Plumes in the Distance
Articles  (Campaign)   (Gaming - In General)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-05 12:19 PM
It was probably a bit of a struggle to come up with 30 but this idea for a 30 is outstanding, Just by reading the title it forces you to think of a scenerio.

Thumbs up for originality and giving us pause to think of putting a plume of smoke in our own game! Go to Comment
Calypso of Caspia
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
Strolen's comment on 2013-06-30 11:22 AM
I think I got here after the edits and I absolutely loved it. The brilliant deception and rise to power was the type of tale you love to read in a book. Reminds me minimally of Kvothe and such where he simply outsmarts everybody.

The things the others pointed out seemed to be cleaned up very well because I especially enjoyed the idea of their part of the city growing important through his actions.

It wasn't clear till the end that he could actually do magic. I was actually a little surprised that he could actually cast and that took away from it a little bit.

Overall, loved it. Great NPC! Go to Comment
Lich Scroll
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Villanous)
Strolen's comment on 2013-06-30 12:54 PM
Awesome origin. Makes me sad that Calypso died doing this though. Go to Comment
The Kingmakers: The Locust
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Political)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-28 09:17 AM
I have read these half hazardously over time and always planned to start at the beginning and work my way through them.

Just wanted to say that I love that you are sharing your campaign even though I don't comment on all of them! Go to Comment
Magic System based on Fengshui
Systems  (Mystical)   (Historical)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-30 11:52 AM
I didn't see it preupdate but I can definitely see how you actively responded to the comments. This is a nicely formatted and pretty thorough sub. Some of the signature spells are pretty hardcore, but I guess that is why they are SS!

Go to Comment
Vartanadel
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2013-06-15 05:15 AM
This was my new test edit post. If everything in the citadel was going to be written over, I wanted it to be better than the graphic upload test. So those ddd were leftover from my test editing phase.

And I do want to spend more time on this. I needed a quick sub to test the submission scripts so used this. There are at least two more subs coming associated with this. When I bring those out, I will update this to give it a little more flavor. Go to Comment
The Leonamuth
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Desert)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-03 10:18 AM
You need to take the ideas and throw them up as an idea comment instead of down here! Go to Comment
The Leonamuth
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Desert)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-03 11:07 AM
Good Golly. If its teeth are made to tear flesh and it is 20 feet tall, I am loathe to meet what it eats vs. gulps down. Go to Comment
Argnid
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2013-06-10 02:15 PM
Tentacles! Outstanding.

Is it bad that I pictured the armor more like a garbage bag type? Kill the creature, remove the teeth and guts, step into it and cut out holes for arms. :)

Love it!!!!

Almost want to issue a challenge to see what others could describe about the picture. I feel the picture is the centerpiece allowing many interpretations. Great job on it!! Go to Comment
Valus Longflower
NPCs  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-30 12:15 PM
An order of blind monks? That got me curious. Decent sub with all the fix'ns. Go to Comment
Wishmaster
Items  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-28 12:04 PM
Though shalt go over 100 words if you must to make the submission read like something readable in a readability reading type of readery way.

Sacrifice the 100 word challenge before you sacrifice clarity!

If you left a lot unexplained I think you just dump the 100 word attempt and make it a normal sub, even if it is short. Go to Comment
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