I was ho-hum till the last paragraph myself. Good legends, nice thoughts, but the kicker that tied it altogether and caught me off guard was what it truly is. "until they are too wretched and tired and magic-deprived to do anything but watch"
Hackers stealing the city was the key to this one. Love that idea and the fact that all have gone so inward that those in the physical world were so scarce that there was nobody left to maintain or protect these things. Great vision of a interesting future.
Only a little confused how they think cutting of Edotown will help destroy the rest of the Poly. Would see them loading VR virii into visitors and sending them out would make more sense for that goal. But if they just wanted VR cash and grow in power in Poly, then hijacking a city makes sense. Either way, the entire idea gives tons of options to play around with so there is no right answer, just a great scenario. Go to Comment
I like the debrief too. A shame but we have all had campaigns where this has happened. Either we are wanting something shiny or the players fade to the point where you don't have the background of experience with the running game that would allow replacements.
Are you going to try and do maybe one more session with the players to do an interactive type overview and finish up the plots or just leave it? Go to Comment
I love the rune planting and delayed affect. That could be useful in dozens of ways and could really bring out some fun roleplaying. Is it only one at a time or could I run down a hallway smacking walls and the unleash mass destruction? Unsure if I would allow that but it would fun! Go to Comment
Good solid foundation as you mentioned. I like the idea that it can't work on smaller mechs and ships. I like that limitation. Since it only works on large areas, the mirror affect may still have a way of being noticed by other special technology maybe not created (or known) yet. Solid balance and believable. Go to Comment
I find it plenty logical in the context of the submission. As long as it makes sense in the boundaries of its internal logic, I can easily suspend belief. Having trouble trying to frame your argument with that in mind. Anything on the site wouldn't make sense if you imposed outside logic and beliefs into it.
Loss of space, expansion, etc would mean very little to a city that was developed to be the Holy City of Trianarianism. Go to Comment
I read it twice but was still confused as I went through it. Just general ideas seem partially explored leaving me expecting something to add clarity. It is clear you know the character but not sure we got it all. I could see this being a solid 4 with a little work. Go to Comment
I think I got here after the edits and I absolutely loved it. The brilliant deception and rise to power was the type of tale you love to read in a book. Reminds me minimally of Kvothe and such where he simply outsmarts everybody.
The things the others pointed out seemed to be cleaned up very well because I especially enjoyed the idea of their part of the city growing important through his actions.
It wasn't clear till the end that he could actually do magic. I was actually a little surprised that he could actually cast and that took away from it a little bit.