I loved the intro story but then the actual person kinda fell flat for me. He is insanely difficult to use and the plot suggestions are very specific and require a lot of set-up. I like the mood it sets up A LOT and would enjoy it much more as fiction in its current state and would love to read a bit more about the crimes. Go to Comment
Good solid start to a magic system. Would be even more awesome if you had a graphic with the different symbols on it to use as reference. But a somewhat normal rune system.
Where does the magic for the runes come from would be good to see. And can anybody draw the runes once they know them? This isn't that complex so not hard to memorize. What keeps others from using it, what needs to be done to complete the rune to make it active...stuff like that.
This was one of those ideas I wanted to write to get it out of my head but wasn't enthralled enough with it to give it the full treatment. I made a conscience decision to stop worrying about things and just do it! I will start posting more and not worry about being Scras. ;) Go to Comment
Those are outstanding questions that I have no intention of answering. ;)
1) No magic inherent in the bush. Given to it by those that use it.
2) You have to touch the bush and only the bush. Roots are useless as they are only small branches whereas the bush is the central nervous system so to speak.
3) There are empty spots between the bushes. (good plot point I didn't think of earlier) Those that understand the bushes and know the pattern of the roots in that area can use the dead zone between the bush's roots to move unnoticed. Not sure that you couldn't replant. Didn't think of that part, interesting.
It maintains a distance just cause. I was of the thinking that the roots are so invasive that there wouldn't be room for another to overlap so they avoid each other after a root probe identifies another plant. They would react somehow with each other and just naturally not grow any more in that direction. Go to Comment
My emotions are confused by this post. I find the background and reasoning gruesome and I am undecided if I think that this was a proper punishment for him or enough for the families. Maybe that is much of the point. Whacked is a good word I think. Go to Comment
Hmm. I think you waste a lot of your 100 words. The first sentence is unnecessary, all that is inherit in it being a submission, same with next intro directly following it and telling us it is unlike others. Just jump into it and give us more.
As it is, with the word restrictions, it still doesn't give us much on how it works, accuracy, how it is interpreted. Not sure how to use it still... Go to Comment