I like the church war plot aspect of it. Having a demi-god, of that sort, actively going against his Aunt's church makes for great indirect conflict in the world! PCs would be affected by odd parts of this war and may, in scenarios, even get involved. Decent history and reason for coming into being as well. I find this very usable. Go to Comment
Normally I try and leave comments about spelling and structure alone but this is a rough draft. An excellent rough draft, but in dire need of another read through. I see the voice you are trying to get out and I love it, however if you read it out loud you will find many errors that make it difficult for me to get through.
I think you can up this .5 to a point with a quick rewrite to make things more clear! Go to Comment
Once destroyed would be a royal pain. I like the idea that gargoyles in this world could be those in that trapped situation. Magic is able to allow them to take other sigiled statues forms but they would remain stone. Once destroyed they could continue to inhabit others. Slim to nil ability to communicate or write because of the difficulty of using the other statues. Perhaps they can even be summoned into the new styled gargoyles by wizards. Perhaps an incentive for a wizard to trap somebody in there too.
Is each styled rune a different "room" then? That is how I envisioned it. Go to Comment
I loved the intro story but then the actual person kinda fell flat for me. He is insanely difficult to use and the plot suggestions are very specific and require a lot of set-up. I like the mood it sets up A LOT and would enjoy it much more as fiction in its current state and would love to read a bit more about the crimes. Go to Comment
Good solid start to a magic system. Would be even more awesome if you had a graphic with the different symbols on it to use as reference. But a somewhat normal rune system.
Where does the magic for the runes come from would be good to see. And can anybody draw the runes once they know them? This isn't that complex so not hard to memorize. What keeps others from using it, what needs to be done to complete the rune to make it active...stuff like that.
This was one of those ideas I wanted to write to get it out of my head but wasn't enthralled enough with it to give it the full treatment. I made a conscience decision to stop worrying about things and just do it! I will start posting more and not worry about being Scras. ;) Go to Comment