Seems like I got to it after a lot of edits because I think this is a great NPC. I haven't read the linked plot yet, but I don't have to in order to enjoy the use I could get out of this person.
As is, he is an honorable knight thrown from his order and now an escaped convict. Still honorable from what I gather here, with a past he needs to hide out of necessity. Shouldered with guilt and probably with a need to track down the truth and clear his name he will always have an alternate, primary motivation besides what the PCs may expect from him. A very nice background for a complicated NPC.
You could use the betrayed background to good effect in many ways and, while the initial setup is specific with the knights of thrul and all that, it would be a very simple thing to make it fit in almost any game.
I like the idea of him coming to the rescue of the PCs in some woodland encounter where they need help and are grateful for his intervention. He still has too much honor to allow the bandits to attack innocents. After he saves them he is very protective over information they carry and/or trying to keep one alive to question. He may go out of his way to keep some alive too with the guilt of his past deed haunting him. He could care less about the gold but if any is found he could be way too curious about it causing some initial discomfort with the PCs.
After the encounter he could protect them some more, show them some safe paths and generally get them on their way. Then one night he may just disappear without a word leaving the players confused. If they travel the woods around this area he could reappear or they could learn who he really is. Go to Comment
Could almost turn this person into a Robin Hood type character. Living off the land, chasing bandits and saving or assisting caravans or local peasants. Always the priority is trying to clear his name. The common folk that live in the woods see him as their own personal hero just by happen-chance and probably don't know anything about the issues he is going through. All they know is that he keeps roads safe and often times throws some goods their way that he gets from the encounters. He is after the truth, anything else is just not needed by the honorable knight. Go to Comment
Reads like a nice convoluted plan that is complex enough to leave plenty of room for PC interaction yet easy enough to follow. Not sure I could add anything without knowing which way you are intending to go with it. But as far as that, it seems you have a solid plan for it all already. Go to Comment
Forget it as an encounter piece, I want to give it to my son as a mapping puzzle just to play. I only now think I understand it as I have only read it (a couple times) and haven't gotten too deep into following the maze through it. This is bookmarked with the other game Four Forges: A simple board game played by Dwarves to try at home.
Very impressed with the graphics and their readability. Very well done!! Go to Comment
The origins of the first zombie and the creation of the Art of Necromancy. Not a small feat!
The only thing I wanted a bit more of was her background of medicine and magic and how she used it through the years as she visited all these different places/people to fix herself. I had a need to see her taking that eclectic knowledge as her own and experimenting with it or something. Then when the big reveal comes and she brings her husband back, it isn't such a stretch that she could figure it out. Took me a second read to remind me that she did have a magic/medical background from family for it to make more sense, but that still leaves me hanging a bit.
I don't know much about space opera, but if the Gnomes could do this here, I see them like the rats of the universe. Going from rejected planet to rejected planet, doing their magic and raising their elephants. I see them quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with due to their ingenuity and ability to do what others have no interest in doing. Go to Comment
With a cruel axe made of remorse and ice tempered steel slung over his shoulder, the red coated demon chants as he glides past the moon, "Ho-ho-ho. On Hildaera, Gunnir, Hrista and Gondale! Let us go collect some more children this night" Go to Comment
WOW. I want to play this, not read it. The alternate, smart ways to accomplish the different scenarios were awesome. Got a great feel of the land and town. Almost like watching a horror story unravel. Outstanding!
I had the feeling that the info on these dudes was just getting started and I was left wanting more. Power and training is good, but these folks must be a force to be reckoned with. As Muro mentioned, much like the Jedi. This is a powerful group and they have some kick-ass training. Do they stay in guilds, are they mercenaries, do they serve only righteous causes? etc.
Would love to see some plot lines with your thoughts on their powers and what they would be asked to do or who would use them. It would help make me understand your thought for their place in the world.
I like it and it is just unique enough to be recognized yet of itself! Great! Go to Comment
It was a good read. My only personal want with the story is less time on how he put on his clothes and what he ate and more on his thoughts on how to make one hand work or how to get around the honor and then can't. Him deciding to leave and then deciding to kill her were pretty heavy handed when compared to rest of the story. Those are the key points and parts I wanted to hear a little more about to better buy into the decisions. As it is, he just does it and that is it...ya know.
Story was great on why their are tunnel systems all over! The actually subway was more of an after thought for me. Magnets? Could have had more fun with that. You tend to weave these complicated political tales and I must say that they add a lot to what could have been a simple idea.