Now what? What do you use it for? Elves use it for a decoration so why would they even think to use it in battle in the first place? You give no plot points to it, no special uses, only the vaguest of history that sounds like any other battle ever heard of.
The thing is we are looking for unique items with unique history. Need something special to make it stand out. They are too generic with little or nothing to use in it. Please read through some 5 stars and get a feel for what is a good submission. Look at the depth, detail, descriptions, and uniqueness of the submissions and then try and rewrite this one to add some things.
I love the idea of it and would love to see/read a fuller description of the religion, stranger, magic item and how he survived out on his own.
Only main issue is that the father would never wait till the kid was 10 years old. He would start at like 7 months old or younger. As soon as the kid could crawl and grab stuff, it would be in nature learning with the father's encouragement. Go to Comment
I like the idea but would get rid of the treasure and make it more of a mystery instead of pointing them straight to the forest. Let the PCs be the first to successfully interrogate the crazies and get coherent information. They could use magical means the town doesn't have or the crazies will only talk to strangers or something, anything.
One arrow an hour doesn't set well with me either. Why one an hour? If I was releasing my demon god then I would spare no expense to try and get rid of those that may ruin my plans.
For my game I would instead find a way to give the PCs better protection from the arrows. They could discover what they are and get a protection spell from a cleric (there has to be some other good cult that knows about these Hell dudes and have some protection from them) or something. The arrows are less effective but still do their thing with proper failing saves. So the PCs have more hope fighting them but it is still gut wrenching whenever they get hit and have to save.
I like the idea of using this Hell cult as a growing cult in the world and maybe the shakers behind the evil. I would want to build up the pressure of them to a climax of discovering the ritual and foiling it. I would probably draw the Hell thing out for a long time, slowly introduce it to the compaign with madness slowly building through the country, the occasional conflict with the cult and their arrows until they become true enemies of the PCs culminating perhaps with this plot.
I like the Arrow Of Personl Hell A LOT so would want to draw it out as long as possible. Go to Comment
Great history and background on it, the thing that gets us, I believe is that "...famed rangers of Halefas carry it wherever they patrol and in steady supply." and the fact it brings people to full life.
Way too powerful and readily available and all it is is another healing potion. More like a video game potion of full health then really useable in a regular roleplaying game. Go to Comment
Great plot because it allows multiple options depending on how far you want to take it. As I read it I came up with the same plot split offs that Almar wrote so I was happily surprised when they were mentioned.
While not a great fan of cold weather campaigns, this one can be easily modified to fit with any giants in any scenerio.
A refreshingly outstanding submission!
....what does that damn stone do???!!! (I mean that in a good way) It is a rather important point especially if the PCs get a hold of it by rescuing it. You know they are going to HAVE to use it. Go to Comment
I love the whole feeling of the small, rough town. Reminds me of the cliche rough western town. Colorful inhabitants, small population so anybody new is immediately noticed. Very secure because of the constant threat and the idea of everybody always ready to defend themselves puts an awesome atmosphere on the entire place.
That is is backed with believeable resources and a reason to exist as well as an excellent background to describe its creation.
A fun one for a beginning party is how I invisioned it. The new adventurers go out on their first Quest. Little do they know they were sent to their death by Mr. X for Important Reasons. So they are met on the way by our friend Bualgathor who knows all about their hopeless plight but sees it as a perfect opportunity. They get there, PCs are nearly destroyed, Bualgathor is revealed, it works out that the PCs return for paybacks. Go to Comment
I would probably have the two NPCs be player characters, and if not plan something ahead of time to befriend the owl and get some potions of animal speak or something. Wouldn't detract from the overall flow since the prince could speak dark elf (hmmmm why?) and get stabbed. Might even send a wild man with them before they meat the dark elves as fodder for the murder episode, maybe allowing him to speak their language...past bad encounters that the dark elf held a grudge about or something...
The one thing that I want to know through all this was why steal the moonstones in the first place? What was the motive? unless they planned on making their own barrier against non-humans somewhere? If so, why didn't they get all three? Knowing the why could probably help explain why they went against each other after they had the stones as well.
I think the poisoning of the father line needs strengthening though.
What poison were the orcs using?
Where did they get it?
Stuff along that line.
Could develop into a good villian behind the scenes if set up well and ensure that it makes more sense why behing poisoned by orcs requires an epic quest. Might be a quest to find out what poison was used in the first place by capturing the person behind the orcs...etc. Go to Comment
Definately a good start and I already like the character.
Fear of being stole from her? She is a thief. The safest place for things would be in her control I would think. And a key wouldn't be good enough if she is that paranoid. Needs a story behind it, stuff stolen in the past and such. There would probably and elaborate cache of her most valued possessions too since she loves the manuscripts. (Probably my pettiness but I like these kind of details about characters)
The rest is pretty good, I am probably picky because I like the character and want to know more. Got me hooked, now reel me in. Go to Comment