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Inanna's Silver Tongues
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-09 11:20 AM
My only question is, "Why?"

Most people do things for selfish reasons (if only to feel good about themselves) but this goes way above and beyond your normal do-gooder. I see that each person could have their own reason, but what offer could the cult give them to actually join it?

I love that they are willing to do anything in the cult to gather information. That is awesome. With that, my thought was that violent criminals would be able to join it to do "good" while still satisfying their own innate evil. The benefit being that the cult status and ends justifying the means would provide them immunity to the law for their deeds in the name of the cult. Go to Comment
The Nurendrian Truth Cult
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Local)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-10 02:52 AM
I think it might have scrambled my brain and I feel like my memory was sacrificed by the end. :)

I agree with caesar, I would very much prefer a wrap-up to pull these threads together so I understand what you think I should understand. Maybe put a separator to show what is written post challenge if you don't want to tweak the main submission to keep it pure.

One part that did confuse me. He writes the storm because it will return whereas the murder will not. Which infers that they use the historical "truths" to help with the future? But then the "I have no child" would go counter to previously written "truths" of her having a daughter so I am not sure how that balances. Seems to me that the cultists, once their "truths" are filed would mean nothing to them since they are in the moment so the use of the storm wouldn't be useful at all, they are just recorders. And wouldn't other recorders want to document the loss of a child as their interest? How many are there? Just caught me as confusing. Crayons, I like some things written in small words and crayons.

Also, as val mentioned, it is more of a fiction piece as it doesn't really give us anything to use as a society, while it definitely entertains. Go to Comment
The Nurendrian Truth Cult
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Local)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-10 02:55 AM
I don't think it needs the nitty-gritty, just a little more to make it cohesive and self-sustaining. Right now it leaves more questions than it answers. I would prefer a single, well-defined unanswered question about the heredity cycle or how they became civilized vs. trying to figure out all the rest as well.

I do like it, it is just complex in its current state. Go to Comment
The Players Cult
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-10 03:59 AM
Not sure I would use this for the PCs but definitely something they come across in a game. Great level of detail and a crazy thing to to be working against. With a little work, it can be put in almost any genre too when it comes down to it.

Only a few of us are trusted in this enchanted world, playthings of the gods. If we win this game we will get xxxx reward. Whatever.

What would be really insane is if they do get some kind of special power (even perceived through the power of persuasion) that propagates their belief. Like they learn faster, get stronger than normal etc. Things that may happen anyway with their training/learning but seems enhanced by the brainwashing....or is it real?




Go to Comment
The Players Cult
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-25 04:03 AM
Congrats to Dossta and this submission being the first place submission in the quest Religions and Cults!! Go to Comment
Devil's Spit
Items  (Materials)   (Non-Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2013-02-18 09:33 AM
Sweet. Easy to grab and put in any world. Excellent effects and easily understood origins! All the hallmarks of an easily adaptable piece of devilish fun. Go to Comment
The Last Tank
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Strolen's comment on 2013-02-18 09:28 AM
Like reading a news article right out of your cosmic era. More like an underground paper that tries to tell the history without embellishing while the main media outlets would continue to sensationalize everything. Go to Comment
Wilhelm the Courageus
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Combative)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-28 09:07 AM
Seems like I got to it after a lot of edits because I think this is a great NPC. I haven't read the linked plot yet, but I don't have to in order to enjoy the use I could get out of this person.

As is, he is an honorable knight thrown from his order and now an escaped convict. Still honorable from what I gather here, with a past he needs to hide out of necessity. Shouldered with guilt and probably with a need to track down the truth and clear his name he will always have an alternate, primary motivation besides what the PCs may expect from him. A very nice background for a complicated NPC.

You could use the betrayed background to good effect in many ways and, while the initial setup is specific with the knights of thrul and all that, it would be a very simple thing to make it fit in almost any game.

Thumbs up! Go to Comment
Wilhelm the Courageus
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Combative)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-28 09:11 AM
I like the idea of him coming to the rescue of the PCs in some woodland encounter where they need help and are grateful for his intervention. He still has too much honor to allow the bandits to attack innocents. After he saves them he is very protective over information they carry and/or trying to keep one alive to question. He may go out of his way to keep some alive too with the guilt of his past deed haunting him. He could care less about the gold but if any is found he could be way too curious about it causing some initial discomfort with the PCs.

After the encounter he could protect them some more, show them some safe paths and generally get them on their way. Then one night he may just disappear without a word leaving the players confused. If they travel the woods around this area he could reappear or they could learn who he really is. Go to Comment
Wilhelm the Courageus
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Combative)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-28 09:15 AM
Could almost turn this person into a Robin Hood type character. Living off the land, chasing bandits and saving or assisting caravans or local peasants. Always the priority is trying to clear his name. The common folk that live in the woods see him as their own personal hero just by happen-chance and probably don't know anything about the issues he is going through. All they know is that he keeps roads safe and often times throws some goods their way that he gets from the encounters. He is after the truth, anything else is just not needed by the honorable knight. Go to Comment
The Fall of the Knights
Plots  (Duty)   (Campaign)
Strolen's comment on 2013-02-18 09:15 AM
Reads like a nice convoluted plan that is complex enough to leave plenty of room for PC interaction yet easy enough to follow. Not sure I could add anything without knowing which way you are intending to go with it. But as far as that, it seems you have a solid plan for it all already. Go to Comment
The Sorcerer's Knot
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
Strolen's comment on 2013-01-21 09:21 AM
Forget it as an encounter piece, I want to give it to my son as a mapping puzzle just to play. I only now think I understand it as I have only read it (a couple times) and haven't gotten too deep into following the maze through it. This is bookmarked with the other game Four Forges: A simple board game played by Dwarves to try at home.

Very impressed with the graphics and their readability. Very well done!! Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2013-01-01 12:34 PM
Just a good follow-up with more information about the offspring. Rounds out the knowledge from the other sub nicely. Go to Comment
Agrivaine Dorset
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Strolen's comment on 2013-01-11 02:00 PM
I think this is the first time anybody has done anything like this. And I like it..... Go to Comment
Mother Monster
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Strolen's comment on 2013-01-01 12:23 PM
The origins of the first zombie and the creation of the Art of Necromancy. Not a small feat!

The only thing I wanted a bit more of was her background of medicine and magic and how she used it through the years as she visited all these different places/people to fix herself. I had a need to see her taking that eclectic knowledge as her own and experimenting with it or something. Then when the big reveal comes and she brings her husband back, it isn't such a stretch that she could figure it out. Took me a second read to remind me that she did have a magic/medical background from family for it to make more sense, but that still leaves me hanging a bit.

Excellent plot hooks as well!

Go to Comment
Bachsel
NPCs  (Extras-Horde)   (Artistic/Performance)
Strolen's comment on 2012-12-31 03:11 AM
Excellent thought! Go to Comment
AgroGnomes of Beta Arconis
Locations  (World)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2012-12-31 03:17 AM
I don't know much about space opera, but if the Gnomes could do this here, I see them like the rats of the universe. Going from rejected planet to rejected planet, doing their magic and raising their elephants. I see them quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with due to their ingenuity and ability to do what others have no interest in doing. Go to Comment
Candenheim
Locations  (City)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Strolen's comment on 2012-12-31 03:24 AM
With a cruel axe made of remorse and ice tempered steel slung over his shoulder, the red coated demon chants as he glides past the moon, "Ho-ho-ho. On Hildaera, Gunnir, Hrista and Gondale! Let us go collect some more children this night" Go to Comment
Fields of Flesh
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2012-12-31 03:08 AM
WOW. I want to play this, not read it. The alternate, smart ways to accomplish the different scenarios were awesome. Got a great feel of the land and town. Almost like watching a horror story unravel. Outstanding!

The sawmill was intense. Go to Comment
The Maritime Bank of Martinesse
Systems  (Mercantile)   (Historical)
Strolen's comment on 2012-12-29 12:45 AM
Fun is the right word I kept reading and I laughed at the ingenuity of it. What a fun and great idea! Graphics really put it out there too!

Fun sub, well written, awesome story and it is a shame that some pirates end up dying by cutlass in the back while shaving. Go to Comment
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