A few of these are brilliant and dig right into the core motivations that I am all too familiar with! I could relate my experiences with quite a few of them correlating to actual officers I have worked for over my years. Really outstanding!
You just opened up another world of creativity for me actually. I keep my military very much out of my personal life but, man, there are so many eccentric personalities I have worked for and got to know very well....what a waste that I haven't used them before. Just odd it took this to totally refocus my POV on it all! Go to Comment
A little bonus for the just as interesting couple comments that accompany it. I am not a SF person so, aside from Godzilla, this is one of the first time the planet as an egg thing has crossed my eyes.
I think there is sometimes a gap between choosing to suspend your disbelief and refusing to suspend disbelief.
Cold War? The post is vague enough that any number of scenarios could be come up from creation of another uber Earth bound weapon to create a standstill to some kind of diplomatic solution to a false sense of militaristic security that who cares if they have nukes, not going to touch us. Then the hack came...oops. Just seems narrow minded to just say no, this won't work.
I love the idea. Gave a vote bonus for the creativity of it as I can't recall ever hearing about a usage of current items in a situation like this. Very fun. I can see players casting all kinds of spells. Is it magical? Is it warm to the touch? etc etc. What would they do with a lava lamp. LOL!
Especially good if they don't know you are describing a current item. Then, when they finally ask the stupid question, "Is it scotch tape?" do you answer IC or OOC? LOL
I think I know the answer. Do the Blackhawks use it?
Had to reread it, and the comments. But once it clicked it made perfect sense. I would dump the 10-15 feet reference all together and actually describe what a knight's move is just to clear any ambiguity. When you say they have to be a knight's move from each other on each move, that is pretty clear then.
The dots and lines forcing an order are fun too. Good puzzle!
Doesn't have to be life size either, just as good on a table to open a secret door. Go to Comment
Random thoughts as I read the sub. Some were prior to catching the end where it seems some loose ends were hastily tied. This isn't a sign of me not liking it, my mind spins as they read these and the more it spins, the more it has entranced me so it gets more attention.
Genitals. I assumed it was going to be on the ship to clear the ship to leave. Like the blood would have to fall on the wood in order for the curse to recognized a "pardoned" ship and release it from the harbor. Doing it inland made me wonder if this eunuch could allow any ship in and out from now on. Or if they don't survive much longer after they leave. The eunuch always dies. Otherwise they may allow ships to have continuous safe passage to the island.
So the severing is for the island to alleviate the curse upon them. So why does the curse assist them in trapping the ship? Seems that the curse wouldn't care to help them, it is a curse. Does the bhakhanara cause the trapped ship and the bhakhanara releases the ship once they have the sacrifice? The islanders can't escape the curse but they can do things to assist them in fighting it. Perhaps the machimara can cause storms bringing in ships. The islanders can just say it is part of the curse makes sense of that.
The last is that they can't talk about it. If the entire crew knows about it, just can't speak...do they gag when they try and speak? do they die? do they stutter? Any number of clues would cause a concern to others.
Better would be that they lose all memory as soon as the sacrifice is given. Once the stump is healed then they all go into a fugue state where they can either safely sail their ship out without really comprehending (but also not questioning) or are brought to the village where they have been resting and wake up to another day...and the winds have died. The eunuch would be the only one with issues, but it would all be taken into account by a memory wipe to a point (or death as mentioned). All they remember is a pleasant visit to another island once back on the ocean.
The ship disappearing speaks of great magic to me which isn't justified by the limited curse. I would be looking for a great larger force of magic and/or evil to be in place to cause the vanishing of a ship due to the curse. Just seems out of place.
Don't get me wrong, really enjoyed it and it was a great write-up. Just seems like there were some things forced without proper explaining just to make it work. I can suspend disbelief, just has to make sense in context of the world....Plus, I like thinking about things. Some of this might have a better place in the idea section above if I fleshed out my thoughts a little more. Hmm. Go to Comment
I am always a fan of these color type submissions. You can instantly deposit one or all into any world or location to give it some personality that makes "you enter another town" type scenarios memorable. Great additions! Go to Comment
Good set of personalities but I did find myself wanting more with each one, especially Lywyn. I can come up with the rest that I have questions about or that need expanding on, but would be nice if some additional information was provided to help bring them more to life.
I think I was confused through most of it. I need a family tree to understand who begots who and what that means. And if Bsuma is the only one that gives birth to hybrids then they must be very rare and probably more special?
I was waiting for a payoff for the parasites in the head. That got my attention but then there was no real benefit of having it....as written. They get rights but then don't want them. Wasn't fleshed out very well.
Overall, I don't really get it. More of a who has sex with who sub and I couldn't complete the lineage (or importance of it) through the text. Go to Comment
Very well presented and incredibly useful if you wanted to introduce time travel in a game.
I was thinking of the movie "Knowing" and trying to figure out where that would fit. Seems like a cross between the first two. I like how that movie uses the choice tree and maybe the shadows we see are him just using Presage over and over.