44. Every adventurer will want to buy you a drink and maybe even dinner to hear the tale behind how you acquired such a rare pet. 

45. Bards will want to compose songs about such a legendary warrior and their croc pet!

46. Worrying about muggers while staggering back to the inn blind drunk is no longer a concern!

47. Add a makeshift bearskin rug over the top of your croc and you have a crazed beast of legend sure to frighten dim witted barbarian and goblin tribes!

48. With a little ventriloquism you have a reliable witness/interrogator no ones going to second guess.

49. Assuming the croc's female and has mated you have priceless baby crocs to sell. Who wouldn't be willing to pay a fortune for a croc pet of their own?

50. If possessing fewer scruples then the average person you can also regularly sell ostrich or other monster eggs for a hefty profit, claiming they're the fertile eggs of your croc. (And when they never hatch, well gee, that's too bad, must be the new owner didn't care for the egg properly, not your fault, too late now!)

51. With some special training a saltwater croc can make one seriously wicked surfboard. Go to Comment

#44-#51 taken care of! Go to Comment

67. It's a ready made (if rough) canvas for your artwork, paint on some ancent war cries in orcish and stick figures and you have some  "fracking voodoo magic mon" sure to terrify the ignorant enemies.

68. Collect the droppings and sell them as fertilizer to the farmers.

69. Or dry them for fire wood!

70. Those little birds that love to pick the bits of flesh out of the crocs mouth (Egyptian plover) can be tasty in a stew.

71. The bird feathers can be nice for blow guns or small arrows too.

72. Evasion: Rub up against the crocidle and you'll have a musky scent to keep those blood hounds off your trail.

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Aye, and helped inspire me to add 67-73, many thanks!

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73. Smear soem croc droppings on your weapon/arrow head and you can make some nasty wounds sure to get infected and kill or slow down an enemy over time.

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74. By (falsely?) claiming the croc is your chosen romantic partner/mate you can easily avoid those pesky arranged marriages or annoying proposals from rescued damsels in distress.

75. Croc breath, the quickest way to make your own questionable personal hyegine no longer a noticeable issue.

76. Adding Croc teeth to your club/clothing/necklace will be much easier then ever before! (The average croc regrows over 3000 teeth in their lifetime.)

 

 

 

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74-76 added, ever closer to 101! Go to Comment

80. A secure storage area, simply place your valuable diamonds or what not in a waterproof undigestable pouch, coat in putrid juices and feed to the croc. It'll be safe and secure for a fairly long time. (Until the next time the croc does it business anyway.) Go to Comment

Thanks, leave it to a cruddy keyboard to mess with an otherwise flawless sub. :P Go to Comment

You misunderstood, I wasn't implying the fungus was the cause behind the disease, but the dampness possibly causing an outbreak.
(Legionella transmission is via aerosols — the inhalation of mist droplets containing the bacteria. ) I'll work on the phrasing to make that clearer.

I hadn't noticed that list before, thanks for the link. :) I feel this list works better as a companion rather than addition however, given it focuses specifically on problems/situations involving the duct work of starships.

(Much faster/easier to scan a specialized list if you're looking for an encounter involving the crawl spaces then have to read through 100+ spaceship problems to find them all.) Go to Comment

Update: Slightly reworded problem #5 for better clarity. Go to Comment

Fun idea Echo, I could have expanded upon it, but I felt the humor over misconceptions would wear thin rather quickly. If anyone feels like continuing with the theme, by all means, go for it. :) Go to Comment

Aye, that they are, very perceptive Mystic. ;) Go to Comment

Thanks for pointing out the faced error, I thought I'd gotten all the apostrophes correct, I'll fix them in a reedit when I have more time ;) Go to Comment

It took a google search for me to decipher the unintended innuendo, and now I find it too funny to change. :P (I'm more familiar with the terms "caressing the flower/double clicking the mouse" ;) )

I like the idea for another 30 sub, I'd enjoy reading some of the inspired bardic tale concepts others come up with. Go to Comment

Update: Edited for grammatical errors and a few spacing issues. Go to Comment

The poetry passaged are supposed to be fragments from each song, thus the meter is slanted more towards how it would sound if sung in particular lilt or speed rather then plainly read.

(much how some real life songs sound poorly metered when read, but beautiful to the ear when sung) Go to Comment

Aye, I have musical variations as well, a couple of them in finished form, others as rough drafts some still a jumble of notes . Given I only play the violin, the couple I have compositions made for are set to various violin styles.

(Since bards play a variety of instruments I mixed up the musical instrument descriptions to make each piece more unique/fitting and realistic.)

If anyone *really* wants me to, I can post the complete lyrics for a few of the songs, although I honestly doubt more then a scant few (if any gms) would use them in their entirety. (After all, what player wants to sit for several minutes and listen to the gm recite, or attempt to sing them a song?) Go to Comment

Ah I completely overlooked the similarities in the name Valador to Valadaar and assumed you were referencing my other unintended reference.

To clarify for those too lazy to Google a quick explanation:

Slay the dragon: Slang, A euphemism for male masturbation.

Caressing the flower/double clicking the mouse: Slang, A euphemism for female masturbation.

In light of this confusion it makes Valdaar's original comment, and the lyrics as written all the more amusing, beautiful! Go to Comment

This one I had trouble posting the first time due to a "name already exists error", the original is still on the front page, no worries :)

Edit: changed the name and content of this deleted one to prevent others from being confused as well. Go to Comment