A in depth jungle village rife with adventure opportunities, I like the short physical description you give each personality within town, and how their own relations with each other are less then ideal making for more plot material for a Gm to work with.
In particular I like the setting neutral approach, making this sub work equally well in a fantasy setting (it's intended use I assume?) Or as a group of tribals living upon an unclaimed planet in a space faring sci-fi game, or low tech villagers in a post apocalyptic one.
Perhaps adding in a extra section with some specific plot hooks might be a way to further enhance this piece? (One of the PC's finding a romantic interest in this village and then grappling with the morals of their beliefs could make for a emotionally charged and interesting adventure, especially when the PC is unaware he is slated for the next Hunt.)
Memorable, and intriuging, I would of enjoyed a more in depth retelling of Tibers fight with The Hounds of Blood, it would be a memorable battle to be sure!
The addition of the origns of the cloth really helped bring the piece togther for me, and gave it a bit of "legendary" status. I can see a few adventures involvign a scholar/wizard attempting to uncover these origins for either intellectual, or more nefarious means.
I also noticed the hint at the origins of Blood Duelists, any chance of seeing this as a seperate sub?
No need to apologize, the only way to get better at it is to practice, and this sub does have potential and is a great quality submission. (Hence the solid 3 rating )
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I found to make adventure subs less "railroady" it works best to leave things loosely detailed and simply create the scene for the action to take place, or the event that unfolds for the characters to react to/interact with as they see fit without scripting a specific expected response from them. (Similar to how I presented the plot hooks in my shipyard quest sub)
A older destroyer dating back a couple decades, this ship was sent into permanent retirement after a new radar and missile guidance system malfunctioned, burning out the wiring on several decks and creating a repair job that simply wasn't cost effective.
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Now all but lost among larger vessels, the ships enhanced radar suite and IFF transponder are unexpected prizes for the lucky (or curious) salvager.
An excellent option for when you have continual online access. Unfortunately for those of us out in the sticks regular access to online resources is rare. (most people I know don't even own a computer let alone wireless internet) When going to game at someone else's house it's usually a lap top and whatever files are put on it and no chance for online updating until I return home. (We also have the added fun factor of the net being down for days at a time in the winter after a nasty blizzard, making it even more of a headache to keep a campaign online.)
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On the upside the organizational method I outlined will work just as well in Google docks as anywhere else given it's a simple directory structure, (well as long as you have a good connection and don't mind uploading all of the campaigns music files and pics to the site.)
An interesting place to toss into the local surroundings and watchthe PC's run themsevles ragged tyrign to learn all they can about this "mystery" and make sense of it.
I would like to see mroe about the Ram and his dire deeds that led to his entrapment within the castle. Perhaps having the PC's helping to free the Ram so he may rest in piece could lead to a small series of adventures or even an entire campaign?
Nice to toss into the loot list of the next random enemy the PC's strip naked looking for valuables. Other then a passing curiosity I don't see it being all that useful or featuring prominantly in any adventures, but for a evenings distraction when the GM has little else planned it could be fun.