Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-25 12:13 AM
Aye, it's mostly just covering background info, useful stuff for establishing character, but not earth shatteringly exciting to read. Go to Comment
The Gorgon Rune and the Flirting Dress
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-17 02:56 AM
Is this written up for a particular world setting? (if so which, I want to check into it!) If not I can see this working out well in Shadow Run with a bit of tweaking, or fantasy settings with even more changes.

Nicely done, and gives a great usage example of the Flirting Dress. Go to Comment
Elizabeth Sheybad and the Flirting Dress
Plots  (Crisis)   (Encounter)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-16 06:32 PM
A fun short that feels like it's part of something bigger, I would enjoy seeing it continued someday.

Brilliant use of the dress, although I do wonder if the ink would run and perhaps bleed through the dress, making the message visible to all as the night wore on. Go to Comment
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-16 06:02 PM
Aye without suspension of disbelief supers stories deflate rather quickly, although Evie didn't follow her around the air port terminal inside, so much as see which gate she was standing at through the exterior windows then boarded the plane with said tail number in between the loading crews loading of luggage. ;)

AI agree speaking while poly morphed is questionable, but having her shift back into a naked human every time she had to have a conversation, would grow... tiresome and make the stories read like some kind of exhibitionists fantasy

Glad you liked it, more to come in a few days, like usual. Go to Comment
Ellen Lancaster
NPCs  (Minor)   (Artistic/Performance)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-17 07:48 PM
Beautiful and well put together, a bit more lengthy and involved than Sarah's which was nice, and gives a real feeling of depth to her.

Looking forward to seeing one of these for Jenny, and the other prominent Delta Factor personalities! Go to Comment
Flirting dress
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-15 08:34 PM


First I just felt I should point out an error context wise,



Queen Emeralda was a beautiful woman in her youth ( albeit considered ugly in his later years)



As for the dress itself, I can see it being of some interesting use as part of a brothel, or a gift to a prominent NPC who may not know it's effects or how to utilize them,



Other than that I'm not sure it's of much use in most games, expect perhaps as a item of value to be bargained with, or used as a distraction during some other event.



Still fun and interesting sub, and the rumors of the dresses existence certainly adds life to a world history.

Go to Comment
Flirting dress
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-16 04:47 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-14 06:03 PM


The goal was to cover the the important highlights of the relationship, since Ellens factors into a few future chapters prominently. As for detailing the other dates, it came across as unneeded fluff so was edited from the final piece with only important developments listed. (There were a dozen or so dates at least before the intimate one, but a laundry list of dates felt pointless to include.)



Also aye, the chronology is a bit tough to follow due to the edits for brevity, I'll see about fixing that in the near future.

Go to Comment
Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's path pt 5
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-11 08:39 AM


Originally this was part of the 4th sub, but I split it up to keep word count down to a shorter level for those with less time to read lengthy subs, and aye, you're right it likely could be cut with minimal impact.



As for Ellen, I figured it will become apparent the complex nature of that relationship in time. ;)

Go to Comment
The Song That Doesn't End, Part One
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-10 05:49 PM
Humorous and gives some nice insight into the Delta Factor setting, Looking forward tossing both Ellen and Sarah as write ups on their own someday. Go to Comment
Sarah Voltaire
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-10 06:33 PM
Beautifully done, and summarizes all the important highlights of her life, looking forward to seeing Ellen as a sub in the near future! Go to Comment
Rage!
Articles  (At Table)   (Game Mastering)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-10 10:07 PM
The crunchy bits seem to be the start of a new trend in the Citadel. (which I noticed began with the d20 conversion stats included in the Ysra Fulsven Vineblud sub by Axlerowes)

Personally i approve wholeheartedly of a bit of (or in this subs case) a lot of crunch in subs where appropriate, since it gives the reader a ready to use baseline from which they can easily convert things to their rule set of choice.

As far as the sub itself, laying out rage in such a clear and easy to use manner is welcome change from the rather bland versions of barbaric/bestial rage seen in most RPG's.

The table and lay out is generic enough to be easily adapted to most any setting, and one can use the table with some modification to represent the building rage of wild animals or supernatural predators as well, giving them an added threat in combat. Go to Comment
Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's Path pt 4
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-08 08:14 PM
She grows up in time, especially after her trip to Africa in the future. ;) Go to Comment
Royal War Train
Items  (Transports)   (Magical)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-09 08:50 PM
After reading I was left wanting more, more detail of the specific routes, some plot hooks, a few key operators on the train, perhaps descriptions of any unique train carts?

As it is this feels like the beginning to something larger, I would really love to see it expanded upon. Go to Comment
The Commandments of Koret
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-06 05:23 AM


I really like this religion, it's rigid and a bit stoic, perfect for the reserved warrior of the group, and has plenty of quotable commandments that fit will in nearly any situation. (Which can work perfectly for an NPC to use to annoy, amuse and otherwise add life to anything the group might be involved with.)



I can also see this being of use in space faring sci-fi settings as the rules governing an alien society, or a far flung human colony having stumbled upon the huge stone monoliths of commandments and having translated them, believe them to be the words of the creator, or at the very least a superior race and modeled their colony after the teachings.



(Small note on wording, the phrase "when her harvests fruit from a worthy plant he takes-" I think is supposed to be "when he harvests-")

Go to Comment
Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's path pt 3
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-06 02:05 AM
Nope, still every other day, I posted this after midnight on the 5th, blame the pesky international date line for making it appear on the 4th for you :P Go to Comment
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-06 06:05 AM


Outwardly kind, yet secretly cruel and manipulative, she's perfect to add to any royal kingdom or visiting nobility to add a dash of danger and political malfeasance.



I could also see her working well as a romantic sub plot for an unlucky PC. (of course she's only using the hapless PC to her own ends, but until they realize that...)



The D&D/pathfinder write up for stats at the end I personally found handy, since it makes the character even easier to add into a game, or convert to a different rule set if desired.



Also I really loved the pic, it captures her grace and beauty nicely.



(minor grammar note the phrase "As cruel and hateful towards other people as she maybe, she-" I believe is supposed to be "may be-")

Go to Comment
Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's Path pt 2
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-05 01:46 AM
I'm glad you're enjoying it, there's lots more to come, although the beginning pieces are more character building and stage setting, there is plenty of action later on. Go to Comment
Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's Path pt 2
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-05 11:14 PM
Thanks for the feedback, I'll give this an edit this weekend I get some time and take your advice into account, I really appreciate the time and effort it took to give me this much commentary. Go to Comment
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