Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-24 08:18 PM


Compared to Sarah's background of parental death, nano infusion, being knee capped by a trusted friend, Evie's history is down right cheerful. :P (Okay maybe not the stuff that happens in Russia, but that's full of so much action you don't notice the depressing bits much.)

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Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-24 06:25 AM
Her tale is one of loss, and ultimately solitude, as the title suggests. This is only the first... 10-15% of the story, lots more plot twists and (a few heart wrenching moments) to come. Go to Comment
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-25 12:12 AM
It's more from Evelyn's perspective her animal life is already pretty clearly defined by her Life As series of books so she covers pieces in her biography her readers wouldn't otherwise know, which in this case is her human experiences.

part 10 covers more of her animal experiences, as will future pieces here and there.

I like the idea of a chapter purely from her animal perspective, I'll have to add that in at a future chapter, thanks for the suggestion! Go to Comment
Yarnuks
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Water)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-22 12:02 AM
It reminds me slightly of the Cuthulhu mythology of the deep ones, but has a much more usable origin and some interesting concepts.

I do have to agree with Axle however, in that it feels a bit brief, and I would enjoy reading more about their culture and other unique aspects of their race. (Do they forge metals using geothermal vents?) As for the vignette, that too would be a welcome addition. Go to Comment
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-25 12:13 AM
Aye, it's mostly just covering background info, useful stuff for establishing character, but not earth shatteringly exciting to read. Go to Comment
The Gorgon Rune and the Flirting Dress
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-17 02:56 AM
Is this written up for a particular world setting? (if so which, I want to check into it!) If not I can see this working out well in Shadow Run with a bit of tweaking, or fantasy settings with even more changes.

Nicely done, and gives a great usage example of the Flirting Dress. Go to Comment
Elizabeth Sheybad and the Flirting Dress
Plots  (Crisis)   (Encounter)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-16 06:32 PM
A fun short that feels like it's part of something bigger, I would enjoy seeing it continued someday.

Brilliant use of the dress, although I do wonder if the ink would run and perhaps bleed through the dress, making the message visible to all as the night wore on. Go to Comment
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-16 06:02 PM
Aye without suspension of disbelief supers stories deflate rather quickly, although Evie didn't follow her around the air port terminal inside, so much as see which gate she was standing at through the exterior windows then boarded the plane with said tail number in between the loading crews loading of luggage. ;)

AI agree speaking while poly morphed is questionable, but having her shift back into a naked human every time she had to have a conversation, would grow... tiresome and make the stories read like some kind of exhibitionists fantasy

Glad you liked it, more to come in a few days, like usual. Go to Comment
Ellen Lancaster
NPCs  (Minor)   (Artistic/Performance)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-17 07:48 PM
Beautiful and well put together, a bit more lengthy and involved than Sarah's which was nice, and gives a real feeling of depth to her.

Looking forward to seeing one of these for Jenny, and the other prominent Delta Factor personalities! Go to Comment
Flirting dress
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-15 08:34 PM


First I just felt I should point out an error context wise,



Queen Emeralda was a beautiful woman in her youth ( albeit considered ugly in his later years)



As for the dress itself, I can see it being of some interesting use as part of a brothel, or a gift to a prominent NPC who may not know it's effects or how to utilize them,



Other than that I'm not sure it's of much use in most games, expect perhaps as a item of value to be bargained with, or used as a distraction during some other event.



Still fun and interesting sub, and the rumors of the dresses existence certainly adds life to a world history.

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Flirting dress
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-16 04:47 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-14 06:03 PM


The goal was to cover the the important highlights of the relationship, since Ellens factors into a few future chapters prominently. As for detailing the other dates, it came across as unneeded fluff so was edited from the final piece with only important developments listed. (There were a dozen or so dates at least before the intimate one, but a laundry list of dates felt pointless to include.)



Also aye, the chronology is a bit tough to follow due to the edits for brevity, I'll see about fixing that in the near future.

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Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's path pt 5
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-11 08:39 AM


Originally this was part of the 4th sub, but I split it up to keep word count down to a shorter level for those with less time to read lengthy subs, and aye, you're right it likely could be cut with minimal impact.



As for Ellen, I figured it will become apparent the complex nature of that relationship in time. ;)

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The Song That Doesn't End, Part One
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-10 05:49 PM
Humorous and gives some nice insight into the Delta Factor setting, Looking forward tossing both Ellen and Sarah as write ups on their own someday. Go to Comment
Sarah Voltaire
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-10 06:33 PM
Beautifully done, and summarizes all the important highlights of her life, looking forward to seeing Ellen as a sub in the near future! Go to Comment
Rage!
Articles  (At Table)   (Game Mastering)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-10 10:07 PM
The crunchy bits seem to be the start of a new trend in the Citadel. (which I noticed began with the d20 conversion stats included in the Ysra Fulsven Vineblud sub by Axlerowes)

Personally i approve wholeheartedly of a bit of (or in this subs case) a lot of crunch in subs where appropriate, since it gives the reader a ready to use baseline from which they can easily convert things to their rule set of choice.

As far as the sub itself, laying out rage in such a clear and easy to use manner is welcome change from the rather bland versions of barbaric/bestial rage seen in most RPG's.

The table and lay out is generic enough to be easily adapted to most any setting, and one can use the table with some modification to represent the building rage of wild animals or supernatural predators as well, giving them an added threat in combat. Go to Comment
Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's Path pt 4
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-08 08:14 PM
She grows up in time, especially after her trip to Africa in the future. ;) Go to Comment
Royal War Train
Items  (Transports)   (Magical)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-09 08:50 PM
After reading I was left wanting more, more detail of the specific routes, some plot hooks, a few key operators on the train, perhaps descriptions of any unique train carts?

As it is this feels like the beginning to something larger, I would really love to see it expanded upon. Go to Comment
The Commandments of Koret
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-06 05:23 AM


I really like this religion, it's rigid and a bit stoic, perfect for the reserved warrior of the group, and has plenty of quotable commandments that fit will in nearly any situation. (Which can work perfectly for an NPC to use to annoy, amuse and otherwise add life to anything the group might be involved with.)



I can also see this being of use in space faring sci-fi settings as the rules governing an alien society, or a far flung human colony having stumbled upon the huge stone monoliths of commandments and having translated them, believe them to be the words of the creator, or at the very least a superior race and modeled their colony after the teachings.



(Small note on wording, the phrase "when her harvests fruit from a worthy plant he takes-" I think is supposed to be "when he harvests-")

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Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's path pt 3
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-06 02:05 AM
Nope, still every other day, I posted this after midnight on the 5th, blame the pesky international date line for making it appear on the 4th for you :P Go to Comment
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