If nothing else, adding a backstory will help YOU for future posts. A unique, catching backstory could also raise my vote another two points.
Looking at the item, I can see you have a mind for making submissions in here, Lets see you make another one :)
Also, dont forget the purpose OF the citadel - its designed to help one another share roleplaying ideas and advice, so if you're stuck with something, or just have a a base idea you think is worth expanding, by all means, post it in the Flesh it out section in the forums. Go to Comment
So the mechanics behind it are, perhaps, the fruit absorbs energy from the sun and water and nutrients and so forth, and it concentrates the energy within the seed. the flesh and skin of the fruit contains the seed so it doesnt discharge and lose energy, but once the seed comes into contact with something foreign, it releases all its concentrated energy into it. I can see the smaller, younger fruits not bieng as 'tingly' tasting as the larger ones, and with a smaller discharge since it hasnt had as much time to grow and absorb energy.
"The Huge rogue closed in on the humble peasant, his chainmail gleaming in the sun as a club raised to smite the weak man. The man, trembling in fear, pulled out the first thing in his small pouch for self defence. At the sight of a juicy piece of fruit, the large man laughed, and the peasant flung it at him. The soft fruit exploded all over the mans armour, not even slowing him down. But the thiefs sneer turned into a frown at the sound of faint 'crackling'. The pit of the fruit came into contact with the steel of the mans mail, and discharged its energy, running bolts of electricity through the mans torso. The rogue grunted in pain, then keeled over, falling to the ground, paralysed and unconscious."
Hmm. I am thinking, now, of a huge game, or a quest, or an obsession, played by a party of adventurers. They have, in their possession, the watcher. Their mission is to seek the places that the watcher shows them. After they figure out and go to two or three of these destinations, they will realise that watcher is rewarding them each time they reach their destination, with an orb of varying powers. Imagine someone who manages to collect all of the orbs? Vast power indeed.
But what of this: What do the orbs think of this? Will some orbs not take kindly to bieng taken and collected? Perhaps some of them will think it a fun game, and play along with these adventurers. Perhaps some will find it so interesting, that they will battle or reason or manipulate against the orbs who seek to stop the treasurehunt, just to keep it going.
this can turn into a years-long treasurehunt, and therefore a huge campaign. Go to Comment
Good thoughts :) I had thought that to the public, the orb was just like an index book which people can publically access to find books. Actually I like the idea of asking the librarian. How about looking at it from a different perspective:
A sage is reknowned for giving riddles which will always give the correct answer to a question asked to the sage. You must pay the sage, then leave the room for ten minutes while he 'speaks to the spirits'. Ten minutes later, he comes back, magically knowing an answer. But what if a thief is in your party who just happens to snoop around the sages office? "Oooh, whats this ball?"
With the lightfingered thieves - the ball is fused to the library and the stand - it would take powerful magic to defuse it. And as I now see I neglected to mention: like the glow-orbs, it is completely useless outside the walls of the library - it stops answering anything. Go to Comment
I like this. Shows how valuable something simple like warmth can be to different people and creatures. In relation to the cold-blooded 'the one's needs, the orb of warming is a sacred, mighty relic.
I think it deserves a 5/5. Its a simple item, but a good, thorough history and can create some good plots. Go to Comment
I likes :)
Personally, I'd hire the PCs to perform a kidnapping - kidnap the prince (out of the middle of the army), take him away and basically abuse him - toughen him up. Once he is 'rescued' he'll be a bitter man, and will use his anger to take control of the army again. Either that or he'll curl up in his tent and wont come out again - either way, He'll either be fixed, or out of the way for the general to take command. The best way to chop down vain, arrogant men, is to tear that arrogance forcefully from them by belittling them.
Harsh. Cruel, perhaps, but effective. ^^
"I want you to kidnap the prince of this field. I am the only one who knows of you doing this, and if you are caught, I will deny ever knowing you. You must get him out of the camp and hold him hostage in the forest nearby Until I come for him in a few days. The rougher you treat him, the better."
Aaaand just for that added twist - one of the PC's is a double agent? He gets word to the enemy that the prince is by himself with only a few other people in the forest - There'll be mercenaries and bands after them to kill the PC's and capture the prince for a 'hostage'.
Its simple, but it does wrap it up nicely. I'd like to know the physical description of the demon - all we gather is that its form differs from humans, but not so much he cant hide them, and that he also has chains of some sort grafted to him...?
Quite a simple item, and cloaks of hiding are fairly common, unless Im mistaken. Though, if this were given a good background and a more in-depth description I think it could do well. One thing, however - posts in the citadel are supposed to be non-system, so people can adapt it to whatever they wish. please keep it in mind in the future :)
Don't be discouraged, however - keep trying, and im sure you'll make some great items before long. Perhaps looking at some of our 5-rated items will give an idea on the depth and detail needed to get a good mark.
Wow, this gives an idea for something similar for me, but I won't post it because its just a variation of this, plus I'd have to come up with a background for it.
How about, when a certain pair of gloves are worn, Metal, and ONLY metal, is able to be shaped like warm clay. This could mean some brilliant masterpieces by someone good with their hands, but also, if someone forgets about their gloves, then grips their sword (which was passed for generations through the family) too hard, they bend the steel and ruin it completely. If someones dangling off the end of a cliff with these gloves on, and the only thing which the fellow adventurers can reach down for him to grab was a metal mace, the man could grasp it, and the metal will tear apart like clay, the person falling to their dooms :D
:) Yep. Karamus made this item for a noble cause, but that does not mean people with darker intents won't use it for desctruction. But destroying a forest is gonna take a hell of a lot of bows if it destroys one per firing. Go to Comment
lol - if it's plantlife, it will slaughter it, Echo :) So in a world with dangerous plants, entrapping vines which suck your blood and and bulbs that uproot themselves and chase you, these arrows would be quite useful. Go to Comment
True, Anonymous. But even still, a decent sized forest will take a lifetime to raze. Say one walks at a leisurely pace, and does not stop for any rests, 10 hours a day. The average person walks at 3-5 km/h so at their best, that is 50 kilometers IN A STRAIGHT LINE. If they are going to take out a small line, this would mean zig-zagging around. Forests can be hundreds of kilometers squared. It would take a lifetime to take out an entire forest. And dont think you could get 200 people to do this - there were only 200 arrows ever made and they have since been divided over the world, between millions of people. You might get 2-3 arrows, tops. The best thing in terms of destroying a forest I can think of, is that it would be good to make a small clearing (like the loggers did) in a very short amount of time, which would stop anything from coming at you from above.
So once this bird eats these seeds, not even their owner can approach them, lest they be burned to a crisp? An interesting idea nonetheless - A nice, more mundane item, than those we have been seeing lately.
Imagine throwing these seeds into a flock of pigeons, then running through the pigeons to scatter them away - it would be a good way of burning down a town ;)
I'd give this a 3.5/5, but since I cant do that, I'll give it a 4/5 Go to Comment
Patterns in surnames: There are many ways a surname could have evolved over centuries. One possibility is migration. A Roman name may have traveled to France and hence to England where it was later Anglicized. Case in point - the surname Lawrence went from Laurentius (Roman) to Laurent (French) to Lawrence (English) and then to Lowry (Scottish). There is also natural etymological evolution. For example, a Middle English spelling may have evolved to a modern English spelling (e.g. Stiward to Stewart). Where did your character's Surname come from?