A nice item with many uses to the imaginative. an eye-hole can be made to spy in a room. a hole in the wall can be made to shoot an arrow through to assassinate someone. an effective torture device - place it through someones hand. If they still dont want to talk, just place it over their eye without starting it, as threat.
A nice item with a very 'captainpenguinesque'(r) feel to it. Im undecided to if it's worth a 4 or a 5, but I'll give it a 5/5. Go to Comment
Capn, I think it's meant: If someone catches him as a child thinking he will be worth a pretty penny with ransom, and locks such a weak child in a small, wooden cage, Won't they be surprised when the boy changes form and bursts out of it?
As has been said - A good raw idea. A nice beginning. It is a place which holds great mystery: Who built it and why? Why build such a huge citadel in the middle of knowwhere? Why is nobody here anymore? What happened to them?
Woooo, spooky :)
I see this place not as a main section of any campaign, but as a great side dish to a frozen tundra expedition.
----- "We're gonna die out here!" Screamed Julian, His hand unconsciously gripping on his swords hilt for support - but how can one fight a blizzard? He and his friends had thought making their way through this frozen wasteland would have been a great idea to cut off weeks on their expedition. Suddenly - as though a beacon from the very gods themselves - a ray of light glinted just ahead, perhaps something reflecting sunlight from far away. "Quickly! That way!"
It took about 30 minutes for the group to open the vast, icy doors - Julian had to chip away extra bits of ice at the hinges and kick away the large snowdrift forming next to it, and the large door took three of the group to pull open. But finally, they found themselves in this seemedly abandoned castle. Due to the snowstorm outside, it was nearly pitch black in here, but the group exhaustively lowered themselves to the cold ground, counting their blessings that they had been sheltered from this storm. Almost wordlessly, they wrapped themselves in all of their blankets, and fell asleep at the entrance.
Five hours later, Julian woke up. He could have sworn he had just heard someone whisper... But wait, everyone else was alseep...
He could hear the sound of the snowstorm, still barraging the castle walls. But there! There was that whisper again! It wasnt the sound of the wind coming through anywhere, because there was no draft. Julian blinked - in his 5 hours of in this place, his eyes had grown accustomed to the dark - and he could have SWORN he just saw a face peering through the ice of the opaque wall in front of him, as though a child had wiped away the frost on a window and peered in. But that face was no childs face... He remembered Sharpened fangs... Crimson glowing eyes...
Another whisper, and a menacing hiss.
Julian leapt up now, fully awake and terrified. He kicked his friends awake. "We have to leave this place. NOW!"
But as Irony would have it, the snow had packed up against the door again, and they couldnt clear it away from the inside. It seemed they would have to find their way out somewhere else. Which would mean traversing the many corridoors in this god-forsaken place.
Ironic that they had seeked to find sanctuary from death by coming in here. Now they seek sanctuary from death by leaving.-----
Great horror aspect to it.
Maaaan, I could so easily write a BOOK on this place.
4/5 for me. A bit more depth may have gotten a 5/5 :)
Certainly good idea for a first item Go to Comment
The Artist NPCs (Scenario Based)
The side effect is pretty good, but I agree with the captain in that it needs some background. :) I will give it a literal '2', in that it 'shows some promise'. Flesh it out, and It could be fairly interesting.
If nothing else, adding a backstory will help YOU for future posts. A unique, catching backstory could also raise my vote another two points.
Looking at the item, I can see you have a mind for making submissions in here, Lets see you make another one :)
Also, dont forget the purpose OF the citadel - its designed to help one another share roleplaying ideas and advice, so if you're stuck with something, or just have a a base idea you think is worth expanding, by all means, post it in the Flesh it out section in the forums. Go to Comment
So the mechanics behind it are, perhaps, the fruit absorbs energy from the sun and water and nutrients and so forth, and it concentrates the energy within the seed. the flesh and skin of the fruit contains the seed so it doesnt discharge and lose energy, but once the seed comes into contact with something foreign, it releases all its concentrated energy into it. I can see the smaller, younger fruits not bieng as 'tingly' tasting as the larger ones, and with a smaller discharge since it hasnt had as much time to grow and absorb energy.
"The Huge rogue closed in on the humble peasant, his chainmail gleaming in the sun as a club raised to smite the weak man. The man, trembling in fear, pulled out the first thing in his small pouch for self defence. At the sight of a juicy piece of fruit, the large man laughed, and the peasant flung it at him. The soft fruit exploded all over the mans armour, not even slowing him down. But the thiefs sneer turned into a frown at the sound of faint 'crackling'. The pit of the fruit came into contact with the steel of the mans mail, and discharged its energy, running bolts of electricity through the mans torso. The rogue grunted in pain, then keeled over, falling to the ground, paralysed and unconscious."
Hmm. I am thinking, now, of a huge game, or a quest, or an obsession, played by a party of adventurers. They have, in their possession, the watcher. Their mission is to seek the places that the watcher shows them. After they figure out and go to two or three of these destinations, they will realise that watcher is rewarding them each time they reach their destination, with an orb of varying powers. Imagine someone who manages to collect all of the orbs? Vast power indeed.
But what of this: What do the orbs think of this? Will some orbs not take kindly to bieng taken and collected? Perhaps some of them will think it a fun game, and play along with these adventurers. Perhaps some will find it so interesting, that they will battle or reason or manipulate against the orbs who seek to stop the treasurehunt, just to keep it going.
this can turn into a years-long treasurehunt, and therefore a huge campaign. Go to Comment
Good thoughts :) I had thought that to the public, the orb was just like an index book which people can publically access to find books. Actually I like the idea of asking the librarian. How about looking at it from a different perspective:
A sage is reknowned for giving riddles which will always give the correct answer to a question asked to the sage. You must pay the sage, then leave the room for ten minutes while he 'speaks to the spirits'. Ten minutes later, he comes back, magically knowing an answer. But what if a thief is in your party who just happens to snoop around the sages office? "Oooh, whats this ball?"
With the lightfingered thieves - the ball is fused to the library and the stand - it would take powerful magic to defuse it. And as I now see I neglected to mention: like the glow-orbs, it is completely useless outside the walls of the library - it stops answering anything. Go to Comment
I like this. Shows how valuable something simple like warmth can be to different people and creatures. In relation to the cold-blooded 'the one's needs, the orb of warming is a sacred, mighty relic.
I think it deserves a 5/5. Its a simple item, but a good, thorough history and can create some good plots. Go to Comment
I likes :)
Personally, I'd hire the PCs to perform a kidnapping - kidnap the prince (out of the middle of the army), take him away and basically abuse him - toughen him up. Once he is 'rescued' he'll be a bitter man, and will use his anger to take control of the army again. Either that or he'll curl up in his tent and wont come out again - either way, He'll either be fixed, or out of the way for the general to take command. The best way to chop down vain, arrogant men, is to tear that arrogance forcefully from them by belittling them.
Harsh. Cruel, perhaps, but effective. ^^
"I want you to kidnap the prince of this field. I am the only one who knows of you doing this, and if you are caught, I will deny ever knowing you. You must get him out of the camp and hold him hostage in the forest nearby Until I come for him in a few days. The rougher you treat him, the better."
Aaaand just for that added twist - one of the PC's is a double agent? He gets word to the enemy that the prince is by himself with only a few other people in the forest - There'll be mercenaries and bands after them to kill the PC's and capture the prince for a 'hostage'.
Its simple, but it does wrap it up nicely. I'd like to know the physical description of the demon - all we gather is that its form differs from humans, but not so much he cant hide them, and that he also has chains of some sort grafted to him...?
Quite a simple item, and cloaks of hiding are fairly common, unless Im mistaken. Though, if this were given a good background and a more in-depth description I think it could do well. One thing, however - posts in the citadel are supposed to be non-system, so people can adapt it to whatever they wish. please keep it in mind in the future :)
Don't be discouraged, however - keep trying, and im sure you'll make some great items before long. Perhaps looking at some of our 5-rated items will give an idea on the depth and detail needed to get a good mark.