An island fortress of undead gumbearkins which can be shot to neighbouring continents. That. Is. Awesome.
yes, there are spelling and grammatical errors. But considering you did this in 30 minutes they can be overlooked. I couldn't write half as much in 30 minutes, so cudos there. The backstory of how the island and sling shot came to be is amusing and light-hearted and the island will give any adventurers trying to invade a good challenge as well as a few guffaws.
I can just see the party, sailing towards the island whilst undead bear creatures glide above them, some dropping into the water around them, others missing the mark by miles and flying off onto the horizon. Go to Comment
A fair write up of a major evil, and his 'lesser' evils. It feels somewhat 'diablo-esque', like the video game; how each of the princess and princesses are representative of a particular negative force (such as sacrelige or plague).
There is some grammar and spelling issues, which can be excused. This would be a good kind of thing to turn into a '30's' sub.
"30 demonic princes" Go to Comment
I already know some people who worship themselves :p
Its as plausible a religion as any, and I actually recall reading something which has a similar thought to this; I don't remember where though.
It basically went something like; every time you die you are reborn as someone else, and once you experience the life of every living person, you finally become god, because you have experienced all things. So basically the waiter who was rude to you at the restaurant is actually yourself in a future or past incarnation. Go to Comment
This is pretty cool, Cheka. I can see them being useful in many ways. Characters could be part of the religion, or they could require information and hire them out. Additionally, they could be ransacking a cult hideout and one of the cultists starts screaming "no! Don't kill me, im not one of them!" Go to Comment
You've done well with this, cheka; I like the idea of it being a policemans baton - not a common choice for an 'enchanted' weapon. I like that its sentient, and can only be used by good, lawful people. Also, the distress call it sends out when wielded by criminals is awesome, and would have a hilarious backfiring effect to anyone up to no good. The criminals worst mistake lay be looting the body of the policeman he just killed!
For some reason it reminded me a lot of something you'd find in a Discworld book, perhaps wielded by commander Vimes. Go to Comment
This is a really cool, well thought out idea. I would have liked to see further info on more levels, and some more guilds would have been neat but overall, still great! I could almost believe this already existing in the real(?) world; after all, there's already some pretty far-fetched religions out there, and this is more plausible than some! Go to Comment
A very interesting land; i like that its humans against the world, and it is very typical of the humans to begin fighting against one another!
It would be somewhat difficult to put this into any current campaign, because of the rift between human and other races, but would be a fun alternate look at the typical fantasy setting.
I am very curious to see what happens over the next century! I imagine that the humans will end up sabotaging themselves through war and jealousy, while the barbarian races work together to stabilise their land, and they will end up overrunning the human populace!
Can there be half caste races, and if so, how would they be seen in the human and barbarian lands?
In terms of roleplaying i can see this being used in two significant ways:
Either play as humans and have the major plotlines focus on inter-kingdom polititcs and relations, war and the like and have barbarian races come into the game from time to time as an added complexity.
Or play as an elf, dwarf, orc or ther like; have them play a small band of tribalized gypsies just having to survive in the untamed wilds. They have to fight against other tribes for food, do raids on farmlands in the human lands, find a permanent home and so forth. Perhaps they are eventually approached by a kingdom representative of the humans to join their army as conscripts!
The second one sounds fun actually! Playing as hunters and gatherers to survive!
A nifty little fellow, is Griven. I love his eccentric, obsessive nature and can actually see how he would benefit a party: He would be great to give hints or even answers for riddles and puzzles the PC's are struggling with, plus if they encounter a new beastie, Griven may have it's weaknesses written up somewhere. On top of that, they could use him to remember past experiences in their game (such as the password they learned five games ago for the door today).
I can see him getting damned annoying, though! And likely he would get in the way, or add an element of complexity to a battle - they may have to protect the poor gnome.
Hoo hah! A very impressive first post, sir! Welcome to the citadel, and by the looks of this sub, we will definitely benefit from having you around! :) If you feel inclined, you can introduce yourself in the forums: http://strolen.com/guild/index.php/board,19.0.html
There is a chat room which sometimes has a person or two in it, and there's plenty of sections in the forums where you can ask for help, take up a challenge, join a guild, participate in a forum roleplay or just let out whatever insane ramblings are happening in your mind.
ANYWAY! The Sub!
I love it - Kalraka Dziek is a very imposing, dangerous encounter and should not be taken lightly. You've included a great depth of detail and have definitely thought this though. I also like that you've tried to give a psuedo-scientific explanation behind the effects and abilities of the organism.
I can foresee one tactic to destroying Kalraka Dzeik, and it will take a lot of manpower; Razing the area some kilometers around so it is isolated, too far away from anything that even a colonizing arc could strike, and then systematically removing all the Kal within the radius. This sounds like a long, drawn out process and will definitely require the equivalent of an army, especially if the fellow has grown to massive proportions.
I can see a cool scenario and location, where an entire city is abandoned to the Kalraka Dzeik; the city folk had to abandon the place as it got too big to control, so they had to cut away all things around the city which could let it spread. Thus, the city sits alone on the top of a hill, no trees or anything surrounding it, and Kalraka Dzeik sits in wait, jumping from Kal to Kal, unable to expand. The city could be there for years, gaining reputation as a cursed city. PC's could be asked to sneak in and find an item lost, or perhaps as a rescue party for some people who decided to brave it. This way, Kalraka Dzeik becomes less of an organism, and more of a location; 'the forbidden city'. This will take some modifying of your current sub, I know, as I think you mentioned that it cannot survive in the one place for long because it burns away at the Kals, but it can still be worked in :p
Can people use armour out of poor conductors of electricity to reduce the damage or even completely thwart the lightning attacks of Kalraka Dzeik? Glass, Ceramic and Wood, for example. or Rubber/plastics in a more modern environment. Additionally, I would think that Wooden Kals, such as trees, would make a poor host for the creature, and it would need to relocate from these things quickly, or at least not be able to have much of a charge in them.
All in all, a very nice first post with much useful information for a GM to include in their game.
Also, you're right; lightning scars DO look cool! :o Go to Comment
I'm a pretty big fan of the doom franchise, and this seems a pretty fair write up on what the UAC would be like. If i recall correctly, the reason the UAC originally created their bases on phobos and deimos was so they could conduct questionable research and experiments without moral and legal consequences.
The result of that, of course, was a teleportation experiment gone awry, which opened portals into a hellish dimension. In TRUE UAC fashion, instead of leaving well enough alone, they decided to send field scientists into hell to study it. The result of all of this was that demons came through to our dimension and caused all sorts of havoc.
Anyway, this writeup seems in line with how the UAC would operate in a broader spectrum.
and +.5 for nostalgia! Go to Comment
I'd love to help you out Dossta. I'll reserve my voting for later and give you some possible thoughts for one of the original six; feel free to use or discard them as you like:
Anndrais: The Monster Patron
The first-born and eldest of Maire's monster children, albeit only by several months. Anndrais's mother was Siùsan, the timid redhead who Maire first found wrapped around her husbands loins. Being the first and most volatile of Maire's experiments, Anndrais has some troubles with his regeneration; it seems he must expunge twice as much of his soul to replenish just as much flesh as his younger brothers and sisters do. In spite of his increased need for flesh consumption, he only rarely preys on humankind for sustenance; only when his wounds dire or his craving insatiable.
Anndrais took much of Maire's teachings to heart and became quite well learned. In adult life, he is a land owner; playing the game of politics and holding quite a high standing in the courts. Anndrais hides his 'affliction' well, and very few people know of his true nature.
Being the eldest, he considers himself guardian of his younger siblings and will always seek to help them in any way he can - whether financially, or using his political power to get them out of trouble (yet again!!), or finding his poor, weak youngest sister a tasty beggar to sate her thirst on. While Anndrais rarely gives into his craving for human flesh, he forgives even the most bloodthirsty of his family for their discretions.
Anndrais's plot hooks:
- The PC's have been invited to dinner at the manor of Anndrais. The lord is quite accomodating and pleasant. However, something does seem... odd, about him. Hopefully Anndrais isn't TOO hungry or the PC's may not make it out of his manor alive!
- the brave PC's have managed to slay/lock away an undead menace who has been terrorizing the town, killing beggars and prostitutes in alleyways! But soon, the militia is after them instead! The whole town has turned against the PC's, as Anndrais uses his power in the courts to criminalize them, as revenge for daring to attack his younger brother!
Since each of these zombies have sentience they would adopt their own unique personalities. Some could reject their blood-shedding ways, some could revel in it. Some may be timid, others violent. Some may choose to blend into society, becoming wealthy and of a status (yet hiding their secret.). Others may choose to roam the wilds almost animalistically, preying on passing caravans for sustenance. It would be cool to think of the 'stately, reclusive but suave mansion-owner' as a zombie and not a vampire for a change!! Go to Comment
a very rich environment you have created, axle - I love what you have done with it!
I can see plenty of uses for this place too. For example, a plot: The current Favorim has been murdered! The lands have turned to ice and there have been no replacement Favorims lined up as the death was unexpected! Indeed, there don't seem to be any women currently on the isle that fit the required description! The PC's must hunt down a willing replacement - whether it be on the island, or perhaps they must venture out into the rest of Decathros to find her! This, obviously is top priority, but as soon as they return with the replacement a new priority has emerged; who murdered the previous Favorim, and why!?
I love the multiple histories you have.
It impresses me what different views can come out of different peoples' minds: I had not had anything like this in mind when I drew it, but that's the idea. It will make this world rich and diverse, to see what everyone else comes up with.
Ah, also: If someone is gloomy and upset, in a bad temper, people often will say they are "Saulking" in homage to the depressed god. Classic. Go to Comment
this is cooool - I honestly have not given too much thought into sci-fi before for this site, but I really like what I see here; it opens up so much possibility. The chance to uncover alien history, the mystery surrounding Venator's vessel and crew, space bandits, salvage operations.
A massive space-war graveyard with no history. So much for PC's to find out!
Also, I got a Firefly vibe too (although i've only seen the movie, Serenity) - where they went out into reaver territory to get to the planet Miranda. Go to Comment