An interesting idea for sure. I can see many things coming from this, a tradition of women crossdressing as men, a new tradition of Borakian ceremonial warriors, or even a thing where the woman bearing the sword is referred to as Chrysander and a number, such as when Chrysander VII lead the armies on the northern crusade or when Chrysander XII perished leading a contingent of marines against as island stronghold. Go to Comment
One of the things about this submission is that I wrote it in the hopes of pulling some of these different threads together and give them some cohesion. This is also written from the hopeful perspective of putting the setting together into some sort of publishable format, and if it does end up a book, there would pretty much have to be a chapter on how arcanotech works and why it does.
Unfortunately I don't enjoy this aspect because it feels like I am showing my hand, and showing how I do things and make them work on a mechanical level, a functional level and that ruins the magic. Go to Comment
Unable to Heal: natural healing is impossible, the character can only recover lost health via divine magics and healing potions. Potions only work at half strength, and divine magics are opposed by the curse, so weak healing charms will likely fail. Go to Comment
In my mind, I could see a heavy bureaucratic hand writing out the instructions and procedures for the recolonization program, what steps would happen in what order, and the minimums and maximums of what the system was going to do, leaving the appearance of choice, but in reality everything is running a course with no deviation.
Why else would the system keep making the same set of mistakes with each iteration, other than the fact it is following a preplanned program that missed something. Why do the fish keep dying? Because the engineers and programmers who set it up thought having fish was a good idea, but never owned fish themselves so the care instructions are completely wrong. The fish are doomed to die. The mistake will repeat itself 20 times and then quit.
I do like the part about the advanced computers 'counting to infinity' and then shutting down completely. Go to Comment
I like the feel, and the flow of this piece, I can get a strong feel for who Lescelina is, and she reminds me of part Calypso from Pirates of the Caribbean, and part the image of the voodoo priestess, but dressed up in savage primitivism that would rise from a reptilian primitive culture. The fact that she is an elf makes her even more exotic, and dangerous, since elves are typically associated with much cleaner and more aristocratic settings and surroundings.
The gatorfolk are tres bien, no? I like them.
The Meso-american linguistics in the naming is also interesting, but I'm not sure how much I like it. Go to Comment
The main thing that I think of is that you don't have to hit all seven points to have a constructive criticism, but it should ideally make you aware of how you critique, and how you could be more effective. Some people come across as very adversarial in their delivery, while others can end up being unhelpfully vague. Go to Comment
One of the things I love about bureaucracies and other large organizations is their ability to disseminate and dispute the most basic provision ad infinitum.
This, gentlemen, is obviously not a tank, as even the most long ramble that wanders back will know that the tank has a turret and a single cannon fixed therein, and this armored combat vehicle has two cannons in it's turret, and since tanks have one and this has two it's either two tanks, or not a tank at all.
The tobacco industry successfully defended cigarettes for decades before they were out scienced and forced to admit that smoking might possibly be bad for you, according to the surgeon general. Go to Comment
There are, it is sort of a look into fundamentalism in a part of the world that has created zealots and violent organisations for centuries. Take away the oil and money and you have the conditions to start terrorism and that's what's happened today, but the Cosmic Era is post Islam so instead of the prophet we have tech worshipping zealots who are swayed by charismatic imams to wage holy war against those who defile the sacred tech. Go to Comment
I am pleased with it, I am generally pleased with the Cosmic Era setting, I do however have a semi-serious concern about how much I am drinking in the process of creating it. At times I am a machine that turns madness (insanity, not anger) and bourbon into 4000+ word submissions on mecha. I enjoyed writing this sub, and there are several others in work that I have done the same on. Go to Comment