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The Ice Lands
Locations  (Tundra/ Arctic)   (Country/ State)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-08-02 04:24 PM
I think rather than waste army after army in failed attempts to hunt down the barbarians, I think these enraged kings would do what Kings do best. Build.

Villages would in short time become fortified, staring with wooden palisades, but building with stone when they can afford it. The king, and the coffers of these kingdoms would be directed to building a defensive line of fortifications and watch towers, perhaps even going as far as the Chinese did and building a great wall against the northern riders.

Raiders would encounter armsmen, mercenaries and trained militias as well as fortifications in the process of being built. We humans are an industrial people, and lacking the protection of the forests, or the mountains, we make due with what we can. Go to Comment
Lady Nadia
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-08-01 02:13 AM
If this was fishing, I would say you forgot to put some bait on your hook. Nadia seems to have some potential, but it is unrealized.

Nadia's father was accused of treason. Was he guilty? What were the details of the treason? Another note, how did Nadia escape the Royal guard when everyone else was captured?

There could also be more detail in the ring. Where did her mother acquire it, was it a gift, or was it commisioned, or a family heirloom?

Nadia has a supply of potions and poisons, how does she carry them? A secret pouch, or a padded jewelry box perhaps? How much has she used poison? Does she make it herself, or does she buy it?

Last point here. If Nadia is unbearable and snotty, why would anyone be interesting in helping her, let alone spend any time around her?

2/5 Go to Comment
Baragh son of Lard
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-27 03:48 PM
I like this character, and the fact that is both detailed, and has some personal history as well as a goal.

I would also have to agree with the Cap'n. There are a few pesky spelling errors, and the giant paragraph could use a few breaks.

I do have one question, if he is bipedal, wouldn't a large counterbalancing tail be both cumbersome, and often in the way? I only bring up the point since the tail is an extension of the spine, and a bipedal creature has a vertical spine, forcing a large, and likely rigid tail (If it is used as a counterweight to the upper torso when moving on all fours) directly down.

4/5 Go to Comment
Gold in them thar hills
Plots  (Discovery)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-29 02:46 PM
Updated: Added Freetext Go to Comment
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-29 02:45 PM
Updated: Added Freetext Go to Comment
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-18 02:39 PM
I agree that he would be clumsy, especially with fine movement and such. Large items, such as weapons, or other things of that nature wouldn't be much of a problem. On the other hand, writing and handling items made of delicate glass, or paper are right out. Go to Comment
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-18 09:57 PM
He is very angry, and bitter over the matter. If he were more of a thinking man, as opposed to a 'crude crusher' he could be psychotic or worse.

The inability to write doesn't mean much to someone who never writes, but loosing the ability to feel something smooth, or supple like skin would be unbearable. To this end, he spends almost every cent he earns on liquor, or on prostitutes. Go to Comment
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-19 05:36 PM
Wow! I am glad I was able to inspire you so. I am impressed with what you did with him. Kudos. Go to Comment
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-29 02:42 PM
Updated: Minor format edit, added freetext Go to Comment
Tempting Teanoi
Plots  (Discovery)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-15 05:37 PM
Thanks Captain,
Had the idea after watching the new Sinbad flick and seeing the island fish tow the ship. The movie isnt bad, just not as well exploited or well done as it could have been. Some of it looked like CGI before texture mapping. I would give it a 3/5, but would only recommend it to gamers, or fantasy enthusiasts. Go to Comment
Click aka The Orb of Entry
Items  (Other)   (Sentient)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-14 09:42 PM
That Corvus fellow, he was an industrius chap all the way up to that 'Voop' incident

4/5 Go to Comment
Escape from the Kitchens
Plots  (Crisis)   (Side-Quest)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-15 05:25 PM
Interesting plot, it spins the generic murder mystery with two pieces of outside danger, the other actual murderer, and the deteriorating status of the castle.

It could be made even more interesting if the murderer already knows about the deterioration of the castle, and was willing to damage the remaining supports to thwart the PC's, regardless of what happened to the inhabitants of the castle. For a bigger twist, it might be someone like a young noble, or respected member of community.

On the other hand, I would think that there would be warning signs of the castle's poor condition. The floor of the greathall, or another large room might be bowling in towards the center of the room as the weight of the floor increases without support. Other areas might be subsiding, or cracking as the structure settles.

3/3 Go to Comment
A Gaggle of Wizards
Plots  (Duty)   (Multi-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-12 08:10 PM
Like the expression goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The CivyWhizzards want to eliminate evil and dangerous magics, but like EchoMirage said, most people don't know how to mind their own business. Go to Comment
A Gaggle of Wizards
Plots  (Duty)   (Multi-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-14 05:16 PM
Thank You =) Go to Comment
A Gaggle of Wizards
Plots  (Duty)   (Multi-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-29 02:36 PM
Updated: Added Freetext Go to Comment
A Gaggle of Wizards
Plots  (Duty)   (Multi-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2012-01-27 11:20 PM
Not bad, considering I wrote this 8 years ago
Go to Comment
Matsuro Hana
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-11 08:43 AM
Not a bad character, there is ample discription, and it is fairly well written also. I would have to agree with the captain, however, in that Hatsuro doesn't really stand out. I think he might be more interesting if the Crocodile Dundee was brought more to the surface than the Bruce Lee.

One comment on Alpha. A normal great dane is a huge animal if you get the chance to be around on. Most I have been around are nearly four foot tall at the shoulder, and one was nearly four and a half. They are already large dogs, much larger than wolves. They also already tip the scales near the 200 lb mark. A wolf hybrid that is twice the size of a dane, and only 200 lbs is going to look like the canine version of a scarecrow.

I would suggest dropping Alpha to a manageable size, unless he is specifically supposed to be the size of a horse, or up hiw weight to the 500-600 lb range. If you do bump his weight up I would suggest changing his wolf breeding to dire wolf stock, which did grow to stunningly large size.

Lastly, quick fact. Dogs lap up water with their tongues while a wolf will put his muzzle in the water and 'slurp' This is a test done with real life wolf hybrids to see if they can be legally kept. A hybrid can be as much as 15/16th's wolf blood, and as long as it drinks like a dog, it can be owned as a pet. If not, it has to be euthanized or handed over the licensed wolfbreeders who work with the animal agencies. Sorry for such a long responce, but I was on a roll

3/5 Go to Comment
Deeping Steppes
Locations  (Area)   (Plains)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-23 09:34 AM
Although many of m0s0g's posts were indeed deleted, I am glad to see that some of them escaped the deleters key. Go to Comment
By the law they froze
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-15 05:32 PM
It is easy to forget that centuries ago that the law was as often enforced by fear and word of mouth rather than the presence of a civic police force. There might be a sheriff, or constable, but they were certainly not the modern equivalent of the LAPD. Feudalism often relied on making dramatic and powerful examples of those who broke the law to encourage everyone else to obey said laws. The idea is not much different than the brutal excercises of power that the Russian, and Slavic feudal lords inflicted on the peasantry up to the end of the 19th century.

If such punishment is commonplace enough to be accepted by the peasantry of a kingdom, it is likely that said kingdom will be rife with power hungry corruption at the top of the feudal structure, as well as many small coteries of conspirators and informants. It would also likely be ripe for a rebellion against the oppressive and unscupluous leadership.

At the top of this system, the genre 'evil lord' would reign supreme. Good setting, and interesting application, the freezing water is absolutely heartless.

3/5 Go to Comment
Docry Emma
Locations  (Other)   (Country/ State)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-15 05:45 PM
This is an interesting, if potentially difficult plot to handle. The idea of a running war between vampires and demons is certainly out there, but it has potential, especially if you can give it some sort of sympathetic angle.

BTW, I play Vampire/Werewolf, and I think with the exception of Kate Beckinsdale, the movie sucked and bordered between insipid and stupid. Liquid UV?

Perhaps there could be members of the afflicted who are looking to redeem themselves, their human soul/essence/heart trying to overcome the tainted essence of undeath or the demonic blood in their veins. Or, perhaps a high ranking vampire, blood lineage of Bankskin has decided to rebel as the barbarians, having defeated their demonic foes, have lost their barbarian heritage and won't play the hound to the vampire master.

3/5 Go to Comment
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