I am stuck, however, on the price of the spear. Perhaps to be more precise, the cost of using the spear. The first thing that came to mind was that the user most certainly had to have the will to use the weapon. Second, there would be a sacrifice. For this sacrifice, it would have to be of great value and importance, like offering a loved one as blood sacrifice to the Dark God, or perhaps even offerings ones own life upon completion of the task. There could even be a twist that the price for each user is different. I really like the suicide/sacrifice angle, but it leaves a gap in the creation of the dynasties when using the item ensures that its user is not around afterwards to breed. Any input? Go to Comment
The Blackguard, the undying servants of the Dark Gods, akin to the Nazgul, and to Spawn in that their existance is continued for the sole purpose of servitude. This could be a good into into a cult of ancestor worship, praying to the spirits of the dead for help and guidance, these fallen kings and heros could be the Saints and scourges of a culture who worship the dead. Go to Comment
I would bet it would smell quite foul also. It would likely be hard to hide the fact that a said character uses the ruha goo. In more rare cases, the goo might attract ruha slugs, if there is one in the area. Just and idea.
Owning no fewer than three cats myself, I musr admit I do believe that cats do have a rather sinister origin, perhaps having a home somewhere in Hell. But, I also know that my kitties become quite irate when people are upset, and not paying the proper attention to them.
Cats were once worshiped as gods, all cats remember this. Go to Comment
Ghoul with a motive, nicely done. Now, with such an overriding desire, how long will his humanity last before he starts to succumb to the darker impulses, when naked want begins to overpower the near incapacitating fear he has?
All valid comments Echo, ones that weren't considered when Prohibition was instated back in the 1920's. The bosses didnt exist before prohibition, neither did the widespread gang violence. They were all products of prohibition. This is one of the main reasons that prohibition, the 18th amendment to the US constitution was struck down some years later.
As for eliminating the demand, history has proven that it cannot be eliminated, only moderated. As the expression goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Prohibition was fostered through the idea that alcohol caused domestic violence, and immoral behavior, and that eliminating alcohol would eliminate the violence and immoral behavior.
It didnt. A largely religious backed initiative caused over 500 murders, as well as creating large, effective criminal organizations. There are some people who would still bring about prohibition if they could, regardless of the consequences. Go to Comment
Very interesting, a radical elf who has strayed away from the tree-hugging, poetry singing, green clad Ranger of the North ideal. The back story is suitably fantastic to make it epic (such as sneaking into the abode of the gods) while at the same time tragic enough to make it more believable.
A few questions come to mind, though not the this could be better sort, but the I want to know more sort. I want to know more about the downfall of the elven kingdoms, and are their others who survived, their small realms hidden away by magic or geography, or sold their kin to the humans for a piece of safety. With many being taken into bondage, what is the status of elven slaves, and their inevitable half-elven children?
I have to say I am impressed. It sounds pretty good actually, and I can see some nobles seeking to lengthen their families lifespans, making them more politically potent. I would agree, this is a setting that should be posted. Go to Comment
Lets see, more information on the King, perhaps decorations inside the tomb that celebrate his deeds, such as frescoes painted on the walls, or funeral tapestries depicting him in his deeds, maybe hint at his dislike of grave robbers by showing a painting of him supervising the execution of tomb robbers as they exit a tomb.
What about where to tomb is itself. If he is important, why would his tomb be out in the middle of nowhere? Go to Comment
The twist is certainly interesting and deserving of further detailing. There could really be more information on this witch and why she bears sucha grudge against said villagers that she is willing to turn their children into livestock and then have them returned.
I dont know that the troll is that important to the story since a foul tempered outlaw, or village pariah would do equally well in the instance of a courier since a troll is likely to attract undo attention. More background, more details, and perhaps a plot hook on how the PCs could be drawn into this rather than killing the troll and 'stumbling' onto the secret.
The thing about a cliche that most people forget is the reason that it is a cliche. It is a cliche because it works, and though this isnt the best, it is certainly far from the worst. (playing good cop/bad cop...heh heh)
To be certain, it does have many cliches, from relying on the doddering old magus for the answers, to lost cities and gems as keys. Why is this cliche, because since it works, it has been overworked, like a good field not left fallow on occassion.
The question becomes how to make it fresh, how to make it good again. This can be done with a little thought, and a lot of attention to details, as they say, the Devil is in the details.
My main problem with this plot is there is not much of a hook. If the characters are of a mercenary nature, they will likely just sell the map. There has to be something to draw them in moreso than just an old scrap of paper in a bottle. Perhaps this chaos barrier is slowly failing, and the PCs are brought face to face with chaos monsters and warp demons before finding the map. Then the map becomes important, especially if the demons were powerful and hard to banish.
As always Detail detail detail
will rate after some editing Go to Comment
It would have been simple to merely state that twelve children were sacrificed to create a Frankensteinian monster that looked like an elf and had higher motivations. The extra effort to create, and name the twelve is worthy of more than five flames, but as that is all that I can give, that is what I will give. Very well done!