Not a bad character, there is ample discription, and it is fairly well written also. I would have to agree with the captain, however, in that Hatsuro doesn't really stand out. I think he might be more interesting if the Crocodile Dundee was brought more to the surface than the Bruce Lee.
One comment on Alpha. A normal great dane is a huge animal if you get the chance to be around on. Most I have been around are nearly four foot tall at the shoulder, and one was nearly four and a half. They are already large dogs, much larger than wolves. They also already tip the scales near the 200 lb mark. A wolf hybrid that is twice the size of a dane, and only 200 lbs is going to look like the canine version of a scarecrow.
I would suggest dropping Alpha to a manageable size, unless he is specifically supposed to be the size of a horse, or up hiw weight to the 500-600 lb range. If you do bump his weight up I would suggest changing his wolf breeding to dire wolf stock, which did grow to stunningly large size.
Lastly, quick fact. Dogs lap up water with their tongues while a wolf will put his muzzle in the water and 'slurp' This is a test done with real life wolf hybrids to see if they can be legally kept. A hybrid can be as much as 15/16th's wolf blood, and as long as it drinks like a dog, it can be owned as a pet. If not, it has to be euthanized or handed over the licensed wolfbreeders who work with the animal agencies. Sorry for such a long responce, but I was on a roll
It is easy to forget that centuries ago that the law was as often enforced by fear and word of mouth rather than the presence of a civic police force. There might be a sheriff, or constable, but they were certainly not the modern equivalent of the LAPD. Feudalism often relied on making dramatic and powerful examples of those who broke the law to encourage everyone else to obey said laws. The idea is not much different than the brutal excercises of power that the Russian, and Slavic feudal lords inflicted on the peasantry up to the end of the 19th century.
If such punishment is commonplace enough to be accepted by the peasantry of a kingdom, it is likely that said kingdom will be rife with power hungry corruption at the top of the feudal structure, as well as many small coteries of conspirators and informants. It would also likely be ripe for a rebellion against the oppressive and unscupluous leadership.
At the top of this system, the genre 'evil lord' would reign supreme. Good setting, and interesting application, the freezing water is absolutely heartless.
This is an interesting, if potentially difficult plot to handle. The idea of a running war between vampires and demons is certainly out there, but it has potential, especially if you can give it some sort of sympathetic angle.
BTW, I play Vampire/Werewolf, and I think with the exception of Kate Beckinsdale, the movie sucked and bordered between insipid and stupid. Liquid UV?
Perhaps there could be members of the afflicted who are looking to redeem themselves, their human soul/essence/heart trying to overcome the tainted essence of undeath or the demonic blood in their veins. Or, perhaps a high ranking vampire, blood lineage of Bankskin has decided to rebel as the barbarians, having defeated their demonic foes, have lost their barbarian heritage and won't play the hound to the vampire master.
Yes, I was inspired by Anne Rice, should anyone be interested you can read more about Aunt Queen in the book 'Blackwood Farm'
I took the basic character and adapted her to fit a game setting, and if you had read the character completely you would see that Tarquinn was included, but in a tertiary manner.
AS for Goblin and Lestat, no I don't think that they would make good characters, too involved for the former, and too munchkin for the latter. Reading is good for GM/DM/ST's but far too many limit themselves to game books and the fantasy genre in general which produces a certain flavor of character that becomes old after a while, with everyone broken down into levels/XP/class and rank and special abilities. Go to Comment
Tortured souls wrapped in chains? Makes me think of Hellraiser, and how much it made me squirm the first time I saw it. Could be a very untrustworthy informant, or ally. Sure he has a conscience, and a soul, but a demon is a still a demon, right.
This reminds me of something I saw on TV, I can't recall if it was the Twilight Zone, or Amazing Stories, but the vignette was called 'Typewriter of the Gods' and it was alot like this, but the writer discovered it's power to make what he wrote true, and got in all sorts of trouble by trying to bring people back from the dead. Don't remember much more than that, it has been a few years since I'd seen it.
Otherwise, well written, but I don't know how well I would be able to work it into a game.
Well, I think Sieg has some potential, but I have a few questions.
1. Sieg's armor and weaponry sound impressive and exotic in their descriptions. How did he afford, or come to own this much gear? In normal economics, a suit of plain plate mail is going to cost on par with a midrange car, and I would guess Sieg's gear would be in the neighborhood of a F1 race car.
2. Who are these mercenaries, and how did they come to save a rising star of a knight who was attacked, and almost killed by one of his own?
On a final note, I think Sieg could be the next big role for Steven Seagal, you know, 'I'm just the cook' Go to Comment
Thank you very much for the feedback. I'll see about starting a thread about more horse brass. As for gamers treating horses like motorcycles, I can't agree more. I myself was guilty of it until meeting my wife to be and her horse. They both taught me alot about horses and hoe much they have a mind of their own. When 1200 pounds of animal decides the play 'run away from things we think are scary' there isn't much a rider can do but hang on, or bail off. Go to Comment