Reminds me of Death Note, in the concept of writing a persons name causing them to die. It does need some sort of backstory to go with it, a sort of where it came from an why it exists sort of thing.
How precise does the name have to be, is the full name required, or birth name, or can it work with just a first name and specific intent? Could a wizard or noble avoid this spell by having a secret true name and the public name they go by? Go to Comment
The idea is solid, and the story of Rhian is not bad, though his name is repeated too many times. I like the basic premise of the idea, though the powers are too game specific. They won't work very well in a setting that doesnt use weapon speed or other factors. Go to Comment
Neat item for punishing criminals, assassins and rogue mages. Their sentence could be a preset amount of time wearing the ring, though I can see the local law 'forgetting' to take the ring off of the fingers of convicts when their time is up. Go to Comment
On the other hand I do like posts like this for what they can be dissected for.
1. The trees were enchanted to produce white light day and night by Lord Valanair - Who was this Lord, is he still around, why did he magic the trees to glow? We already have a potential NPC, and an odd lifeform - the glowing trees.
2. The Flute of Vaxtar - what is it, what can it do, etc etc etc
3. Ellivanor, Meltifiace and Quelfinare - Three cities, three locations. Why is Ellivanor the largest? Are there any rivalries? What are the cities known for, if anything.
4. There is an army of seasoned elvish warriors supported by 240 rangers - Seasoned armies have seen combat and survived if not prevailed. Who have they fought, who are their enemies, what were their losses?
Unofortunelty I must give this submission a 1.5/5, other than spawning some interesting questions, it is still generic, vague, and alltogether too short. Go to Comment
Could use some cleaning up on the formatting side, but aside from that a staggeringly cool read. The names are pure Penguin, leading us off to ponder their meanings, my favorite being the Prince of the Endless Corridor. There is a very strong and resonate dichotomy between the Understar's calm demeanor, and the power of will that bound the nine monsters to the pearls and would unleash ruin upon the world. Go to Comment
i think that Urisk could be expanded upon and fleshed out into a good character. The libido of the satyrs is well known, but perhaps the exploits of a Bilbo Baggins-esque satyr who lives in a near chihuahua like state of fear but is driven by his own almost alien libido... interesting. Go to Comment
Reading this again I am left with a question, why is Urisk such a coward? The Fae, being more manifestations of emotions and such, rather than biological entities, is Urisk the fear of sexual rejection? Or something of that nature? Bah! I need more coffee Go to Comment
Look what surfaced! I think this could be a good idea in a long term campaign as it turns a static setting into a dynamic one. The actions of the PC party should have consequences, ranging from being remembered as cheapskates at the armorers, to that kid at the brothel who looks alot like the PC mage... Go to Comment
A weapon that has gained a negative resonance from it's owner. A nice alternative to the weapon that gains uber-powers from being the weapon of a great and mighty hero. It could be a weapon that is sought to defeat say an new army of war spirits, but in doing so the hero who takes up the sword is in essence sacrificing himself...or herself. Go to Comment
I like the rich description of this item, and can easily imagine it. Now, I dont particularly care for the power, wafting about miniature fireballs and such. If I might add my idea, such as it is...
Once the fan is activated, one needs only to fan the Fan, as it were, and...ithe edge of the fan is illuminated in a wreath of celestial flame. This flame causes no damage to the weilder of the fan, but deals devastating wounds to the corporeal undead, as well as driving away spirits of illness, the dark, and evil. Such spirits and persons of exceptionally evil character must overcome the radiance of the fan to attempt to attack the bearer.
If folded, the fan can be invoked, and will wreath itself in phoenixflame, but instead of causing injury, the folded fan can be used as an aid in attempts to heal the sick or injured. The great Hero Youhei touched a man burning with fever, and spoke the seven words of the whole body, and tapped him in the seven chakras with the folded fan. The man was alieved of his fever and sprang to the Hero's said completely cured of his illness./i
i pray that I have not taken to many liberties, Cap'n. Go to Comment