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Neptune's Court
Locations  (Establishment)   (Water)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-07-09 11:49 PM
Writing is an arrogance of our agrarian, and sedentary lifestyle. The keeping of records and other boring information requires the skill of writing. Keeping the history and lore of a people, often in the form of oral epics is the place of the bard and loremaster. The merfolk arent farmers, they dont plant crops, dont till the undersea soil. They survive by hunting fish and gathering food from the coral reefs and such. Their language could be very large and intricate, with no written counterpart, and permanent messages recorded in stone in the form of pictographs, or in the borrowed tongue of some other aquatic race, or borrowed from us surface dwellers. Go to Comment
Lynnae Tinumir
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
Scrasamax's comment on 2008-10-11 12:36 AM
I share Echo's sentiment, the two-weapon fighting and the dislike of giants screams Dungeons and Dragons basic Ranger. The background is rather longer than it needs to be, and there are some funny characters studded in the sub that need to be weeded out. (âfind her wayâ) Go to Comment
The Saviour
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-07-04 10:12 PM
What better device of salvation for the people of coral than a weapon of coral. I can see there being a small problem of the weapon being useless against an armored foe, especially well made metal armors or perhaps armor made from the thick carapaces of exotic undersea beasties. All in all, nicely done. Go to Comment
Maelbrecht, Render of Iron
Items  (Materials)   (Combat)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-28 10:25 PM
The basic idea seems to be lacking, honestly. A stone axe covered in glass seems both unwieldy, heavy, and very easy to break. I only mention this as their was no mention of the glass being strengthened by the alchemists when they coated the axe with glass. The inventor in question, and his quest to understand the goop was quite entertaining, along with his less than spectacular mansion. I wouldn's mind seeing more about Furlongdor and his lands

I think this idea, the armor dissolving weapon, might work better with a sling and the acid filled ampuoles. The weapons of the nobility are as much symbols of status as they are tools of war. Go to Comment
Firebow
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-27 04:05 PM
I can see mass outcry at the horrific nature of the weapon, and the utter contempt for humanity it possesses, much like the outcry against the original crossbow, and more modern weapons such as landmines and napalm. I can almost see the History Channel doing an hour long show on the development and usage of the Firebow, and its enventual decline among the soldiery and adoption by the more more flamboyant and less pragmatic adventurer. I especially liked the last paragraph.

5/5 Go to Comment
The Smiter
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-24 04:26 PM
Good form. Go to Comment
Cloak of the Daywalker
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-22 04:19 PM
I would have to agree with what the others above have already said. The item is certainly too powerful, especially for their to be potentially 21 of them floating around. I did enjoy the writing, but as Moon said, you should make some notation at the begining to indicate that it is a journal or diary entry of some sort.

I look forward to more of your work. Go to Comment
Ravenman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-22 11:50 PM
Dammit Cap'n, I wanted dibs Go to Comment
Ravenman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-22 04:31 PM
As the Current standing PostNazi...

rant
I've got this great idea, I'm going to start going around and turning innocent children into grotesque and powerful half monsters after slaughtering their families in front of them. What a cool idea, and then I'll be surprised when the little maggots (apologies to Maggot) show up looking for revenge.

Naw, I'm going to go around and turn all of the innocent children into something ridiculus, like half-parakeets, were-spider monkeys, and...really cute collie dogs that are green.

This...is...absurd.
Why would the wozaerd leave a powerful magic staff that can summon millions of ravens behind for Ravenman (knocked yourself out on that name, didn't ya).

Ravens are popular because they are a symbolic creature, a creature of ill omen, and impending death and doom. Nevermore, if you get the picture Agony. This is munckin revenger redone, and poorly redone at that.

/rant

I hope that wasnt over the top, but I felt inspired to supply some vitriol for AG Go to Comment
Ravenman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-22 04:35 PM
Now, for some useful commentary.

There is a magic item on the cartoon Xiaolin Showdown called the Monkey Staff. So long as the monk has the Monkey Staff, he is as agile as a monkey, but there is a price to be paid. The longer he has the staff, the more monkeylike he begins to act, and he also begins to develop simian features, with a prehensile tail being first. Eventually, he would become a money with a good understanding of Kung-Fu, and refuse to release the Monkey Staff.

Rather than a wandering malicious wizard, perhaps a teenage youth, eaten with teenage angst finds a magical staff and can fly like a raven with it. (Might be better if the McGuffin is an article of clothing like a dashing cloak or somesuch} However, being unpopular with the others, for whatever reason, he is consumed with a cold avian anger for them and attacks them. He is eventually overcome by the spell and becomes the Ravenman, yet somewhere inside the black-eyed killer is the spirit of an unhappy kid who only wanted to be understood and accepted. Go to Comment
Ravenman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-04-08 10:08 AM
I think this would be a good submission to keep in the archives because it is more than a 15 word slap-dash effort. It shows what we give low votes too, and also shows that sometimes we can be a little too heavy with the stick, and not offering enough of the carrot. Reading my comments to Agony makes me want to be a better critiquer, rather than being an abusive critiquer.

I think we should leave it/ Go to Comment
The Bone Stitcher
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2007-04-04 03:26 AM
I love when one of my older submissions gets dredged up to to the recent comments section. Why Evil? Quite simple actually, and in a single word, Method. The bone stitched is evil because it is a quick and dirty fix. You want massive muscles, you summon it, get chewed up and slapped back together with big bulgy muscles like you wanted.

The 'good' method would be to train, excercise, eat a high protein diet. In short, you earn it, you dont get it for nothing other than a few scars. Go to Comment
The Bone Stitcher
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2013-06-05 01:38 PM
I love this idea, Summon Infernal Battlefield Medic Go to Comment
Philosopher's Mercury
Items  (Materials)   (Non-Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-08 04:28 PM
A very interesting idea that has yet to be fully realized. Now, do something interesting with it.

3/5 Go to Comment
Demitri Elexial
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-08 04:33 PM
Definately shows some promise, filling in the gaps of the missing father could really round out the story. I am curious to know how he has a dragon father when the only dragon 'known' was the blue with the ogres.

2/5 Go to Comment
Chainmail of Forgetfulness
Items  (Armor)   (Cursed)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-03-29 02:33 PM
the idea is novel, armor of forgetting, but alot might be lost in the presentation. this could be a good sort of cursed item, especially if the DM is an item tracker who keeps copies of back character sheets from previous games.

Of course Bob, you've always had that armor, look it was on your CS from last month... Go to Comment
Fflam the Puny
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-10 10:53 PM
Fflam prostrates himself upon the cold floor of the citadel, pulling at his ears with the joy he feels at your kindness. Fflam doesnt deserve such kind praise, yes it pleases Fflam that Pariah is pleased with him.

(I forgot about this miserable little fellow. Made me laugh) Go to Comment
Fflam the Puny
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-12-06 03:34 PM
Well, both Dobby and Gollum were referenced when I was writting Fflam, but the real idea is portraying the most pathetic of demons, an underling so low that he is generally only summoned by goblins and their ilk and thus is desperate for attention from a real wizard and a chance to regain power lost so long ago he can barely remember it. Go to Comment
Jorran Aklia
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-02-01 11:13 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
A Wizard's Secret
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-06-05 12:08 AM
Now this is an interesting idea, an enchanted book mark. I guess it is the logical step of a bibliocentric spellcaster. It could get silly, going into enchanted book jackets, and the like, but as it stands, I like the idea.

I'll rank it 3/5 since it is a good idea, but not really fleshed out beyond a basic magic item that a magic user would have. A good backstory and perhaps a point of origin would make it a really outstanding post. Go to Comment
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