Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Arrkrash
NPCs  (Extras)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-04-04 05:24 PM
I think if you want more details on Arrkash, you will have to make them up yourself, I think it has been more than a little while since Agony was here. Go to Comment
Arrkrash
NPCs  (Extras)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2007-06-10 12:41 AM
Update

This submission has been in the citadel for 2 years at the time of this update. Since it's inception it has served a purpose and is very well known among Citadel membership. With apologies to Agony, this submission stands as the low water mark. It has every example of being a bad submission, which have already been beaten to death in the commentary above.

This submission has been challenged a number of times (by the same member, I might add) and each time it has emerged again as the prime example of a bad submission. For lack of better language this submission will remain in the Citadel until Agony or Strolen himself decide to remove it and not a moment less.

With Agony returned to the site I hope to see him return to this submission and possibly make some of the changes that were suggested above, but I am fine with it the way it is now. Arrkrash can now be considered 'under my protection' Go to Comment
Arrkrash
NPCs  (Extras)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2007-09-21 10:32 PM
What Wulf said. Agony has spirit. Go to Comment
Noose of Redemption
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-05-20 10:31 PM
Last Season's Boots
Items  (Clothes)   (Cursed)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-05-16 02:55 PM
The background is good, and the story is intriging. More importantly, the item is original in my perception, and certainly usable without upsetting a game in terms of power.

4/5 Go to Comment
The Pilgrim's Torch
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Heroic)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-05-11 03:03 PM
DL is entirely correct that magic swords are a dime a dozen, yet this one stands out quite effectively. The backstory sets it in high regards, with other luminary blades that were as often plot devices as they were weapons of magic power, such as Excaliber and Durandahl. The story is excellent and reflects the journey of the hero who in coming to terms with power must make the ultimate sacrfice at the apex of his power. Kudos for creating a truely 5/5 post Echo. Go to Comment
The Temple of the First Man
Locations  (Establishment)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-05-12 03:11 PM
Nice

5/5 Go to Comment
Bolar
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-05-06 03:12 PM
but that would ruin the tragedy BH. Perhaps in confronting Rachat in the final battle, he could be persuaded to see the falsehood of his master's promise. Nicely done.

4/5 Go to Comment
Rachat the Devil
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-05-03 03:25 PM
Feel free to link Maggot. I have found that posting characters from my own games generally generates a mediocre, or very little responce, so most of the NPCs I post are pretty much free to use, so long as they are not out right 'stolen'

Echo, so long as they are unique and worthy individuals, there is no reason to shy away from creating a batch of Half-demons. I was inspired by sTYKe's Kairos demon, or by what it could have been, especially the part about moonlight.

A note on Rachat's race, if I list him as Half-Devil, it conjures the idea of some sort of bizarre horned and fork-tongued monstrosity. Rachat appears, and acts human, and other than a few oddities, such as a taste for undercooked meat and his eyes, passes for human very easily. Go to Comment
Rachat the Devil
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-08-25 12:33 AM
And there was going to be a prize awarded to whomever was the first to point that out, but since it was pointed out by an anonymous user, no prize! Go to Comment
Khu-Nakht Amen
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-15 03:15 PM
Wonderful description and personal action, and I would agree with Adel that he is too powerful as presented, but with a little detailing, he could be truely great. Perhaps his appearance of power belies the less tangible flaws, perhaps ailments of the soul, or the spirit.

I'll also hold my vote a day. Go to Comment
The Treasure House
Locations  (Plains)   (Ruins)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-15 03:23 PM
Sweet is such savage pleasure.

5/5 Go to Comment
Goryen's Key Stones
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-15 03:12 PM
As Agar said, not terribly interesting, but a solid item. A better, or more filled out backstory could really help this item. Otherwise, not impressed.

2/5 Go to Comment
Corticus the Strong
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-14 03:23 PM
You are improving, I knew thatthis NPC was going to come up with a 'he got everything he wanted' ending, which would have been lame. I think it is good that he fell to the corruption of power, and I can see him being quite narcissitic and shallow, considering his rapid rise in ability.

3/5 and steadily improving Go to Comment
The Shark King's Bones
Locations  (Water)   (Ruins)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-10 09:10 AM
beautiful in a savage way. Well done.

5/5 Go to Comment
The Shark King's Bones
Locations  (Water)   (Ruins)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-31 09:59 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Cornelia
NPCs  (Minor)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-10 06:21 PM
rantYeah, because Pinocchio had the dismembered parts of a once living little boy buring in his wooden chest. I dont see any strong Disney, or Pinocchio elements other than the fact that both Cornelia and Pinocchio were both made of wood./rant

Cornelia should ideally seen with pity, as she is not much more than a ghost permanently bound into a wooden body. She has no face, and cant enjoy many things that a living person can, that is, she cant eat or smell, she cant have sex, she really cant sleep or dream either. All she can do is continue her existance in the perpetual service of a wizard that she has the benefit of loving. I can easily imagine other jacks being created without this sympathetic bond. Go to Comment
The Everlasting Cantine
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-07 03:26 PM
Sorry I almost destroyed your home and livelyhood. Here, have this shiny canteen.

Not a bad item, if overpowered. I think that the canteen should have no special resistances, and would thus be destroyed by acid, or lava, while normal beverages would be fine.

2/5 Go to Comment
Gotmag
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-06 03:21 PM
Gotmag in 2008!

superb!
5/5 Go to Comment
The Isle of the Dead
Locations  (Area)   (Other)
Scrasamax's comment on 2005-04-05 03:29 PM
I can see the surface of the island covered in the marble and polished granite mausoleums of the wealthy, each a monument to the ego of the deceased. These would have been purchased with sizeable donations to the clergy, likely also 'selling' an offspring to the protectors of the island. Obviously these would be family affairs, with only blood relations buried in the many niches and alcoves within each structure. Nicely done.

4/5 Go to Comment
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